I'm v sad, husband doesn't want to get intimate anymore after I had a baby

[decoco]

I'm very sad lately. I feel that my husband doesnt want to get intimate anymore after I had a baby.

My dear daughter is coming to 8 months. We've had BD maybe only 3 times since dear daughter is born.. How can it be? I kept asking myself. I asked him too, always joking to him why he can stop asking for sex? How did he settle his needs himself? He said he knows I'm tired. Which is true but I m not always tired. Plus, shouldnt we both try to find time to get to bed early so we can get some intimacy?

At first I really tell myself we are both tired. But sex only 3 times over this 8 months is ridiculous. I'm getting worried.

Does this happen to you girls? Can someone tell me if this is normal? I feel very depressed and feel that he's treating me this way because he doesn't find me attractive anymore. Do you have to schedule with your husband so as to really b getting to bed to do it?

 

[Mandy Wong]

You are pregnant now right?

 

[decoco]

Erm no.. I just gave birth end last year

 

[dinnie]

Erm no.. I just gave birth end last year

how old is he?

 

[shopaholic]

How long hv u been married? I think it's best to talk to your hubby about this, like your needs and to rekindle the passion. I dont think having a schedule works, in fact, if I am the hubby, it will kill off any interest. Intimacy should be spontanous, not scheduled.

Also, if you hv someone whom you can entrust your baby to, perhaps have a short getaway to relax and enjoy each other's company again?

 

[Mandy Wong]

Yup agreed with shopholic. I think if your hubby don't get intimate with you means sth must be wrong.. Since he don't want to tell u the truth, maybe u shld go investigate urself... See whether he got any woman outside or what... Just check to have a peace of mind? Man has needs. If they don't get it from you means they are getting it from someone else.. Maybe u can check his hp or wad...

 

[organic]

Yup agreed with shopholic. I think if your hubby don't get intimate with you means sth must be wrong.. Since he don't want to tell u the truth, maybe u shld go investigate urself... See whether he got any woman outside or what... Just check to have a peace of mind? Man has needs. If they don't get it from you means they are getting it from someone else.. Maybe u can check his hp or wad...

its really not normal for 3 times a day.I agreed you should investigate like what mandy say. You should just initiate sex to him and if he reject him, then you should talk and find out from him why he dont want.

 

[piggie]

its really not normal for 3 times a day.I agreed you should investigate like what mandy say. You should just initiate sex to him and if he reject him, then you should talk and find out from him why he dont want.

Yea, as much as i hate to agree, 3 times in 8 months is funnie.
well, some guys needs time to adjust to being a father and maybe your hubby is still "adjusting" or like some other mummies did mention abt hubbies having phobia after seeing their wives give birth... did your hubby see you give birth?

should just have a good talk with him b4 you jump to conclusions.

I myself am currently 8mths preggie, been not having sex with hubby for the past mths too since I was like 2mths pregnant. He refuses anything else too, like BJ or HJ... haiz.. guess just have to grin and bare it bah..

 

[decoco]

My hubby is 30.. And don't think it's possible for him to stray cos he comes home everyday after work and work at home.. And weekends we stay together all the time..

Not sure about the phobia though.. He did see my labour. can that be the case? Ive been hinting all the time that we should try for second baby.. But maybe he's too tired and I am v tired too. But I just thought if he has needs, whether tired or not will still want to do it?

Should I like ask him to come to bed earlier? You know cos he's always busy working in the study if not surfing net or doing housework. While I will be breastfeeding and when baby sleeps I lie down to rest.. Waiting for hubby but he takes so long to come to bed that I will fall asleep and it gets really late.. How do u girls manage the time? With a baby seems like no time..

 

[dinnie]

what he work as? can't he take leave or time off? he needs to 'release' also

 

[Renzie]

Hubby was afraid to touch me in the beginning after I gave birth to DD too, he was afraid of hurting me and that I might be too tired. Sometimes its his turn to be tired as well. Why not have a good talk with him about it? He could be tired after a day's work. And also it will be good to take initiative instead of waiting for him to come to bed, he might see you lying down on the bed and thought that you might be too tired. Sometimes after DD goes to sleep, I'll go looking for him instead.

 

[Mandy Wong]

ya i tink u shld take more initiative, if he dont come to you, why nt go to him? wear sexy lingerie to tempt him? Ask someone to take care of ur baby for a whole day while u all go out and relax... that might set him to the mood.

 

[sweetflame]

You have to talk to your husband regarding that. You can also make the first move if you want, but you must be confident in doing that. To put you in mood, you can try reading some of today's best fantasy romance books. Be romantic just like when you dont have a child yet.

 

[Dorris]

ya i tink u shld take more initiative, if he dont come to you, why nt go to him? wear sexy lingerie to tempt him? Ask someone to take care of ur baby for a whole day while u all go out and relax... that might set him to the mood.

Yup, thumbs up

 

[integrasky]

thinks its fine... the last time i did it with my wife was... erm... 2 months back too....

 

[extremepower]

you have to dress sexy and make him horny again. Something is wrong with the guy. Most me need to release at least once a week. Do you remember how to make him horny the last time? Do some pole dancing or whatever to keep it alive.:001_302:

 

[hunnybunny]

You know ur husband best. Dont let anyone influence ur thinking abt him. Maybe u can try changing ur image or hairstyle. And you do the initiative.

 

[woofy55]

Have you put on lot of weight? Men are actually visual creatures. After I lost my 12kgs, my hubby looked at me differently again. The feeling is actually different between going thru the motions due to needs and between his wants.

 

[Septemberain]

My hubby is 30.. And don't think it's possible for him to stray cos he comes home everyday after work and work at home.. And weekends we stay together all the time..

Not sure about the phobia though.. He did see my labour. can that be the case? Ive been hinting all the time that we should try for second baby.. But maybe he's too tired and I am v tired too. But I just thought if he has needs, whether tired or not will still want to do it?

Should I like ask him to come to bed earlier? You know cos he's always busy working in the study if not surfing net or doing housework. While I will be breastfeeding and when baby sleeps I lie down to rest.. Waiting for hubby but he takes so long to come to bed that I will fall asleep and it gets really late.. How do u girls manage the time? With a baby seems like no time..

Some men after seeing delivery, especially video it, something went on their mind, if its so better speak to him. Some because of pragnancy period lost the momentum . Some got turned off after seeing the change in shape. Some need to work and help out with night feeding, lost the energy. Those who had caesarian, some men thought not to do to avoid causing further aggravation to the wound. Some have all of the above. Some may have other outlet established if their engine was 500hp. You have to talk it out. Don't keep quiet and wait.

 

[Septemberain]

Have you put on lot of weight? Men are actually visual creatures. After I lost my 12kgs, my hubby looked at me differently again. The feeling is actually different between going thru the motions due to needs and between his wants.

U are very right about this ancing_wub: