Infidelity

[Ting]

like i said, it all depends on the both parties involve.
sex doesnt contribute to tt factor.
cos some ppl hv casual sex, or flings.
if both are in an agreeable relationship, meaning both acknowledge the relationship, be it serious( enough to get marry) or not (just a pure BGR with no plans of marriage yet), both r romantically linked.
in this case, if any party, guy or girl, strayed, it is infidelity.


BUT, if both do not acknowledge their relationship or is in an open relationship, then u hv to see their agreements to each other.
maybe they agreed tt they r tgt but yet still allowed to go out with ppl from the opposite sex, then no, it is not infidelity since both did not compromise in being faithful.

 

[Jss]

the issue here is both are in a serious relationship (be it married or dating) but yet one party still searching for opposite sex to meet up without letting the other party know. or so call abuse the other party trust.

even there is nothing between this new found friend. it just a simple meet up for lunch? shouldnt he/she tell the partner? why dont he/she come clean with the partner?

 

[Ting]

hmmmm, if it is really nth involve, just a simple lunch meet up with a fren (be it which gender), no its not infidelity. but i think the least respect he/she could give is to inform their partner.
to your anwser 1: yes they shld at least inform their partner.
to your answer 2: i dunno why they dun wanna come clean, perhaps, they wanna try their luck with the "new" fren.

like u say, SEARCHING for opposite sex to meet up n all, well, means this person is NOT serious in this relationship.

 

[Jss]

hmmmm, if it is really nth involve, just a simple lunch meet up with a friend (be it which gender), no its not infidelity. but i think the least respect he/she could give is to inform their partner.
to your anwser 1: yes they shld at least inform their partner.
to your answer 2: i dont know why they dont wanna come clean, perhaps, they wanna try their luck with the "new" friend.

like you say, SEARCHING for opposite sex to meet up n all, well, means this person is NOT serious in this relationship.

if to meet some new found friend of the same gender... it a simple issue.
to informed or not, not a big issue

but if were to meet a new found friend of the opposite gender and not telling yr partner. most people will only think he/she are cheating their partner.

why not telling yr partner? all i can think of is
1. he/she found this new friend from chatroom, where most people dont feel comfortable to know yr partner had a new found friend there and meet up alone.

2. if this new found friend from chatroom are of opposite gender. i dont think the partner will agree to let him/her to attend the meetup alone. tat why was not informed and the meet up is secretive.

"perhap,they wanna try their luck with the "new" friend."
yup... to me, there must be something to hide from their partner.

 

[MasterBee]

if to meet some new found friend of the same gender... it a simple issue.
to informed or not, not a big issue

but if were to meet a new found friend of the opposite gender and not telling your partner. most people will only think he/she are cheating their partner.

why not telling your partner? all i can think of is
1. he/she found this new friend from chatroom, where most people dont feel comfortable to know your partner had a new found friend there and meet up alone.

2. if this new found friend from chatroom are of opposite gender. i dont think the partner will agree to let him/her to attend the meetup alone. that why was not informed and the meet up is secretive.

"perhap,they wanna try their luck with the "new" friend."
yup... to me, there must be something to hide from their partner.

This is outright INFIDELITY !!!!

I definitely wont allow my partner chatting with guy in the chatroom less to say allowing her to meet them up. if she go behind my back and i found out about this... there wont be any explaination needed even how pure the meet up is...

reason is simple..
1. chatting with unknow guy from chatroom = NO
2. meeting up with unknow guy from chatroom with my knowledge = NO X 1000
3. meeting up with unknow guy from chatroom without my knowlege = NO x1000000 + BREAKOFF

i believe woman will do the same if they found out their guy go behind their back...

 

[Aries2Boy]

This is outright INFIDELITY !!!!

I definitely wont allow my partner chatting with guy in the chatroom less to say allowing her to meet them up. if she go behind my back and i found out about this... there wont be any explaination needed even how pure the meet up is...

reason is simple..
1. chatting with unknow guy from chatroom = NO
2. meeting up with unknow guy from chatroom with my knowledge = NO X 1000
3. meeting up with unknow guy from chatroom without my knowlege = NO x1000000 + BREAKOFF

i believe woman will do the same if they found out their guy go behind their back...

if i found out my other half did any of the above....
there no need for any explaination ...
I will say to her this :
YOU CAN GO LIVE WITH YOUR NEW FOUND FRIEND, DONT YOU EVER COME BACK TO ME ! ! !

 

[Ting]

hmmm so what u guys r tryin to say is IF she knows him from a chatroom is a nono.
so it is ok if she knows him outside? or thru a mutual fren?
say in your presence?
meaning, it is a grp outing/ gathering,then get to know him, u r fine?
what abt if u know him?
say EG, committee frens, sports grp, church grp etc.
but say, u r not close to tt guy, only hi-bye fren, but he is closer to your gf, eg, will sms sometimes, meet ups for meals BEFORE u n your gf got tgt, so after u guys got tgt, can she continue????

and if she continues, will u say its cheating/infidelity??

 

[MasterBee]

hmmm so what you guys are tryin to say is IF she knows him from a chatroom is a nono.
so it is ok if she knows him outside? or thru a mutual friend?
say in your presence?
meaning, it is a grp outing/ gathering,then get to know him, you are fine?
what about if you know him?
say EG, committee friends, sports grp, church grp etc.
but say, you are not close to that guy, only hi-bye friend, but he is closer to your gf, eg, will sms sometimes, meet ups for meals BEFORE you n your gf got together, so after you guys got together, can she continue????

and if she continues, will you say its cheating/infidelity??

if your guy chat with some woman without your knowledge and hide away from you... are you ok with it?

if she know him outside thru a mutual friend and in my presence. i'm ok with it.

if he know my gf before me.. at times a friendly "halo how are you?" sms to her, i am fine with it as long she let me know and not those secretive hiding behaviour. eg delete all his sms after reading. if she is clear and pure with this friendship and i am made aware of this friendship. i'm fine with it to a certain extend. should not be keep meeting up this guy friend alone. what if we guy do the same? will the woman accept it?

if she insist to continue even i told her not too...
then i can say she is cheating/infidelity... cos she is seeing him at the expense of our relationship.

 

[Ting]

if your guy chat with some woman without your knowledge and hide away from you... are you ok with it?

if she know him outside thru a mutual friend and in my presence. i'm ok with it.

if he know my gf before me.. at times a friendly "halo how are you?" sms to her, i am fine with it as long she let me know and not those secretive hiding behaviour. eg delete all his sms after reading. if she is clear and pure with this friendship and i am made aware of this friendship. i'm fine with it to a certain extend. should not be keep meeting up this guy friend alone. what if we guy do the same? will the woman accept it?

if she insist to continue even i told her not too...
then i can say she is cheating/infidelity... cos she is seeing him at the expense of our relationship.

first things first, nah, my bf, will nvr do it.
hmm,what if some guy who likes her msg her n she ignore... she del the msg but nvr inform, in case u guys get over sensitive.
r u able to accept it then?
as in, this guy keep msging her, though she ignored after u inform her to, n she alr inform him but he still keep pestering, so she decide to just ignore n del to avoid any more misunderstandings.

 

[Ting]

but wont it be tiring if u need to report every single thing to each other?
if your gf is very pretty n popular, so like many guys keep texting her, though she ignores, then she still hv to report to u every single sms or phone call?

 

[MasterBee]

but wont it be tiring if you need to report every single thing to each other?
if your gf is very pretty n popular, so like many guys keep texting her, though she ignores, then she still have to report to you every single sms or phone call?

if she is clear and honest... i believe she will tell. just like me. i show her my sms when friend and buddies sms me out for drink and makan.

if u say so (tiring)... den she go meet up with any guys she wants also no neet to report lah...
cos troublesome too...

den wen found out... just say everything must report meh...
just meet up friend mah... if just friend... why so secretive???

 

[diymummy]

I think there're too many scenarios to list them all out.

As a basic principle as long as a partner who's committed to you in a serious relationship and if one of the partners purposefully hides things from you, it's considered infidelity or unfaithfulness or cheating.

If the girl is popular and has many guy friends texting her, I think if she tells her bf that there are many guys who're texting her I think that's fine, not say need to report every name.

I feel it's also an issue of putting yourself in another person's shoes. If you're doing something, just think if what if your partner did the same, would it bother you? If it does, then you should better stop what you're doing and come clean. But of course different people have different stands on what bothers them or not. In such cases, I think if one party is found out, it's better that the relationship is ended since both are of different standing in principle.

 

[Ting]

if she is clear and honest... i believe she will tell. just like me. i show her my sms when friend and buddies sms me out for drink and makan.

if you say so (tiring)... then she go meet up with any guys she wants also no neet to report ...
cos troublesome too...

then wen found out... just say everything must report meh...
just meet up friend mah... if just friend... why so secretive???

telling is one thing.
for me, its a one off thing.
but if every now n then those guys keep texting me, i wont bother to tell my bf, unless i rmb abt it then mention to him.
he knows abt them, n tt i ignore, so it doesnt bother him.
to me, ultimately, its the trust n respect btw both parties.



n in some cases, just becos your gf report/inform/tell u doesnt mean she cant cheat on u.
they call it reverse psychology.

 

[Ting]

I think there're too many scenarios to list them all out.

As a basic principle as long as a partner who's committed to you in a serious relationship and if one of the partners purposefully hides things from you, it's considered infidelity or unfaithfulness or cheating.

If the girl is popular and has many guy friends texting her, I think if she tells her bf that there are many guys who're texting her I think that's fine, not say need to report every name.

I feel it's also an issue of putting yourself in another person's shoes. If you're doing something, just think if what if your partner did the same, would it bother you? If it does, then you should better stop what you're doing and come clean. But of course different people have different stands on what bothers them or not. In such cases, I think if one party is found out, it's better that the relationship is ended since both are of different standing in principle.

well, diy mummy, some guys r very contradicting.
they cannot stand their gf having so many guys after her cos she is pretty n popular, but yet in the beginning, it was the exact same reason why he went after her!

 

[Aries2Boy]

I think there're too many scenarios to list them all out.

As a basic principle as long as a partner who's committed to you in a serious relationship and if one of the partners purposefully hides things from you, it's considered infidelity or unfaithfulness or cheating.

If the girl is popular and has many guy friends texting her, I think if she tells her bf that there are many guys who're texting her I think that's fine, not say need to report every name.

I feel it's also an issue of putting yourself in another person's shoes. If you're doing something, just think if what if your partner did the same, would it bother you? If it does, then you should better stop what you're doing and come clean. But of course different people have different stands on what bothers them or not. In such cases, I think if one party is found out, it's better that the relationship is ended since both are of different standing in principle.

i totally agree with diymummy.

what i hate most is this common excuses when being caught.

"it just a simple friend and nothing else"
if it just a simple friend, why dont come clean? because she will know guy cannot accept their gal meet up other guy especially they are from chatroom or internet. and yet she go along with the meet up knowingly her guy will not allow. for sure behaviour... to me it is still infidelity...

"i need more friend"
yup eveyone need more friend... but why must be friend of the oppoiste gender from the chatroom or internet?

maybe to some ladies here, you will think we are Male Chauvinist Pxx....
if i happen to found out mine been looking for men in the chatroom... it game over for both of us...

 

[masayuki]

There is a limit in everything.
I take infidelity as starting from the thought of cheating.

Some guys are real A-holes. They restrict their partners from having a social life because they themselves don't have one!

Some guys are so insecure and overly sensitive that they suspect everything that goes on, putting a lot of strain on the relationship, giving the girl a lot of stress and pressure.

In marriage, I believe that you must be accountable to your partner in all things.
For dating couples, I believe that if you're not mature enough to handle a relationship or even the harsh realities of life, then don't even enter into a relationship at all....

 

[Aries2Boy]

There is a limit in everything.
I take infidelity as starting from the thought of cheating.

Some guys are real A-holes. They restrict their partners from having a social life because they themselves dont't have one!

Some guys are so insecure and overly sensitive that they suspect everything that goes on, putting a lot of strain on the relationship, giving the girl a lot of stress and pressure.

In marriage, I believe that you must be accountable to your partner in all things.
For dating couples, I believe that if you're not mature enough to handle a relationship or even the harsh realities of life, then dont't even enter into a relationship at all....

what happen if one gf or wife keep going out to meet guys that she get to know from chatroom and internet knowingly u did not approve such meet up.
is this guy wrong in restricting his gf/wife into meeting other guy?
or this guy should be call a-hole?

 

[Ting]

There is a limit in everything.
I take infidelity as starting from the thought of cheating.

Some guys are real A-holes. They restrict their partners from having a social life because they themselves dont't have one!

Some guys are so insecure and overly sensitive that they suspect everything that goes on, putting a lot of strain on the relationship, giving the girl a lot of stress and pressure.

In marriage, I believe that you must be accountable to your partner in all things.
For dating couples, I believe that if you're not mature enough to handle a relationship or even the harsh realities of life, then dont't even enter into a relationship at all....

i totally AGREE with u!
i hv many gfs who cant stand guys who do that!!
my ex bfs r like tt as well. but in this case, they TRY to control me, but end up, its good bye to them.
whats wrong with making more frens??
being sociable is WRONG!?
why cant SOME guys get it tt some ppl JUST LOVE TO MAKE NEW FRIENDS.
n why cant be the opposite sex? why must be GIRLS only?

 

[Ting]

what happen if one gf or wife keep going out to meet guys that she get to know from chatroom and internet knowingly you did not approve such meet up.
is this guy wrong in restricting his gf/wife into meeting other guy?
or this guy should be call a-hole?

just very curious, your wife/gf does/did that to u isit?
if not, why u keep harping in this chat up with guys on internet crap? not just here, but in other threads as well.
nowadays, ppl seldom go to chatroom to know ppl alr laa~
hello, new era, such thing call FACEBOOK.
n ppl nowadays go clubs n such to know ppl.
chatrooms r like what? 10 years ago thingy?

seriously, if your gf cheat on u, just DUMP her. issue SOLVED.

 

[diymummy]

I know some of my gal friends who loves to make new friends. It's their character and they're very outgoing. I think it's nothing wrong with that.

I feel that when two people are together there must be a common understanding of principles and character and habits. If the guy is the insecure type and don't really have a social life, and feels therefore that his gf should also be always staying with him then if he so chooses to have one who happens to be outgoing, then there will be a clash and conflict and a possibility of misunderstanding of infidelity.

That's why I feel if two people cannot come into consensus about their social life, then it's better that they not remain together.