Is 11 days too long to be separated for mother and son?

[shulyn]

Hi Mummies,

Im in dilemma cos am going to accompany my hubby to china for his work and the mother is following too as she also need to bring stocks from there.
Hubby been in his business for the past 8 years and i have never follow him to china due to various reasons and finally now i get the chance to go and i dont feel happy at all...I hate to be separated from my hubby again as he just came back from china not long ago (25.03.10) and now he needed to go there urgently to source for new supplier.
I longed to go but didnt expect its such a long trip (11days), im so worried my son will be sad if im not around. I really dont know how to make myself happy...My mum and myself is the main caregiver for dear son and every night i will be with him to make him sleep and play with him in the day before i bring him to my mum around 12pm...Last month i went to KL for 3 days (dear son is 14mths), my mum say she did not dare to tell me if not she is sure i wont want to go travelling anymore. She say dear son keep calling out mama...
Im feeling so sad now cos i felt the timing isnt right as he gets to know the surrounding, dear son is responsive towards everything and he is sure to feel sad that how come the mummy is not there...
I told my families and hubby and they dont understand the mother's instinct. Comes to travelling i always follow him if i can but this time round i cant seems to let go myself. I have never been separated with my boy for the past 15mths, will dear son still as close to me when im back? When my hubby is outstation i will always feel so sad, will dear son feels the same as me? Im so scared that he will feel the difference when im not around...

I really dont know how to make myself feel better to go ahead for the trip...

 

[diymummy]

How abt bring your mum and your son over to china as well?? If it's a big city like Shanghai or Beijing, I'm sure your mum and son will be able to have fun there and you guys can go out over the weekend.

But if that's not possible, 11 days is ok laa.. I feel your son will still remember you. I think spending time apart may not all be a bad thing. It also teaches your son that mummy will definitely come back to me.

 

[shulyn]

How about bring your mum and your son over to china as well?? If it's a big city like Shanghai or Beijing, I'm sure your mum and son will be able to have fun there and you guys can go out over the weekend.
Diymummy, i really thought of this but i think my hubby wont allow...we going Guangzhou, all the places we going is too crowded and hubby got important task as he need to find a new supplier when he's back...
But if that's not possible, 11 days is ok laa.. I feel your son will still remember you. I think spending time apart may not all be a bad thing. It also teaches your son that mummy will definitely come back to me.

The thought of being separated with him is so tough...If its 5-7 days i think i wont feel sad but now im leaving him for 11 days....Treston is very close to me and im also too ''sticky'' to him

 

[apollo]

babe, is it possible to bring along ur son?

if u really intend to leave him in SG, i think shdnt be a big pro too. cos lik wat u said, u n ur mum are the main caregiver. u're not leaving ur son with someone who dont know hw to handle him, or someone who he is unfamiliar with. so i think shd be okay. but the 1st 2-3 days ur mum might be abit 'xin ku' cos ur son more or less will miss u =)

 

[hakisumi]

babe, is it possible to bring along your son?

if you really intend to leave him in SG, i think shdnt be a big pro too. cos lik what you said, you n your mum are the main caregiver. you're not leaving your son with someone who dont know hw to handle him, or someone who he is unfamiliar with. so i think should be okay. but the 1st 2-3 days your mum might be abit 'xin ku' cos your son more or less will miss you =)

Hmmm..ur son won't forget u 1.. Dun worry.. If u go,ask ur mum show him ur picture..
If I were u, 2 choice,1 is I won't go..cos sekali my son is adapting well but I m not in china..
2 is go but maybe 5 days take it as a break or jus acc hubby..
3 is totally dun go,if now u think 11 days is tough n counting..e moment u board plane I think u wanna cum bk..

If my mum or mil is willing to tk care of ham for night time..I would be more than grateful,cz can take a break.. If only... My this if will gotta wait a few more years...

 

[Ting]

shulyn, if possible, bring treston along.
if not, dun go along with your hubby.
11 days pass very fast while u r waiting for your hubby, but 11 days for your son, will feel very long.. cos he is still very young.
for me, i wont go, unless it is a short trip of less than a week (arnd 4-5 days max).

 

[SH74]

some mothers can b separated w their children for 11 days. some 1 day also cannot. if u really cant do it, will feel miserable n worried when u r in overseas, den bring ur child along lor. he's alr 1 yr old, rite? wont b too diffi to take care of him. moreover u r not gg to a 3rd world country.

 

[cn211279]

I think it is really up to the individual. My husband also went to Europe in March for business and asked me to go along for 2 weeks. Initially I felt hesitant in going because I'm worried that my son (then also 14 mths old) will miss me as I (and my mum) are the main caregivers. And my son will only sleep at night if I accompany him to sleep.
However, I think I end up missing him more than he miss me. He had a great time at my mum's place because there are lot of people to play with him (ie his grandfather, aunt and uncles). My mum said that the first 2-3 nights were a bit difficult because he looked for me, but they brought him around in a car and he fell asleep in the car. After 2 nights, he got used to it already and had no problem sleeping with my mum.
And he won't forget you. I remember seeing my son at the airport when I arrive, he is so excited when he saw me that he keep asking my mum to "open" the glass panel thinking it is a door.
But of course it really depends on your baby's relationship with your mum and how you feel. Because I really missed my son when I was overseas, so much so that my husband laughed at me.....