MIL tell me to leave my son overnight @ her place

[apollo]

yup orleng baobei, my parents who feed those kind that might cause allergy.
they r the ones who remind n tell me when then can feed pin those type of food.

ytd when my mum said aft 1yo wanna buy donut for ash, i told her DONT gif him peanut butter and amazingly, she 'scolded' me "who will feed a 1yo peanut butter?! dun say allergy, peanut/peanut butter very diffi to digest lehh!" waoliew, wanna remind her yuet i kanna say haha.. last time told them cannot feed honey below 1yo, she also say me, say she long ago noe alrdy.. HAHA! :tlaugh:so far only egg white she dun understand y cannot gif though i explained many x.... haha!!

 

[paperger85]

I just returned to the workforce and had my MIL look after my baby. Initially, she will wait for me to get home so that I can wipe my baby in the evening. Now, she keeps saying that baby very hot, must wipe earlier so by the time I reach home.

 

[kenxf_03]

I just returned to the workforce and had my mother in law look after my baby. Initially, she will wait for me to get home so that I can wipe my baby in the evening. Now, she keeps saying that baby very hot, must wipe earlier so by the time I reach home.

:tlaugh:

My MIL also did the wiping earlier b4 I reached home to pick my DS when I return to work.

She always said weather hot,must wipe earlier. And becos its hot, so when I got home, I nd to wipe him again. Tink she meant well also loh.

 

[Ting]

I just returned to the workforce and had my mother in law look after my baby. Initially, she will wait for me to get home so that I can wipe my baby in the evening. Now, she keeps saying that baby very hot, must wipe earlier so by the time I reach home.

hmmm whats wrong with your mil helping to wipe your kid?
i think its ok, weather is really very humid lately.
pin bathes at least 4-5 times on weekends.

 

[MyHappyKids]

yesterday when i went to pick up my son, it was raining, so i waited for awhile for the rain to stop so that i can bring my son home. fortunately it stopped after 15mins. but before the rain stopped, mother in law told me to let my son stay overnight at her place since, so i tel her, 'see how 1st , i tink the rain will stop soon'. (last monday heavy rain & we had no choice but to let my son stay overnight @ mother in law house). then she said ok, if rain stop then quickly go home.

then she started again by saying next time when my son is older, let him stay overnight at her place then we no need so troublesome everyday fetch him home. so, again i tel her ' no need, not troublesome at all' then she change story say we bring him home daily also good, can teach him at home -_-

actually i was quite fedup when she tel me to let my boy stay overnight , so when my husband reached home, i told him what his mum had said. & i asked him why she wants my boy to stay overnight at her place?( like trying to rob me of my precious time with my son). then my husband said cos his bro will also fetch his 2kids back to their own home, then at night no kids at his mum's place. anywae, i told my husband i will not let my son stay there unless is no choice like heavy rain(dont want him to fall sick) otherwise i will bring him home daily.

this make me even more want to let my son go full time childcare once he reach 18mths next year!

Will you like to have a doting inlaws or an inlaw who don't even care for your kid?

Remember that your kid is also her grandson. So what's wrong with her asking you to leave him there?

I just can't understand your mentality.

 

[Ting]

why are you so "protective" and "selfish"?
Will you like to have a doting inlaws or an inlaw who dont't even care for your kid?

Remember that your kid is also her grandson. So what's wrong with her asking you to leave him there?

I just can't understand your mentality. You are just being paranoid!

uhhh why is she selfish?? her MIL alr took care of her son the whole day while she works, so she just wanna spend some time with her OWN kid, whats wrong with that? which mother would wanna leave their kid overnight at other ppl's place IF they can bring them home daily to BOND with them? though pin is alr 3 yo, sometimes my sis bring her over to her place to stay over for a night, i wil also miss n dread it, not wanting her to go wat. it is normal to feel that way,no? and from TS's pov, if she start allowing her son to stay overnight at her in laws place for one night, it will become a daily thingy n she wont be able to be with her own son every night. so why is she being selfish by wanting to spend time with her own child? perhaps u r fine with leaving your child with your inlaws or parents the whole time, but not everyone is OK, cos as working parents, we would want to spend as much time as we can with our kids.

 

[apollo]

why are you so "protective" and "selfish"?
Will you like to have a doting inlaws or an inlaw who dont't even care for your kid?

Remember that your kid is also her grandson. So what's wrong with her asking you to leave him there?

I just can't understand your mentality. You are just being paranoid!

i dun think pkshl is being selfish and paranoid. if u ask me if i prefer an inlaw to be OVEERdoting my son or totally dont care, i will choose the latter..

grandson so what? grandparents so what? the MOTHER calls the shoot! pkshl is wking and during the office hours, she cant get to interact with her son at all, so what's wrong with her insisting to bring her son bk home every night? shee just wan to take care of her son on her own during the night time.

 

[rainbow1234]

Truthfully , i feel that my MIL do not care about my baby .
Think she carry her less than 5 times (baby now almost 6 month old), got once she "throw " my BB back to me as BB keep crying . :001_302:
Well , i prefer this way .....


I think TS feel that the MIL is overbearing so cannot tahan her ?

 

[pkshl]

why are you so "protective" and "selfish"?
Will you like to have a doting inlaws or an inlaw who dont't even care for your kid?

Remember that your kid is also her grandson. So what's wrong with her asking you to leave him there?

I just can't understand your mentality. You are just being paranoid!

im not being paranoid at all. whats wrong with bringing my son home daily?

when im working, i don't call my mil to check on my son at all, i give her the 'freedom' to be with my son without me calling & calling & asking this & that. Even when my son was sick, i also don't call my mil at all so that she can fully concentrate taking care of my sick son.

Now when i reach my inlaws place, my son comes to me & tell my inlaws BYE BYE !!!

 

[Phoebii Cheng]

Different pple have a different opinion on how they view things, pkshl, don't take it to heart.........

And I think it is a mother's right to want to bond with her own child. I too would want to have my own moments with my son.

I have colleagues who leave their child with their in laws too, cos' they feel tired after work to look after them. So it is up to individual.

I have friends who have maid to look after their child, but they too want to have private moments of bonding time, so that the child will not be too sticky with the maid.

 

[MyHappyKids]

Different pple have a different opinion on how they view things, pkshl, dont't take it to heart.........

And I think it is a mother's right to want to bond with her own child. I too would want to have my own moments with my son.

I have colleagues who leave their child with their in laws too, cos' they feel tired after work to look after them. So it is up to individual.

I have friends who have maid to look after their child, but they too want to have private moments of bonding time, so that the child will not be too sticky with the maid.

It's your inlaws we are talking about, not maid or neighbor!
I didn't mean leaving the kids to inlaws everyday or everynight.
If your kids want to stay with inlaws once a while, what's wrong with that?

You have to remember that one day you will be inlaws to your children. I believe that you only mean well when you propose to let your grandson to stay there overnight. Am I wrong?

My kids will go to my inlaws home after school. If my kids want to stay there over weekend, I will ask them to consult my inlaws to get her agreement.

Well, 1st of all you must have a inlaws you are comfortable with and believe that your kids are in safe hands. Please do not have the mentality that they are here to snatch your kids.

 

[Ting]

uhhhh, did u even read her post properly? her mil suggested to let her son stay EVERYNIGHT, meaning, mon-fri whole day stay with at her place n only bring her son back on weekends.
as a WORKING MOTHER, im sure we alr hv very little time with our kids, by the time we end work, its alr 6, then most kids slp at 9pm (on average, some earlier) so meaning we only hv arnd an 1 hr to bond with the kid, minus-ing the travelling time n washing up etc, so of cos we want to CHERISH the time we hv.
n TS son is very young now, best time to bond n keep a close connection with her son is NOW, so that her son will still be close to her.
well, ULTIMATELY, kid belongs pkshl, she wants to bring her son home everyday, why not? it is HER SON. so what if tt is her inlaws? inlaws. maid or neighbour, all also not the kid's mother.
well, if your kids prefer to stay with your inlaws rather than u over the weekend, then it is your kid's choice n preference. but now, TS son is still too young to make tt choice, n im sure TS would prefer her son not to prefer staying with her in law but close with her at home.

 

[apollo]

i think to pkshl, she not only wants to bond with her OWN child every night, and she also feels that it is HER responsibilty to take care of HER OWN child aft wk.. why I know? cause i'm sure every responsible mothers will feel this way.. who will leave their kids with inlaws overnight almost every night or frequently???

if u ask me, sry i will not leave ds with my inlaws, esp every night. not only me, my hubby also wont do that cos we wants to slp with him, bond with him. even sometimes my mum doesnt nd to wk the next day, we also dun bear to let ds slps with her though we stay under one roof..

 

[Ting]

yup, apollo baobao, u r right, it is not whether the in law is doting on us or not, it is our responsibilty no matter what the weather is like or how tired we are. doesnt mean in law dote us, or we v tired, we can shirk our responsibilities n just leave them at our in laws place just for convenience sake.

 

[MyHappyKids]

uhhhh, did you even read her post properly? her mother in law suggested to let her son stay EVERYNIGHT, meaning, mon-fri whole day stay with at her place n only bring her son back on weekends.
as a WORKING MOTHER, im sure we already have very little time with our kids, by the time we end work, its already 6, then most kids sleep at 9pm (on average, some earlier) so meaning we only have arnd an 1 hr to bond with the kid, minus-ing the travelling time n washing up etc, so of cos we want to CHERISH the time we have.
n TS son is very young now, best time to bond n keep a close connection with her son is NOW, so that her son will still be close to her.
well, ULTIMATELY, kid belongs pkshl, she wants to bring her son home everyday, why not? it is HER SON. so what if that is her inlaws? inlaws. maid or neighbour, all also not the kid's mother.
well, if your kids prefer to stay with your inlaws rather than you over the weekend, then it is your kid's choice n preference. but now, TS son is still too young to make that choice, n im sure TS would prefer her son not to prefer staying with her in law but close with her at home.

It says in her original msg it's "no need to everday bring kid back".
It doesn't necessarily mean requesting kid to stay "everynight".

Also as a parents, whatever we do we have to think our decision if it does benefit the kid instead of just trying to make up of our own maternity love.
If it rain or you work late, does it mean you must be hook or crock bring the kid back? won't it be better for the kid to stay behind with inlaws?

As kids grow up, let them express themselves. If they want to stay, let them. If young, then if possible it's best to bring back home subject to condition that benefits the kid.

we have different views but it doesn't necessariy mean I am always right.
I will rest my case with this post.

 

[swee]

MyhappyKids,

I think I will also kena bash but I agree with you... Nothing wrong with leaving kids with grandparents...

a couple of my colleagues are dying to have their kids stay over at their inlaws or parents house once in a while so that they can enjoy some "er ren shi jie"... But sadly their case is completely opposite.. Nobody is willing to take care of the kids overnight as they have their own comittement..

They have no choice but to bring their sons back everyday.. even if want to go on holiday also must think 10 times on how to beg their parent to take over the kids before they can book their holiday...

Inlaws are not there to snatch our kids away.. they love them just as much as we do...

It says in her original msg it's "no need to everday bring kid back".
It doesn't necessarily mean requesting kid to stay "everynight".

Also as a parents, whatever we do we have to think our decision if it does benefit the kid instead of just trying to make up of our own maternity love.
If it rain or you work late, does it mean you must be hook or crock bring the kid back? won't it be better for the kid to stay behind with inlaws?

As kids grow up, let them express themselves. If they want to stay, let them. If young, then if possible it's best to bring back home subject to condition that benefits the kid.

we have different views but it doesn't necessariy mean I am always right.
I will rest my case with this post.

 

[apollo]

MyHappyKids & swee..

pardon me, but i feel that ur didnt get what the TS means.. she has told her mil that it is okay for her to tc her kid at night and kind of reject her offer. But her mil will ask the same qns quite frequently?

swee, of cos, when a couple nd some time alone, asking parents/inlaws to help out is ok as long as they are willing to help. but it depends on situation also right? if u encounter same situation lik the TS, ur mil likes to ask and persuade u to leave ur kid to stay over her place which u dont wish to and she still ask frequently, will u feel frustrated? i think tt's why she started this thread to 'vent' her frustration, not becos she dun appreciates her mil.

 

[Ting]

It says in her original msg it's "no need to everday bring kid back".
It doesn't necessarily mean requesting kid to stay "everynight".

Also as a parents, whatever we do we have to think our decision if it does benefit the kid instead of just trying to make up of our own maternity love.
If it rain or you work late, does it mean you must be hook or crock bring the kid back? won't it be better for the kid to stay behind with inlaws?

As kids grow up, let them express themselves. If they want to stay, let them. If young, then if possible it's best to bring back home subject to condition that benefits the kid.

we have different views but it doesn't necessariy mean I am always right.
I will rest my case with this post.

but that was what her MIL meant, to not bring her kid home daily, if u hv been following all her posts.
well, like u mention, we hv diff views n since TS wants to bring her kid back daily, then i dun see a need to say that she is being paranoid n selfish, bcos she is not. IF u hv been following her threads, u will surely understand why she is feeling that way. like mention, kid is hers, however she feels is BEST for herself n her kid, is i believe the best for both of them.

 

[Ting]

MyhappyKids,

I think I will also kena bash but I agree with you... Nothing wrong with leaving kids with grandparents...

a couple of my colleagues are dying to have their kids stay over at their inlaws or parents house once in a while so that they can enjoy some "er ren shi jie"... But sadly their case is completely opposite.. Nobody is willing to take care of the kids overnight as they have their own comittement..

They have no choice but to bring their sons back everyday.. even if want to go on holiday also must think 10 times on how to beg their parent to take over the kids before they can book their holiday...

Inlaws are not there to snatch our kids away.. they love them just as much as we do...

well, from the moment u decided to hv kids, u shld forgo that er ren shi jie thinking alr. if your in laws help u with your kids IF u want to hv couple time, good, its a bonus, but if they refuse to, then too bad, it all comes in a package, cant hv the best of both worlds. n like u mention, everyone hv their own commitments, in laws or parents r not obligated to help.

 

[Gelyn]

I also prefer to bring my kid back every night than to just bring back on weekend only. Not becos my PIL are no good but I feel that even with maids, they also need to rest. No joke taking care of kid especially a few kids somemore for one whole day. But some people just don't think it that way.

I agree that if PIL or parents agreed to help, it's a bonus. Cos they are not oblige to help anyway...afterall, they had already taken care of their own children till grown up. It's also fair enough that they have their own time doing their own things. But I also realized that some DILs expect her in-laws to help to take care of her kids in furture and complained when the in-laws rejected to. Guess people tend to take things for granted.