My ex bf is getting married and I'm upset???

[jojoki]

For some stupid and unknown reason, My ex bf whom I havent met for the past 9 years is getting married. I am happy for him, we kept in contact as good friends. But I don't know why I am at the same time a little upset.

I don't spend time reminiscing about our relationship but ever since he told me he's getting married end of this year I realise I am reminiscing about the good times we had and how happy I was when I was with him... sigh!!

I wonder why I am feeling like dat....

 

[apollo]

hmmm... i shd this shd be 得不到的永远都是最好的... afterall u used to loved him, and perhaps the news came too sudden...

 

[jojoki]

eee i cant read mandarin can translate..?

 

[tinkerball]

For some stupid and unknown reason, My ex bf whom I havent met for the past 9 years is getting married. I am happy for him, we kept in contact as good friends. But I dont't know why I am at the same time a little upset.

I dont't spend time reminiscing about our relationship but ever since he told me he's getting married end of this year I realise I am reminiscing about the good times we had and how happy I was when I was with him... sigh!!

I wonder why I am feeling like dat....

actually u are not alone. i attended my ex's wedding two weeks ago and for some reason i felt kinda funny. i cant describe how it feels. maybe upset, maybe happy.. its all mixed up. i actually began to wonder wether he felt the same way when he came to my wedding three years ago. like u we still kept in touch since we broke up in 2001. we still remain very gd frens and in fact we exchange sms chat just a while ago. we get our flats from the same property agent and he asked me if i want to help paint his flat:err: and offered to help me when i get my flat in May. we are still close in a way yet so distant.

 

[jojoki]

but i dont think i can attend his wedding, erm thank goodness in a way.. he's korean n his wedding will be held in korea although he did invite me..

 

[apollo]

eee i cant read mandarin can translate..?

hmm.. i dun really hw to explain the exact meaning in english but it is somehow lik: the thing u cant get is always the best...

dun say ex bf, even the guy i had a crash long ago, i felt super 'OMG' when i noe he had a gf, and was preparing for wedding.. let and tinkerball encounter one were ex bf!

 

[meiteoh]

Well, these are the people you were once in love with and felt strongly about - so I'd say that it's quite normal to feel a bit weirded out by the whole thing BUT don't dwell on it otherwise your hubby may feel a little irritated by how/what you're feeling.

One of the reasons why I don't really keep in touch with my exes even though I broke off amicably with some of them is out of respect for my hubby. I don't want to ever give him a reason to doubt me or my feelings for him. It only takes a grain of sand to start tearing so why take the risk?

Besides, a break-up is just that, a break-up so I sever virtually all ties. It just makes things easier especially if things were rough. My previous ex would bring up the past when we chat (for a few minutes over MSN) and the last incident was just before I got married. While I was dating my hubby, he would dwell on it over and over again. It made me wonder - has he really learnt to let go of the past or what?

With the others whom I'm close to, we do keep in touch but not very closely and not to the point of inviting each other to weddings and so forth. My hubby knows my past - ALL of it - and I don't want my past sitting in an event that will set the stage for my future. Let sleeping dogs lie, that sort of thing, you know. And my ex understood why I didn't invite him and even he mentioned that if I had, he wouldn't have come out of respect for my hubby coz he knows how ackward it would have felt.

So really, congratulate him and shove all those memories out. You have a new life without him in it now so don't dwell. The past is not meant for you to live in.

 

[stonston]

It's quite normal if the guy meant alot to you at some point of time.
My ex still single and available and I still keep in contact with him.
When he attended my wedding, he hid in the toilet to cry (as told to me by my brother).
When he attended my son's full month, he actually broke down when he carried my boy (he later emailed me to say that he did that because that boy he was carrying could be his son if he was nicer to me last time). Bah. I don't care, all in the past already!
I'm happy with my hb, my boy and my current life.

Remember the happy memories but don't pine to go back to it will do
It's ok to feel weird, after all, you were once close to that person!
Just be happy for him and move on. You already have your happy family No need to look back

 

[jojoki]

eeee i cant stand man who cry leh.......... gosh! haha... maybe if my hubby treats me well I wouldnt be feeling like dat...

When I told him I was gonna get married 4 years back he was in disbelief... if only we were not separated by distant back then... he was like the best bf i ever had!!! he made me laugh!! he was terrific in bed .. LOL!!!! he was easy going n all my friends loves him.

yup only memories now!!

 

[jojoki]

Besides, a break-up is just that, a break-up so I sever virtually all ties. It just makes things easier especially if things were rough. My previous ex would bring up the past when we chat (for a few minutes over MSN) and the last incident was just before I got married. While I was dating my hubby, he would dwell on it over and over again. It made me wonder - has he really learnt to let go of the past or what?
.

i cannot leh? i mean we broke off nicely so how to sever all ties? like very chuet ching! i still am in very good friends with most of my ex except fr some bastards that i dated briefly in my younger days!

 

[meiteoh]

If you both can handle it like adults, then it's okay. I still keep in touch with some of my exes but we are not that close until every night go out for dinner together one-on-one, chit chat over the phone for long hours and so forth. We would when I was single but after I started dating my hubby, I limit it to occasional chats and group meets coz my relationship with my hubby then was LDR and I didn't want him to have any reason to doubt me even though he said he was okay with it.

My previous ex and I didn't have a good break up, and he couldn't let go of the past even after I got married and especially while I was dating my hubby. On top of that, he can be quite insensitive.

When I try to talk to him, he'd give me one-word replies. Then say he's busy and etc. So after a while I stopped talking to him. Few months later, out of the blue, he'll message me and go "I'm sorry I was such a lousy lover coz hardly give you BJ". And that time, I was already dating my hubby. WTH.

Then when he had an interview with my company, he was very chatty and so forth. Totally different from when he doesn't need anything from me. Then no news again - he didn't get the job and partly coz he told the interviewer (my colleague) that he was my ex (!!!). When I moved to Switzerland after my marriage, he was went "I'm so relieved to see you go coz I always felt that you and me in the same city like KL is too close for comfort". Piang wei.

Aiiii, you want to keep in touch with people like that? How leh?

 

[eissacsirhc]

I tink its juz a passing feeling..
At 1st when I found out my ex was dating again, I was also kinda upset.. but i guess its juz becuz.. part of us secretly hope tat our ex is still hopelessly pining for us.. hahaha..

 

[thepinkdot]

i attended my ex's wedding a few yrs ago.. he got married after a yr that i did.. it was weird.. esp the looks i was given by his relatives.. on hindsight, shouldn't have attended it. LOL!

 

[Ting]

i'm same with meiteoh, i break off all contact n ties with my ex bfs.
only a few r like hi-bye frens.
n also bcos they r like, pestering me for a patch up so i got annoyed n ignored them.

one of my ex bf, he was quite a nice guy when we were tgt. we hit off quite well as frens n then dated for a while. he was nice to pin too. but then somehow, we broke off, feelings fade bahs i guess.. he took it pretty bad lahs, i still try to be frens with him, but one fine day he suddenly MIA n didnt talk to me, so i just take it as tt lorr.
then another fine day, he told me he FINALLY got over me but he still loves me.. but then horr, after 2 mths, he got a new gf alr lorr. tt time i was single, n had quite a few guys after me, so i dun bother abt him.. haha, i was a bit surprised i hv to admit, cos he say til he loved me til he can die those kind, after we break up, he was drowning in alcohol til his frens asked me to talk to him... but then, tts just it.. i move on with my life, n finally i got tgt with my current bf..
BUT he, having been with his gf, he still ask me DO I STILL HV FEELINGS FOR HIM? cos he still feel for me.. im like NO, i only love my current bf, if not i would be single/be with him...then he start saying things like, u sure u wanna wait for your bf to finish studies in aust, bla bla like tryin to tell me its not worth it n all. i just told him, yes we r alr plannin to marry, n no worries cos he is a great, n the best guy i ever met.
well, not long back, my ex n his gf broke up (think 2mths ago?) then he come n talk to me, n i told him, actually one of my fren knew his gf n told me long ago she was an easy girl..then he KINDA blame me, cos he say i SHLD hv told him b4 hand... crazy right? not my prob wat.... aiyah, damn BS lahs, he talk so much, say his tt gf is how bad how bad, then now? got a new gf again...-.-" this time i dun bother to even talk to him anymore.


tts why i break off all ties with ex bfs, some simply think, they "own" u once, so u macham belong to them forever. (i had an ex who keep tryin to sabotage my relationship with other guys.... cos he was jealous n cant accept we broke up.)

for me, i just felt no reason to stay in contact. n i know my current bf dont like it, so i also dun do it.
im more to the 拿得起，放的下 kinda person.
i dun reminisce the old n nice memories with my ex. cos im creating new ones with my current bf.

 

[jojoki]

I tink its just a passing feeling..
At 1st when I found out my ex was dating again, I was also kinda upset.. but i guess its just becuz.. part of us secretly hope that our ex is still hopelessly pining for us.. hahaha..

muahhaah i cant agree more with u!

 

[jojoki]

When I try to talk to him, he'd give me one-word replies. Then say he's busy and etc. So after a while I stopped talking to him. Few months later, out of the blue, he'll message me and go "I'm sorry I was such a lousy lover coz hardly give you BJ". And that time, I was already dating my hubby. WTH.


Aiiii, you want to keep in touch with people like that? How ?

hahah ur ex is sick l!!! muahahha.. i dont see my ex la... we just chat on msn sometimes.. i have only two ex which I had a hard time letting go because being with them then was the best time of my life... the one who is gettin married is a korean who used to live in msia when we dated for 4 years. He's been living back in korea ever since... and the other is a Hong Konger who lives in here...

At one point I was tempted to "curi makan" with my ex in sg.. but I din due to fear of God's wrath!!! and honestly I feel that if I ever cheat on my hubby I dun think the marriage will last. Now that I have a child I am even more careful with what I do lest my daughter follows my footstep... what goes around comes around.

 

[Renzie]

I only keep in touch with a couple of my exes, but usually catch up when there's mutual friends around and would usually bring our other halves with us.

Hubby dont even bother about them. I'm quite close to 1 of my exes, but I guessed its because we had thrash things out sometime after we broke up as we had the same bunch of close friends. Both of us are married to our respective partners, though not as close as before, but I guess its due to the respect we give to each other's halves, don;t wish to make them feel awkward also.

But I had an ex who was dating another gal and aware that I was involved in another relationship, still die die want to ask me out and ask me to go on trips, saying that he has been waiting for me....its so weird! His excuse for getting involved with another gal was that she kept pestering him..........

When I heard that my previous ex is getting together with another gal, I felt pretty awkward and weird. haha dont know why. And the last time we talk online, he had intiated it, later on then I found out its because he's interested in one of my good friends. And it'll be weird if they got together and he and I just ignore each other. So i guessed that he is trying to be friends again, subsequently, he got together with another gal, and so back to strangers stage again. haha.

 

[jojoki]

my hubs also cant be bothered with me contacting ex... but he did ever tell me " Dun ever let me catch u "eating out"i wil chop u up! " Like real la... but my hubs also noes that I am not those type who will eat out..

 

[alanpoh06]

I also... my ex ask me to attend her wedding. I mean... WTF? my wedding also never asked her lo. I immediately rejected her. Though we have break off for almost 8 years but i still sad. Why??? Because i know deep down i still love her. So why should i attend and feel awkward later... better to meetup with her after wedding lo. haha

 

[Stan]

I tink its just a passing feeling..
At 1st when I found out my ex was dating again, I was also kinda upset.. but i guess its just becuz.. part of us secretly hope that our ex is still hopelessly pining for us.. hahaha..

Yes...hoping that they havnt move on while we already did.... ahahahahaha