My husband is having an affair

[MangoApple]

we had been married for 6mths. but these 6mths & before, we are not happy. always quarrelling. he confessed that he's seeing this gal for more than a year even before we got married. i begged him to stopped seeing her. i asked him why he treats me like that, he said he has no more feelings for me. he even invited this gal to our wedding. now, weekends, he spend the night outside with her. i asked him where he go, he said he went hotel with her. im very sad & at a loss on what to do. i asked my parents & inlaws for help, they talked to my husband but he doesn't know how to deal with this problem. my friends have told me to give him up but I told him I do not want a divorce as I love him alot & cannot let him go. I even call & confronted the gal, she said she will not leave him as my husband had promised her to divorce me. I asked him did he say that, he keep quiet. to me, silence means is true...what should i do?.....

 

[edy]

Divorce and ask for alimony.

It seems like your husband has made up his mind and the longer this thing going ... it is gonna hurt you more.

Learn to let go when it is the time to let go.

There are better man out there.

 

[stonston]

Gather evidence, get recordings of his confession.

 

[Phoebii Cheng]

How come you did not find out that he is seeing the girl bf you were married?

Hmm yeah I agree with Admin-Ed, divorce him, I mean he is married to you barely a year and he got the cheek to tell you he go hotel with her.....and he had been seeing her for over the past one year even before you both were married?

But if you really love him and cannot let go, ask yourself this question, are you willing to give him a chance to start over? If answer is yes, then I think both of you need to talk to a marriage counsellor

Learn to step back and see the situation don't dwell too much into your emotions, sometimes emotions makes pple unhappy

 

[spsr06]

we had been married for 6mths. but these 6mths & before, we are not happy. always quarrelling. he confessed that he's seeing this gal for more than a year even before we got married. i begged him to stopped seeing her. i asked him why he treats me like that, he said he has no more feelings for me. he even invited this gal to our wedding. now, weekends, he spend the night outside with her. i asked him where he go, he said he went hotel with her. im very sad & at a loss on what to do. i asked my parents & inlaws for help, they talked to my husband but he doesn't know how to deal with this problem. my friends have told me to give him up but I told him I do not want a divorce as I love him alot & cannot let him go. I even call & confronted the gal, she said she will not leave him as my husband had promised her to divorce me. I asked him did he say that, he keep quiet. to me, silence means is true...what should i do?.....

hi mangoapple,y did u choose to marry him? as u aldy know he has a gal outside even before marriage.pls leave him. do it for yourself.he has aldy said he has no feelings for u so y hold on even if u still love him? u will be the one suffering not him.the gal will get her retrubuition.

 

[sharonyi66]

Can file for Nullity instead of Divorce since is less then 1 year??

 

[MangoApple]

I am willing to give him a chance to start over, but he does not want to. I asked him to go with me to see marriage counsellor but he refused! I do not want to get a divorce. my parents told me to wait, they believe he will come back to me.

 

[sharonyi66]

I am willing to give him a chance to start over, but he does not want to. I asked him to go with me to see marriage counsellor but he refused! I do not want to get a divorce. my parents told me to wait, they believe he will come back to me.

He doesn't wanna start over, he doesn't wanna see a marriage counsellor then what for you still wanna hold onto this marriage???

And, your parentd told you to wait??????

Please, stop wasting your time.

 

[wenz]

since he mentioned that he don't love you, why still marry you 6mths ago and invite her to the wedding somemore?!

anyway like wat the rest say, better to give up now then drag on
it will be painful initially but after everything is over, u will be happy tat you made this decision now...

 

[MangoApple]

Can file for Nullity instead of Divorce since is less then 1 year??

under the law, we are already married for 3years, just that we had held our wedding 6months back...but before ROM, everything was ok, we are ok yet i do not know why is he doing this to me. he said we cannot get along. I admit I do throw tempers at him sometimes. I told him I will change for the better but he said its too late.:embarrassed:

 

[Ting]

sorry to say this, but dun be foolish, he wont come back alr.
dunno why he marry u in the beginning since he was alr with this girl?
u shld divorce him, get a fat alimony n move on with your life.
no point pinning hope on a hopeless man n marriage.
there is no love, or perhaps just a one sided love from u.
he can be so honest with u abt tt girl alr, n even invite her to your wedding, what respect does he hv for u?
he will return to u?
yeah slowly wait til tt girl is done with him, then perhaps he will come back to u.

move on n stay strong, there r better men out there.
it wil be easier since u hv no kids also.
n i feel tt he say what, he cannot stand your temper all those, its bullshit.
unless u abuse him, then i hv nth to say for tt.

 

[MangoApple]

The reason we went ahead with the wedding was because everything was paid for already. The bridal shop, hotel & even our house. Although we had our usual fights & quarrels but we still made up with each other, he give in alot to me. The gal even had the cheek to say we are always quarrelling everyday might as well divorce! I was so angry! When I asked him about it, he said I am making up stories. Why will I make up story for ? Its all because of that gal, she is so shameless! Why must she come & break up my family!

 

[whitecat]

It's plainly yr hubby doesn't hv respect 4 u.... sad to say!!!
Good to take d painful path now. Although luv is blind, but blindness leads 2 nowhere. Every living soul(s) earns their happiness thru own creation.
Be wise....

 

[JesNM]

if he does "chu yiii".... I will do "shii wuuu"......

 

[pkshl]

ya, agree with Ting , i also dun understand y does he still marry u despite having an affair outside.

 

[ecym]

MangoApple

sound like you are putting the blame on the other woman... when it comes to affair, I always believe it takes two hands to clap... your new hubby already confessed tat he has no more feeling for you... did you ask him what does he want now? Usually guys' first reply is DON'T KNOW. As a legitimate wife, maybe you two can discuss and agree on a few things together in order make your marriage works... If your Hubby evades the question totally, I think you can put a stop to everything by getting out of this meaningless marriage.

Just my opinion...

 

[tinkerball]

u are hurting urself even more by holding on to this marriage. why do this to yourself? he didnt even make an effort to salvage this marriage. u are the losing party in the end. u got to move on. i believe somewhere out there might be a better guy who is willing to love u wholeheartedly. u have to wake up from this self denial. sure it hurts to let go. but think of a better future that might await u. do u really want to see him continuing the affair for the rest of ur marriage right in front of ur very eyes? ? dont pain urself furthermore. take the right step.

 

[SunShine07]

I think everyone hear given you more than enough advises, some of us here went thru really very diff moments when we face such thing happen in our lifes. Decision is always yours. i was like you pining hope that a man who dun change or love me, in the end, hurt myself and my son....

From what i see, your hb heart is not here in you....your case is very similiar to my friend's case. She tried so hard, ask for counsellor, but her hb just refuse and reject evreything, he already dun wan the marriage. My friend tried for like 3 years, during these 3 years, whenever she goes and look for her hb (when her hb was staying with his lover), he will rebuke her, spite her, call her fat bitch...very awful n hurting words....and he 'beg' my friends to divorce him quickly as he can't stand a single sight of her....so on....when i hear this, i really feel heartache for her....

My dear, do you really wan to go thru this for such unworthy man? to be frank, no point blaming on that gal, like they said it takes 2 to clap....it was this man who dun treasure you.

If you can't take it, please let go, if not, you gonna hurt yourself very deep. Its better to know now than after having kids...

Take care my dear.

 

[Queenbabe]

Pls take good care.... do u have any kids? If no can simply leave him...

He already say harsh words like no more feelings towards u.... im sure even after few more years it will still be the same... that stupid fellow how can he still marry u when he behave this way....

 

[dinnie]

hi, i know what u going thru. The feeling is not good. take the evidence and prove it in the court and maybe use it to find out where the woman stay and talk to the family. Must teach the shameless woman a lesson

if u need a good and reliable PI, pm me at dinnie.looi@gmail.com