vanillabaileys
New Member
Hi all mummies and mummies to be,
I need some advice here. I hope I don't sound too naggy or silly or immature here. But just need some listening ear as well.
I live with my hubby and my PIL lives next door to us. Literally we are neighbours so to speak. All along we have no issues with each other. My PIL are very very nice pple and quite open-minded as well.
Problems started with my SIL. My hubby's brother's wife. His wife have issues with me and my hubby. But mostly me. 7 years ago, when I was first introduced to the family by my hubby, she hated me the minute she saw me. She became very hostile towards me, felt that I was a threat towards her. I never knew why until today. Some of our relatives told me it's because she's immature and jealous of me. Anyway I don't care since I have put in effort to talk to her, be friends with her, but kenna rejected. I don't wanna look like a fool trying to make peace with her when I don't even know what's the prob in the first place. Subsequently over the yrs, she posted nasty things in her blog, and on FB. Saying things like :"going to my in law's place for reunion dinner is like going to hell, i can't stand seeing those 2 faces. Those 2 apple polishers. I wish they can disappear on earth now"
My BIL knew about all this and kept quiet cos i think he's hen pecked. Then 2 yrs ago, he wanted to divorce her as he himself also can't stand his own wifey. Then last year, they discovered that she was preggy. Then they hurriedly prepared for customary etc.
The best thing? They shifted in next door. They have their own flat actually. But don't understand why they moved in just like that. Anyway, my PIL also never say anything.
So, the problem started when I discovered that I was preggy myself this year. My edd is end oct.
My MIL started to tell me that she will hv to look after the first grandson since they already shifted in. (take note that they are living there FOC!, as far as i know, they don't pay my in law any money at all. everything is just on my PIL! freeloaders)
So I say Ok, I will place my baby in infant care after I go back to work. My MIL objected. She said that why not I engage a maid to solve all the problems? Because she wants to look after my baby also, but my SIL doesn't want to have a maid at their place. I told my MIL that all along, I never entertain the idea of having a maid. I just don't like another stranger in my hse. To me, i feel that my sil n bil should be more automatic, they expect my mil to take care of their bb and even told my mil that if really I engage a maid, the maid shld never touch their bb. I just told my mil the same thing. I dun like to hv stranger at my place n i also dun like maid to touch my bb.
My mil hv been bugging me for ages since i preggy till now to engage a maid. I feel so pressurised cos first of all, my hubby and my finances are already quite tight, w a maid ard, it's additional burden. I rather place my bb in infant care.
My sil bb is also not an easy bb to look after. scream n shout the whole day, my mil perpertually has no time for herself at all.
sigh.. sorry for the ranting. I just need to let it out. I just felt that ever since they moved in next door, they hv so much requirements but don't contribute a single cent. And expect me n hubby to shoulder everything.
I need some advice here. I hope I don't sound too naggy or silly or immature here. But just need some listening ear as well.
I live with my hubby and my PIL lives next door to us. Literally we are neighbours so to speak. All along we have no issues with each other. My PIL are very very nice pple and quite open-minded as well.
Problems started with my SIL. My hubby's brother's wife. His wife have issues with me and my hubby. But mostly me. 7 years ago, when I was first introduced to the family by my hubby, she hated me the minute she saw me. She became very hostile towards me, felt that I was a threat towards her. I never knew why until today. Some of our relatives told me it's because she's immature and jealous of me. Anyway I don't care since I have put in effort to talk to her, be friends with her, but kenna rejected. I don't wanna look like a fool trying to make peace with her when I don't even know what's the prob in the first place. Subsequently over the yrs, she posted nasty things in her blog, and on FB. Saying things like :"going to my in law's place for reunion dinner is like going to hell, i can't stand seeing those 2 faces. Those 2 apple polishers. I wish they can disappear on earth now"
My BIL knew about all this and kept quiet cos i think he's hen pecked. Then 2 yrs ago, he wanted to divorce her as he himself also can't stand his own wifey. Then last year, they discovered that she was preggy. Then they hurriedly prepared for customary etc.
The best thing? They shifted in next door. They have their own flat actually. But don't understand why they moved in just like that. Anyway, my PIL also never say anything.
So, the problem started when I discovered that I was preggy myself this year. My edd is end oct.
My MIL started to tell me that she will hv to look after the first grandson since they already shifted in. (take note that they are living there FOC!, as far as i know, they don't pay my in law any money at all. everything is just on my PIL! freeloaders)
So I say Ok, I will place my baby in infant care after I go back to work. My MIL objected. She said that why not I engage a maid to solve all the problems? Because she wants to look after my baby also, but my SIL doesn't want to have a maid at their place. I told my MIL that all along, I never entertain the idea of having a maid. I just don't like another stranger in my hse. To me, i feel that my sil n bil should be more automatic, they expect my mil to take care of their bb and even told my mil that if really I engage a maid, the maid shld never touch their bb. I just told my mil the same thing. I dun like to hv stranger at my place n i also dun like maid to touch my bb.
My mil hv been bugging me for ages since i preggy till now to engage a maid. I feel so pressurised cos first of all, my hubby and my finances are already quite tight, w a maid ard, it's additional burden. I rather place my bb in infant care.
My sil bb is also not an easy bb to look after. scream n shout the whole day, my mil perpertually has no time for herself at all.
sigh.. sorry for the ranting. I just need to let it out. I just felt that ever since they moved in next door, they hv so much requirements but don't contribute a single cent. And expect me n hubby to shoulder everything.