Paranoid wife

[flyaway]

Hi Mummies,

I wonder if there is anyone like me? So panaroid about hubby "eating outside"? Though hubby did not display any obvious symptoms like not going home or making secret phone calls in toilet. I am still afraid that he will 'eat outside' and managed to 'wipe his mouth clean' since his job is pretty mobile.

Whenever I see him replied sms or bring his phone into toilet occassionally, I get paranoid. I went through his emails, PC and at times his SMS but there is nothing supicious going on. I wonder if he managed to wipe his mouth clean or because there is nothing going on?

Sometimes when I see his credit card bills, there would be less than $50 bill at a restaurant visits, its obvious that the cost of lunch was for 2 persons and not a group lunch. Its not a frequent thingy but I wonder who he ate lunch with cos I believe he will not eat alone in a restaurant. He would rather go to eat in fast food outlets. I know I should take things easy as its no big deal if he would to eat with a female colleague. I also know that he wouldn't want to share these details with me cos he know that I will get upset. Perhaps, hence he remove "evidences"

Perhaps, its because of my inferior complex? Everyday look like an ah soh without make up at home waiting for him. Maybe, when I return back to work, I will feel better cos at least can dress nicer and make up?

I duno why I am so paranoid these days.

 

[Phoebii Cheng]

Are you pregnant? or just given birth?

 

[flyaway]

gave birth for more than 3 mths...

 

[Phoebii Cheng]

You taking care of bb yourself at the moment? could be your hormones, that's why you keep thinking a lot plus taking care of bb. Don't think so much....if you really feel tht your hubby is hvg an affair, mayb can jokingly ask him....and see what is his reaction?

 

[missixty]

You taking care of baby yourself at the moment? could be your hormones, that's why you keep thinking a lot plus taking care of baby. dont't think so much....if you really feel tht your hubby is hvg an affair, mayb can jokingly ask him....and see what is his reaction?

what phoebii said is right, maybe given birth, it's ur hormones or some post natal blues/ insecurity.. maybe u can try to talk to ur hubby abt it.

take care!

 

[flyaway]

He will give me this pissed off look lor...

I wondered why if he choose to keep things from me? Like his porno collection? I tot husband and wife already, still need to keep from me meh? Aint we supposed to enjoy these together?

Our sex life has reduced to once a week after when we have kids. Sometimes, when insecurity gets me, I will start to have wild tots if he has someone outside or DIY? He always tell me he is tired due to work and I am so sick of listening to it.

 

[TANZHENZHI]

You should have a good talk with your hubby and tell him how you feel instead of keeping it to yourself and making yourself so paranoid. Take care.

 

[flyaway]

We have talked previously on our sex life, hubby said will improve on it and I don't see much improvement but I dun care much liao...

Now that with my added insecurity and if he know that I have been snooping on his stuff, he will be super pissed off. I even tried to create his attention by bringing my phone into the toilet and on the pretend that someone was still smsing me in the wee hrs. Though it did feel good that he was 'jealous' that someone was texting me but I feel I am insane to do all these kind of stuff to get his attention.

Perhap I would stop doing all these stuff when I go back to work...

 

[Phoebii Cheng]

Mayb you can just ask him straight lor if he receive sms or call at night....sometimes I do tht too to my hubby ask him "who is tht call so late at night?" and he will tell me who & who, but so far only once in a while lah his friend will call him at night

 

[Ting]

uhhhh, why dont u just speak to your hubby?
honestly, it is the only n also the most efficient way for u to find out the truth n also reassure yourself.
yah he might be upset u hv been checking on him, but then again, if he didnt do anything wrong, he wont make a big fuss.
i feel that if he really cares abt u, he will just try his best to reassure u. usually those who really did something wrong will blow up n make a big fuss.
i think its a phase bahs, i did went thru this phase too.
but thats becos my bf is in aussie, n we werent tgt for that long tt time (after we got tgt for abt 3 mths, he had to fly to aussie alr).
i was pretty suspicious, kept checking on him like asking him who is this n that girl i saw/hear in the background (they living in hostel). but v hard for me to keep track too lahs, cos he is overseas.
but, he doesnt blow up or get pissed off when he sees me looking into his phone, or taking a peek at his emails when he is clearing them. he just reassures me everytime that i m the only one n there is no one else he bothers abt. he makes the effort to inform me where he is going n also cut down hanging out with the other girls over there.

well after awhile, it doesnt bother me alr. cos i feel the security alr.
dun play the mind games with your hubby lahs, later more problems r created. just tell him nicely lorr, he will understand.

 

[flyaway]

He HATE when I checked on him. Last time checked his internet history; he found out and he was very upset. I told him I checked on him because its seemed that he doesnt want to have sex with me and I am 'curious' to know if he is visiting porn sites to DIY. He always said I dun trust him. I am just too paranoid.

So I dunno if I should come clean??

Shucks, I just happened to delete 2 of his sms in his old phone accidentally. I wonder if I should come clean or wait until he finds out?

I am getting from bad to worse, its like must check everything for a peace of mind. Can't help it. Arrgh...

 

[apollo]

babe, no one loves ppl to check on them. okay i admit, i do check on my hubby's HP last time but I never let him has the chance to noe i was checking his hp. and i got no intention to 'catch' him or what, just casual 'checking'.

as for those restuarant receipts, did u ask him who he dined who? tell him ur worries, let him noe it;s not tt u dont trust him but becos u love him too much that u tend o get wry he might leave u instead of going straight to him and ask "you outside got woman izzit?"

as for going to toilet or other placs to ans call, my hubby is ALWAYS lik tt. haha. even my mil calls, he also will go other places to ans. i dunno y but i think is his habit or what. unless if those anonymous call den he will not go other places to ans. but i trust him for now lahh =)

 

[apollo]

He HATE when I checked on him. Last time checked his internet history; he found out and he was very upset. I told him I checked on him because its seemed that he doesnt want to have sex with me and I am 'curious' to know if he is visiting porn sites to DIY. He always said I dont trust him. I am just too paranoid.

So I dont know if I should come clean??

Shucks, I just happened to delete 2 of his sms in his old phone accidentally. I wonder if I should come clean or wait until he finds out?

I am getting from bad to worse, its like must check everything for a peace of mind. Can't help it. Arrgh...

ur bay is only 3mth old right? is ur hubby lik tt b4 u get preggy? cos there was a period my hubby also lik tt, esp ds's 1st 5 mths, he dont even touch me okay! i dunno izzit men's phobia or sth. but i think u shd ask him what's the reason behind y he is 'hiding' from u? is he really v tired or he is afriad tt u're tired.

 

[Phoebii Cheng]

He HATE when I checked on him. Last time checked his internet history; he found out and he was very upset. I told him I checked on him because its seemed that he doesnt want to have sex with me and I am 'curious' to know if he is visiting porn sites to DIY. He always said I dont trust him. I am just too paranoid.

So I dont know if I should come clean??

Shucks, I just happened to delete 2 of his sms in his old phone accidentally. I wonder if I should come clean or wait until he finds out?

I am getting from bad to worse, its like must check everything for a peace of mind. Can't help it. Arrgh...

Would you want to get a hobby? like do a blog or scrapbook abt your bb? It will help you take your mind of your hubby for a while......

 

[skirtdressnsuch]

hmmmmmmmmm.............. for me personally i still believe in trust......dats wat a marriage is abt right?

 

[flyaway]

I duno if i should believe him when he told me that he needs to go back office to 'show face' to boss (he came out of office for our DS vaccination). What the point to go back office without his lappie and less than 2 hrs before knock off time?

How can one go back to office without laptop?? Though he said his boss talked to him when he went back office.

I am going crazy soon cos its seemed to so unbelievable that one can do without his lappie in office! Yet the other side of me wants to believe him but cannot until I check his mobile for any supicious sms etc.

 

[apollo]

I dont know if i should believe him when he told me that he needs to go back office to 'show face' to boss (he came out of office for our dear son vaccination). What the point to go back office without his lappie and less than 2 hours before knock off time?

How can one go back to office without laptop?? Though he said his boss talked to him when he went back office.

I am going crazy soon cos its seemed to so unbelievable that one can do without his lappie in office! Yet the other side of me wants to believe him but cannot until I check his mobile for any supicious sms etc.

y cannot believe him? like what u said, less than 2hrs. i think if ur hubby really wanna cheat on u, he might as well bluff u that he is going bk to office to wk for the rest of the day and come bk on aft he 'knock off'. what's the point of rushing here n there during tt 2 hrs??

hon estly speaking, i feel tt u shd talk things clear with him, tell him hw u feel and aft tt STOP checking on him. if u really dun trust him, hire a PI and follow him. cos no point checking on his HP etc. and if the PI can find any evidences on him having woman outside, at least u got sth to confront him, if they cant find, means u really think too much =)

 

[mtan]

flyaway, a wife instinct are sometime accurate.

I believed, there is to it more than whether having sex with u or not. I mean the feeling seems to be lost right?

I feel that if he is really involve, even u ask him or talk to him he will not admit it.

U should get a PI to do it instead of doing all those checks yourself, as u might alert him or if he is not having affair u might frustrate him.

 

[missixty]

hey flyaway,

after reading all the above posts, (i dun mean to sound negative) but i really think ur hubby might be hidding something from you. it may not be an affair yet, maybe something something......

u may want to engage PI to check on him, if not, like what u said u are getting from bad to worse... this may make matter worse cause what if he is NOT doing anything outside then all your suspicions and checking of his mails and phone will strain your marriage...

 

[peacenjoy86]

flyaway, first get hold of yourself checking his sms/computer will not help to improve your situation instead it will make you paranoid and it may spiral out of control. Your hubby may also be angry if he finds out you have been doing all this. Nobody likes people breathing down their neck, including you right? If you are feeling very insecure about the situation, you should find a good time to have a heart to heart talk with him. Tell him how you have been feeling lately, and speak out your worries, perhaps you will find some peace after talking to him.

Well, just to share my hubby sometimes also walks away to a corner if he's taking calls even when it's his mother! Don't know if its a guys habit:001_302: Anyway, I do observe that some ppl do start walking conciously or subconciously when taking a phone call. Did u anyone also notice this habit? check on yourself the next time when u answer a call maybe u're doing it also:001_302: