Sad..

[xiaodaisy]

aiyo sad to hear.. but well find some frens to tok too cos u keeping all to urself wait depression how? if really get e more dey keep e kids away fm u.. haiz have to be strong wor.. tk cr

 

[stonston]

Fiona, it seems like ur controlling MIL, together with being overwhelmed by ur hb's actions have pushed u into depression....

I suggest u seek help at a family service centre....u need to go thru counselling to help urself first....then u can attend talks/courses on babycare and be more hands on so they cant say u dunno how to look after bb
btw, FSC can also help u find better jobs n if need be, they can also help u gain custody of e child...

u seem young n maybe childbirth changed ur life drastically so u r very lost now...dun worry too much, u can come online n chat with us...

dun mind me asking, how abt moving back to ur parents' place for e time being? at least u take e "MIL" factor out of e picture first?

 

[fiona]

i got think of this before also.. but my husband dun let me to.. n my mother in law dun let my husband to move out.. she make me feel tat she wan his son n her grandchildren.. den if i wan to move out i move out myself.. i cannot even bring my own children out lei.. she will just give me a face n see lo.. i really don't know why they so scare i bring my children out.. like i will kill my own child? omg.. i don't know what they r thinking.. i told my husband that i wan to move out.. but he just scold me n that all.. i really very stress.. i really don't know i can stand until when.. really very tired already..

 

[stephiey]

dun be stress .. ur kids needs u. my MIL is oso very controling..

i jus show her who's boss lor. i mean mayb i'm setting a bad example for u.

but at least it worked well for me.

when she dun allow me to bring my ds out, i jus dun care, back his stuff carry him onto his pram and off i go.

sometimes we jus have to remind them that we're the kids MOMMY!!

take care and dun think so much..

 

[celine]

try to talk to ur dh...
let them know tt although u r young bt u still b able to take care of ur kids...

did ur parents know abt this matter??

 

[fiona]

my parents don't know how to side me de.. they just don't care anything.. because they r scare of them.. i don't care her before also.. she just tell me.. who is the boss in this house.. n i can't say anything.. because this is her's house.. i asked my husband to move out n he don't wan.. haiz.. don't know wat they will do next..

 

[celine]

did u explain to ur dh y u wana move out...

 

[tommyBoi]

my parents don't know how to side me de.. they just don't care anything.. because they r scare of them.. i don't care her before also.. she just tell me.. who is the boss in this house.. n i can't say anything.. because this is her's house.. i asked my husband to move out n he don't wan.. haiz.. don't know wat they will do next..

Do u have any siblings or close frens to talk to?

 

[Celina]

maybe its time u tink about ur own future? do u see a future with ur hub? u ought to fight for urself n ur kids. the more they look down on u, the more u ought to do things to prove urself. i wun let anyone boss me ard cos im very firm on my stand. so u got talk things out with ur hub.

Nobody is born to b a perfect mommy, we all learn as we grow.. so they definitely have no right in saying u duno how to take care of ur kids. do something to prove to em. tell ur hub straight in his face, u wana go out to work or something. dun b afraid of em jus bcuz they have the money. u can earn ur own money too..

Be strong!!

 

[stonston]

living under some1 else's house is not easy...

i suggest u go to a family service centre to seek help first...dun sink into depression cos ur bb needs u

btw, bb is urs, u r mommy, dunnid to b afraid of ur MIL...if u wanna bring bb out n she refuse, jus call e police...cos bb is urs, not hers...she has no right to stop u...

alternatively, since she dun let u go out, y not ask frens over to chat n play with bb?

 

[fiona]

ya.. i still got my brother n some close friend to talk to.. but they only can give me advise.. family service centre? i don't know what kind of centre n what number is it.. anyone know? my husband is that kind of person, only he say.. no other ppl say.. even if he do things wrong he will push the blame on me.. so i think i don't need to waste my time telling him all this.. my friend told me that the law will think for the children.. if i don't have money to rise them.. i won't have the chance to get them both right? because my husband last time married before.. n have one child.. but the wife died very long already.. den they wanted to fight for the child but they give up half way.. maybe is because i give birth already i also don't know.. my husband last time got went in jail before.. but will this let me have the greater chance to have my both children? i really don't know what to do.. maybe only divoice can help only.. because he don't wan to understand me.. why can't he just move out n we can work hard together? haiz.. he don't like to suffer.. so he choose to glue with his mother n make me suffer..

 

[stonston]

fiona, will ur parents be willing to take u in n help u? if yes, i would suggest you bring ur children over to stay for a while first.

i'll find e list of family service centres for u to approach n post later...

regarding e chances of u getting ur kids, it is quite high as they normally give custody to the mum...as long as u r determined n get a stable job, nothing is impossible...the FSC will help u in this aspect also...

 

[celine]

although last time u dun care abt ur mum bt still u r her daughter... mayb talk to them see whether they will b able to help ant...

ya, agree with stonston apporach the family service centre 1st then see hw...

 

[fiona]

now my baby don't wan me to carry den my mother in law is like very happy lo.. i think i'm going crazy already.. very sad.. i birth birth to them den in the end they wan the granny but not me.. i wan to cry.. but no tears..

 

[celine]

dun be too sad...
sometimes my dd oso like tt... when i carry then she will cry... haiz...

 

[tommyBoi]

If things are so bad like wat u mention in all the posts, I feel there is no point for u to force urself to stay together wif this family, including ur 'useless' dh. He cant even protect u, not mention abt giving u any future.

I will advise u to divorce him and move back to ur parent's house and start ur life afresh. U are still young and dont waste ur time there. As for ur kids, find ways to get them back after u divorced.

All the best to u Fiona...

 

[fiona]

thanks gals.. i really wan to divorce with him.. but how am i going to do? i don't have money.. my husband work n he spend all his money without saving n also never give me money.. i work.. but i need to buy milk powder, dryper n sometimes i still need to help him to paid for his bill.. like hp bill, internet bill n scv bill.. n my daughter is inside the childcare centre, the school fee also i give.. it's very ex.. so i don't have any money left with me.. if i really wan to divorce with him i will need alot of money..

 

[BunnyKiss]

thanks gals.. i really wan to divorce with him.. but how am i going to do? i don't have money.. my husband work n he spend all his money without saving n also never give me money.. i work.. but i need to buy milk powder, dryper n sometimes i still need to help him to paid for his bill.. like hp bill, internet bill n scv bill.. n my daughter is inside the childcare centre, the school fee also i give.. it's very ex.. so i don't have any money left with me.. if i really wan to divorce with him i will need alot of money..

Sorry to hear that.

try legal aid..you qualify if you earn less than a minimum amount, think about $10k - $15K after taking into accounts all kinds of deductions.

also a lot of legal firms offer first time free legal counselling, you can try talking to them, and let them advise you the on the best recourse. But the legal fee is very high, but allows payment in installments.

 

[stonston]

btw, pls keep all proof of u paying e bills n such...cos it will help in u fighting ur case tt he is not supporting e family....

 

[celine]

thanks gals.. i really wan to divorce with him.. but how am i going to do? i don't have money.. my husband work n he spend all his money without saving n also never give me money.. i work.. but i need to buy milk powder, dryper n sometimes i still need to help him to paid for his bill.. like hp bill, internet bill n scv bill.. n my daughter is inside the childcare centre, the school fee also i give.. it's very ex.. so i don't have any money left with me.. if i really wan to divorce with him i will need alot of money..

this kind of dh also have... then he spent all his $$ to where??
think really no point staying with them & some more they treat u like tt....