Should i Divorce or forgive?

[virginialadies]

dont hate that bitch, cos she is going to be worst then what you go thru.......

I really feel so angry n what a worthless man. dont hesitate to divorce him! Not only he disrepect you, but he ruin your dear son's childhood!

I really hate this kind of jerk!

gal, dont be sad for he won't feel anything for you........leave him fast, dont let your kids witness all these....poor kid....

*hug*

I feeell sad y he turn out b lik tat. Hais. I must b strong. Will it hard to b single mum?

 

[virginialadies]

You are only 22. Still young to find another man who will love you with all his heart & not bring another woman home!

1. Get a PINHOLE CCTV. It can be hidden in alarm clock, soft toys, etc. Cannot be seen and he will not know. My husband can rent you a set if you do not want to buy one. You can try to get him out of the house for a day or two to ensure smooth set up & running.

2. Keep all reciepts for everything you are paying for. If possible, get his SingPass so that you can bring out the following:
(a) His CPF statement
(b) Log into HDB to ensure your name is added as owner of the flat (else you'll need to make appt with HDB and go down with him to do it)



Actually, if I'm you, I'll pretend to forgive him now. Move back first. Act as if nothing is wrong so that you can collect more evidence. Once you have everything settled (house with your name, receipts of daily expenses/household expense paid by you, etc), then you move out & bring out the divorce to him. TAKE HIM BY SURPRISE. dont't give him a chance to 'get away'.

POWER i lik tat method. Ur method lik the channel u drama Cruel Temptation 妻子的诱惑 lei. I want to b lik her alr. But i not strong enough. All the expenses is paid by him cos i not workin. HDB must have 2ppl name den can buy rite?

 

[virginialadies]

your thread shouldn't say 'should i divorce or forgive' instead, how to divorce better. He didn't even ask or seek for forgiveness, and no sense of guilt!

Sigh, wonder why God create such jerk to ruin ppl life~

Have tis kind of jerk and bitch life more interesting..they are role of bad den will have role of good ones..lols. Both shamless!!! V match lei.

 

[virginialadies]

If her husband gives her the password willingly, it's not illegal isn't it?
And it's normal for wives to have access to such things to help them settle admin matters (e.g. apply for grant/subsidies since they are on single income now, check housing loan balance since her name is not in the flat yet, etc).

I know all my husband's acct's passwords. He openly tells them to me for convenience. He also knows all my acct passwords. It's not a crime since we allowed each other to have it, isn't it?

Ya, but if bank they don allow even if hub or wife to know about their personal account. I know most of his passwords, but i dunno how to check.

 

[Renzie]

I know all of hubby's password...and he know none of mine..hahah. Even his i banking, credit card passwords also given to me. In the end, every time he wants to access, he have to end up asking me what are the password, since he usually end up forgetting them.

i think you should be able to check if your name is on the HDB list as well. If you can't log in online, you can always go to any of the HDB office around, you can always call them up first to see if can check over phone, if not, ask them what documents to bring. At least can prove that you are the wife. Have not gotten my own flat yet, so don't know how to check via HDB website, probably the rest are able to tell you.

 

[Ting]

i think if it is willingly give, shld be ok.
just check with HDB first lorr?

 

[yvonne_ktw]

Hi virginaladies,

i'm sort of abit slow in viewing this topic but hope you are coping well now. That is a jerk cum bastard cum idiot who is brainless.

It's not so fast to get over him but no matter what you will get over this idiot sooner or later de right? you can do it dear. .

Try to mix around with more of your own friends. . if you want can meet up with us mummies and we bring our kids out for a chat~ walk~ coffee etc. It will occupy your time and wunt think that much too ya.

Please take good care of your own self to prove to him that you can live BETTER even without him! Let him go miss the kid and purposely don't let him touch or even see yr kid at all.

CHEER UP!! ancing_wub:ancing_wub: We will always support u!!

 

[fishola]

Hi Virginaladies,

Firstly I am sorry to hear about what you are going thru. Being a woman like you, I know its painful to go thru this BUT you have to always remember that YOU HAVE A SON and with this little one,its the only way you could pull yourself together and be strong to face this man.
I dont have a word to call them both. Its way too far to do this to any human.For that woman,that is just cruelity! She will face her bit one day! I dont know how some women can bring themself to another woman's place.Totally disrespect and where's the pride gone to?
Perhaps he dont have any cents to even boook a room to "bring his friend".Thats the reason they end up in your room and in your own bed!! How is it possible to even fight for maintanence??? Seconld this man is not even working!! Fixing a CCTV sounds a good idea,unless somebody is helping you with that. Be careful of your maid and dont let her know of this plan.She might turn and tell him.
Its a blessings that your mum has a place for you so that you can stay there while all this process is taking place. To forgive is to each its own.But in my point of view this man is worth nothing and dont deserved your child nor you.Therefore a divorce is a better choice.He didnt even bother saying sorry or repent and make any promises that he wont do it again.If that happens,the least you can consider.But since his ego is just like a stinking pig! You have to keep your dignity and walk away!
Least if this man is fully responsible over the child and be a good father you could consider staying for son's sake but he has nothing to stay for!! Not working, no money to support and worst doing this!
Your child needs a good environment to grow up into and with him bringing in a stranger and perhaps more incident will happen in the future (example : hitting you,hitting the lilttle one,not giving you expenses) all that may come and you might never know.You would not want your little one to suffer and see you get beaten and "bullied" by this man.Your little boy might grow up thinking this is fine and thus,he will have dad's character.Before that happens,YOU have to take action and do the necessary.
YOU are not the ONLY one who is going thru this and neither the last one! So dont feel like you are the victim because you are not! Take your son away from such things and allow him to be living peacefully with Grandma and you.Its never wrong or bad to be a single parent and to bring up a child single handedly! Infact that is an act of bravery and I am sure you can do that.

Be strong,have faith in God and we all are here to assist you in this matter.

Take care of your little one and God bless you.

Warm hugs

 

[eissacsirhc]

waoh.. he seriously have no respect for u at all.. its' bad enuff he is having an affair but to bring the girl home is really.. disrespectful..
Maybe u shud get the evidence 1st and den give the evidence to ur lawyer.. they shud be able to help u from there..
Good luck.. U deserve someone better...

 

[Coolio]

PM for PI contact...im in this line.

Yr hubby is a JerkA$$ and ur still not decided wanna forgive or not.. Dont !

Dump him and im sure u'll get a better guy outside. ur only 22... now is already 2010.. dun worry kena label divorcee or wat.. world has changed..
This type of men give the rest bad name..knn still dare bring on ur bed..

By u moving out, Its easy for him to enjoy ur house facilities... and i dun trust that maid or urs.. she might also be his kept woman!

 

[MyHappyKids]

Hi mommies...i really dont know m i doing the right things.

I am 22years old, have 2years old son. Mx hub 29years old.

So difficult we manage to be tog for 5years now he ruin everything.

Y i thinkin divorce..cos he brought a gal to mx house...mx room sleepin on mx bed. Wen i saw the girl just she alone sleepin on mx bed. The second time i is mx bad with the girl sleepin on mx bed but never hug tog. The door been lock. The just sae FRIEND onli... Mommies hu will believe is just friend, Rite? He dont bother to explain everything. dont admit his wrong till now.

what should i do? Divovce? Wait? Btw, i now already shift to mx mum house for the moment. I already seek mx lawyer, he sae if he really have an affair he will auto divorce with me. Y must i pay for the divorce fee and let him enjoy.

Pls give me some optional...will i ruin mx son if i be single mother.

First of all, you shouldn't be asking others for opinion. We're just listening to your woes and problems.

Ask yourself this :" Will you be willing to stay with him after this?"
Will you be happy with him or will you be depressed till the day you step into grave?
You are still young, don't bolt yourself down with the kid.
with the opening minded of the current and next generation, I believe marry again with kid is not a big issues at all.

But, i didn't ask you to divorce him. Follow where you mind, not your heart now.

 

[virginialadies]

Hi all..

Greeting from 2015 !!!

It been 5yrs ..

Appreciated for all the support.. hope you are fine

 

[leehh]

hope you are ok...

 

[virginialadies]

Yup thanks .. everything is good

 

[Marie Tan]

Hi virginialadies! I just passed thru this thread and just wanted to ask how you are doing. It's been 7 years and I hope that everything that happened, you are in a good position now

 

[workingmom0716]

Glad to hear you're doing better, virginialadies! Whatever it is that you decided on, I hope it brought you peace of mind and happiness.