single parent support group

[Ting]

well babymummy, does your family know abt it?
if they dont, do let them know asap.
if u r plannin to divorce, do not put your hb name on your son's BC!
do u keep all the receipts for purchase of baby stuffs? n gynae fees? keep them for evident tt he didnt pay anything..
if possible, move back with your parents n dont let him n his family know when u gg to give birth, or they might create more trouble at the hosp!!

 

[lovemuch]

Feels so unwanted by the objections by many. Its only been a day since i know im 9 weeks pregnant. And so much commotion. My bf's family doesnt want it and even my own family despise... Can anyone give me advice? Im considering to move out and start a new life with this baby... Since i can no longer stay here or stand being with him or his family. Can anyone tell me where i can stay or get a job at?

I cant imagine the equipment scraping my own baby off. Its so hurting, but the negative from everyone is hurting me too... I cant believe after being together for so long, everyone objects and say abort it away... So unwanted and so cold. I know i dont have anyone to rely on...

Abort? I cant face myself at all or my family anymore. Im going to kill myself if i have no choice but to abort after this...

 

[Ting]

lovemuch, STOP!
before thinking abt ending your life, pls think carefully!
how old are u?
if u were to move out n start a life on your own, are u able to financially n emotionally?
what did your bf say? he suggested abortion too? do talk to him amicably n try to work things out.
keep those sucidal thoughts out of your mind NOW!

try calling this number. im not really sure if it still works, but i got it from another forum.

For teens with child and the child in them
SMS 8111 3535 Call 1800-TEEN MOM (833 6666)




many of us hv gone thru that stage u r gg thru, its not easy. but no one ever said life was easy.
pls be strong for that little one in u.
there r a few websites that help unwed mothers.

 

[JoyBliss]

Hi Lovemuch,

Hope you are fine. Pls do not take your own life... Your little one depends on you to fend for his/her existance. Please take comfort that you are NOT ALONE and many of the mummies here have been in the similar situation like yours and survived. And there are support groups (for accomo, finance, counselling etc...) that can help you. Be brave for your BB lar.

I read your profile that you like to know more about pregnancy? This is good idea. I have some books that I used before. Perhaps you may find them useful too. PM me if you are interested okay... really look forward to hearing from you... God Bless you and baby darling

 

[little_rabbit]

hi lovemuch... i understand what u are going through.. be strong and most impt is to do what u think is right? once u make the decision, stick to it and do not regret it... i too once had sucidal thoughts but when i think of my cute little bebe and hold his little warm hand at night, i feel so blessed and lucky.

being a single mum is really not easy, esp here in singapore where it is looked down upon and governmt do not support us at all. however, end of the day, we are the ones who gets the love & respect from our child and we are the ones who cuddle up with them at night when we sleep.

hence me too learning to be a strong gal and whatever 'shit' i get from others, i try to throw it back to them... in a nice manner of course. :001_302:

 

[kitsani]

We can start by meeting up - actually, the smaller the group, the better - we'll get to know one another better.

Anyone in the West area? I'm living in Bukit Batok, and work from home - if anyone free for coffee and chat, I'd love to meet and make new friends.

Sometime, chatting and sharing single-parenthood experiences with someone is an immediate help and support we could give to each other.

Let's hope that we could start something....

Kit

 

[evilprincess]

We can start by meeting up - actually, the smaller the group, the better - we'll get to know one another better.

Anyone in the West area? I'm living in Bukit Batok, and work from home - if anyone free for coffee and chat, I'd love to meet and make new friends.

Sometime, chatting and sharing single-parenthood experiences with someone is an immediate help and support we could give to each other.

Let's hope that we could start something....

Kit

hello! my day one in this forum! I'm a single mummy too and hoping to meet and make new friends...

Kit, I'm staying in Jurong East!

 

[Ting]

hello! my day one in this forum! I'm a single mummy too and hoping to meet and make new friends...

Kit, I'm staying in Jurong East!

welcome!!
hope u enjoy your stay here~
nice to meet u. :tlaugh:

 

[TANZHENZHI]

Salute to all single parents, you all are really brave!!! It's really impt to have family members support. I have a good friend also was preggy 2years ago, she didn't have the courage to keep the baby as her BF ask her to abort. I also keep telling her to keep it but she was lost and upset that noone can support her even her family members so she decided to abort it. Until today she still feel guilty. I hope all mummies can be strong for their babies. Jia you ok!

 

[shi_san_yee]

Hello, I'm a single mum to be, currently 26 weeks. Was trying to look for single mum's support grp, only found 'flysolo' but seems dormant.

Is this grp still active? .:err:

 

[masayuki]

Hello, I'm a single mum to be, currently 26 weeks. Was trying to look for single mum's support grp, only found 'flysolo' but seems dormant.

Is this grp still active? .:err:

Welcome!

Flyin Solo officially closed down a few years ago....
There might be a discussion yahoo group around though....

I'm currently working with Ginny and Frae on a new project! :tlaugh:

 

[shi_san_yee]

Great! Pls do update on where I can find the grp. Anyway, a quick, well, not so.. introduction; I'm now 26 weeks, and single. When I found out I was pregnant last yr in sept, the first reactions from everyone around me was to get married, to a point that I also got suckered into that. I have known the biological father for only 4 mths by then and we quarrel, disagree or be sarcastic with each other over everything and anything, there really wasn't a time we could have peace. (not good at all :nah. He is a nice guy, not a bad one, trouble lies with our compatibility; and we just cannot agree on many grounds.

During the preparation for the wedding, his threw his temper at me constantly. I was the one with the mood swings and so decided to leave all wedding plans to him so we won't fight. We still fought, and fought even uglier, he couldn't live with co-decision making, but also couldn't make decisions himself. He accused me of not being bothered about the wedding; to which I half agreed. After a few talks with him, I told him it wasn't working out, coz we're merely marrying because people say we should, and I do not love him, I'm already making plans on divorce even before signing the marriage papers. He then pulled a threat on me, giving me 2 choices, marry him, or abort. I chose neither.

Wedding plans were called off last min, deposits forfeited, my parents were unhappy esp my mum who constantly gave me emotional BS, shunning me from relatives, insinuating I'm a disgrace, left me out of any family events in public. She feels it's better to have a legal marriage, a father for the child, rather than do it alone, for the sake of status. I was disgusted, but could understand from her protective point. Dad was more supportive, afterall, I've been annulled before and if I really wanted to take marriage seriously, then calling it off would be my wisest choice. I know it was my mistake to be so careless and fall pregnant, but making another mistake of marrying him.... 2 wrongs don't make a right.

He called me several times after that and one day would tell me not to inform him anything about the baby, coz he's not interested. The next, he'll tell me he should play a part in bringing him up.... confirming that I truly should leave him and flee fast, he's too indecisive. Besides, now he accuses me of making use of him to have a baby (!?:elvis:?!)

To all single mums out there, I don't know how you do it, I feel so stressed up and really wanna give up time and time again. I don't know where to draw strength. I even have toxic and poisonous friends who dissect my financial situations, criticizing my every decision and judging that I'm gonna be a lousy mother, etc.... It is very hurtful and draining not to have much support at home, and then have such unhealthy 'friendships'. I do hope I'll draw some strength from fellow solo mums, and learn from your experiences.

(sorry, this has been pretty lengthy) BTW, from my understanding, can I register my baby (EDD April 2010) with just my name and surname, no need add father's name rite? just double check, no other legal procedures.

 

[Amulet]

(sorry, this has been pretty lengthy) BTW, from my understanding, can I register my baby (EDD April 2010) with just my name and surname, no need add father's name rite? just double check, no other legal procedures.

juz your name and baby follows ur surname..

u juz need to take oath to vow that u are single mother..

 

[shi_san_yee]

just your name and baby follows your surname..

you just need to take oath to vow that you are single mother..

Hi amulet, thanks. But where do i do that? I will be giving birth at mt alvernia, they do birth registrations there only for married parents rite? Can I register there too? oath? how to do so?

 

[Amulet]

Hi amulet, thanks. But where do i do that? I will be giving birth at mt alvernia, they do birth registrations there only for married parents rite? Can I register there too? oath? how to do so?

you would have to go down to ICA to register your baby's birth.. we can only do it there coz we are single moms.. level 3 i tink..

 

[shi_san_yee]

i see.... ok. thanks!! ancing_wub:

 

[Ting]

hi shi san yee, i believe u made a right decision this time..
i was in a similar situation like u.
my ex n i was tgt for only a few mths n i got preggers.
but thank god was my parents didnt want me to marry him.
they knew he wasnt any good for me n my child so after my child was born, shit happened n OUT he went.


as of the BC thingy, when u register at ICA, just inform them u r a single mum, unwed then they will give u an oath to read out n sign, then u can just proceed with your name only.



i wont tell u not to bother abt what other ppl say, cos its impossible, esp if they r close frens n family members.
instead, HEAR them, but dun take it to heart.
where to draw strength?from your unborn child (for now) n from these ppl who critisize n look down on u. take their words of critism n transfrom them into strength to show the world how GOOD of a mother u can be.
no one is born to be a perfect parent, no matter how careful he/she is, they still make mistakes. so no one can judge how good one can be as a parent. (unless u abandon your child, abuse them, etc)
a married mother doesnt prove to show that she might be a better mother than a single one. its just status.
if your friends do not understand u well n judge u like that, u might as well DROP these frenships. its not worth it. u can always make new n BETTER frens. im sure u'll be able to find quite a few here.

as of your mum, she will slowly come to her senses n all these "face" issues will be long forgotten. my mum was like tt, when i was preggers, i didnt go to any of the family events on her side. she was afraid of ppl gossipping n such, she even told her frens i was married alr..blah blah blah..
but after pin was born, boy she was soo proud of her she didnt even bother on what other ppl was saying.. pin's like her pride now, n she couldnt care less abt my status now.


take care, n all the best to u n your child.

 

[shi_san_yee]

hi shi san yee, i believe you made a right decision this time..
i was in a similar situation like you.
my ex n i was together for only a few mths n i got preggers.
but thank god was my parents didnt want me to marry him.
they knew he wasnt any good for me n my child so after my child was born, shit happened n OUT he went.


as of the BC thingy, when you register at ICA, just inform them you are a single mum, unwed then they will give you an oath to read out n sign, then you can just proceed with your name only.



i wont tell you not to bother about what other ppl say, cos its impossible, esp if they are close friends n family members.
instead, HEAR them, but dont take it to heart.
where to draw strength?from your unborn child (for now) n from these ppl who critisize n look down on you. take their words of critism n transfrom them into strength to show the world how GOOD of a mother you can be.
no one is born to be a perfect parent, no matter how careful he/she is, they still make mistakes. so no one can judge how good one can be as a parent. (unless you abandon your child, abuse them, etc)
a married mother doesnt prove to show that she might be a better mother than a single one. its just status.
if your friends do not understand you well n judge you like that, you might as well DROP these frenships. its not worth it. you can always make new n BETTER friends. im sure you'll be able to find quite a few here.

as of your mum, she will slowly come to her senses n all these "face" issues will be long forgotten. my mum was like that, when i was preggers, i didnt go to any of the family events on her side. she was afraid of ppl gossipping n such, she even told her friends i was married already..blah blah blah..
but after pin was born, boy she was soo proud of her she didnt even bother on what other ppl was saying.. pin's like her pride now, n she couldnt care less about my status now.


take care, n all the best to you n your child.

Yup thanks so much for the encouraging words. It was really painful initially especially when my 'friends' seemed to spur me on, now they behave and talk like i'm doing everything wrong. I can only keep reminding myself, no matter what, my family won't sit and watch me die, and only true friends will stand by me. I have been following some of the threads and realised the mummies here are very encouraging and even with their own problems, they are still very positive. I learning from all of u.

I'm having a boy in april, and I feel a little encouraged sometimes when my parents do little things to show that she still treats me as her daughter, even tho she still sometimes show i'm a disgrace la...

i can imagine how you tahan pregnancy and ex bf (esp when u mention he isn't good). i tahan my that ex for afew months and he makes me want to puke more than morning sickness lor. Even tho being alone made me feel lousy and helpless, he made it so much worse lor.

It's great you and ur little girl are doing good and that u have someone you intend to marry, happy for you ya! :tlaugh:

 

[masayuki]

Yup thanks so much for the encouraging words. It was really painful initially especially when my 'friends' seemed to spur me on, now they behave and talk like i'm doing everything wrong. I can only keep reminding myself, no matter what, my family won't sit and watch me die, and only true friends will stand by me. I have been following some of the threads and realised the mummies here are very encouraging and even with their own problems, they are still very positive. I learning from all of you.

I'm having a boy in april, and I feel a little encouraged sometimes when my parents do little things to show that she still treats me as her daughter, even tho she still sometimes show i'm a disgrace ...

i can imagine how you tahan pregnancy and ex bf (esp when you mention he isn't good). i tahan my that ex for afew months and he makes me want to puke more than morning sickness . Even tho being alone made me feel lousy and helpless, he made it so much worse .

It's great you and your little girl are doing good and that you have someone you intend to marry, happy for you ya! :tlaugh:

Hey,

Be strong and know that the mummies here can and will support you if you need any help at all....

Please dun feel shy to ask for any help at all okie? :tlaugh:

 

[Ting]

Yup thanks so much for the encouraging words. It was really painful initially especially when my 'friends' seemed to spur me on, now they behave and talk like i'm doing everything wrong. I can only keep reminding myself, no matter what, my family won't sit and watch me die, and only true friends will stand by me. I have been following some of the threads and realised the mummies here are very encouraging and even with their own problems, they are still very positive. I learning from all of you.

I'm having a boy in april, and I feel a little encouraged sometimes when my parents do little things to show that she still treats me as her daughter, even tho she still sometimes show i'm a disgrace ...

i can imagine how you tahan pregnancy and ex bf (esp when you mention he isn't good). i tahan my that ex for afew months and he makes me want to puke more than morning sickness . Even tho being alone made me feel lousy and helpless, he made it so much worse .

It's great you and your little girl are doing good and that you have someone you intend to marry, happy for you ya! :tlaugh:

thanks, took me more than 2 years n losta guys in btw to find the right one.
haha, my ex also make wanna puke more than MS.
the past one year hv been very suay! cos i actually met him a few times when im clubbing with my frens..
b4 tt, i didnt see him at all for 1 over year.
YUCKKKKKK~
well, the biggest regret n mistake i every made in my life is to put his name dwn on pin's BC.. freaking dumb of me!!
but still got chance to amend this mistake so thank god.

agree with uncle sam (aka masayuki), if u need any help feel free to ask, we'll try to help as much as we could, be it advices or hand me downs.