unhelpful husband.

[andieluv2]

My girl is 3 months old. Since her birth, my husband has only changed her diaper maximum 5x and feed her also max 5times. He never bathed her before and will never bother to learn. He doesnt even know how to sponge her. He only bothers to go work, bring in money and play with her. Thats it. I cant say he is irresponsible bcoz he still brings in the money. But i feel that.he.is simply not interested in her care and only know how to take the lighter side of it. The maid and i were the main care giver for our baby and i hope that my husband can be more into her care. I feel frustrated bcoz he keep complaining that.he's tired. But.little did he know that i am even more tired and i still gotta take care of bb, do the.night shifts and still gotta pump every 4hrly. He think its easy job. I am juz so frustrated now.

 

[ilovebbdylan]

some Men are quite insensitive towards women feelings and normally they are quite puzzled with our thoughts.

my hubby is just like yours. they dont do "manual work" . but this cannot rule that they don't love you and bb

they might be thinking, since i have a helper, she can help to ease yr burden, why should i do. if i really upsets you because he is not taking the initiative, why not just pass him the towel and say "hey, why not u learn how to sponge clean the baby today?"

Somtimes, i believe if we take the initiative to ask or hint them, we will get what we want easier and we will feel better. do not feel frustrated, u are feeling down now because u are tired and u need love and support from yr hubby, if he dont make his move, ask for it

stay positive!

 

[andieluv2]

I talked to him yest. I told him that its really stressful to take care of a 3month.old plus i am still pumping for her. And i haven been slping well for the past 3 momths. I told him i dont know whn i will give way. I jiz need someone to share my.load with me. And the maid.is definitely.not the right person. Told him i want him to have a part to play in his daughter's.life. Before he.knew it, she.has grown up then we cannot turn bck time liao...

 

[kathtan]

My H also like that. I could not be bothered to explain or ask too much now. Previously I was very upset about his hands-off attitude. But I learnt to let go. I have my circle of friends whom I turn to for emotional support. I learnt to be positive and take things lightly.

 

[Alisa]

tell u, most of my friend's husband don even know how to change pampers!I am lucky that my husband will help if i ask, sometimes he also wan his own time that he will leave our son with his parents but i told him, he is the father, not his parents as our son's father. if he still do not wan to spent more time with him, he will thought that "grandprents" are his father. so he now also spent more time with him lor.

 

[felicity]

Mine never changed diaper or bathed bb b4... I live with in laws so either I do or mil, fil only know how to carry.. But I do most of the time.. I'm v possessive n also worry bb closer to ils since live together so while on maternity leave I want to bond with her as much as possible!

 

[Wonderfulsky]

look on the bright side. at least your hubby is supporting and caring for u. some mummies dont even have a hubby who will care for them or even take in $$. Most guys friends that I know dont change diapers for their kids.

 

[Alisa]

i also don like my son to e so close to my in-laws... i bf my son till he was 6mths but yet he is closer to my mil than me... and whenever my mil is around, my son will wan her to carry him...

 

[cn naz]

Hubby also last time did not help me with the baby. He's too busy playing diablo! And when i asked him to help his answer was, "wait, i go through this level first." Husband of the year he was not lol. Dunno how many times i wanted to smash his laptop.

 

[Alisa]

same, why husband always wanted their time to play game while we wife have to do everything? like i will ask him to help fold clothing or do somethings, he will say u are the wife, u should do. Ok, we do all the housework then husband will be the 1 that work and bring back food la! don relie on wife to being back food to the table too!

 

[KiBin]

those hubby do not realise that once they miss this chance to change diaper for baby, when baby grow up no more chance to experience this already..

maybe they dun do it cos too many people do it and they do not want to add in more hands...

 

[hwaa]

you have a maid and a newborn, have you tried thinking in his shoes? cos man feels the stress as well, it's just that sometimes they are not good in saying things out. with you, now the added newborn, of cos his priority is bringing in the money to give u and the newborn a better life, i mean try to talk to him to see what he's thinking. man has a different type of responsibility towards the family, if they share the same portion of your load, then who's gonna bring in the money..

life is really hard now, how much are we singaporeans earning per month only.. even with both working, it's also quite hard to survive. try to talk to him.. cheers!

 

[Alisa]

that's the problem, we cannot live with only his salary alone so i also have to work but when he is back from work, he will be either fixing his watches or play computer games. When i use his computer a while during my free time also cannot. he expect me to look after our son while he play game. if he happen to let me use his computer while he fix his watch, he still expect me to look after our son! let alone say, hse work he don have to do.

 

[paulinepoh80]

I can understand if husband bring in more money than wife n wife can keep her own earning, then as a wife i don mind staying at home or do all chores even if i m a working mum. But what if husband n wife are sharing financial commitment etc loan, baby stuff, meal etc? Shouldn't them share the housework n taking care baby as well??? Can't stand MCP (male chauvinistic pig) lo

 

[paulinepoh80]

I ever told my husband, if u don wan to help, nvm, let baby follow my surname lo. Why should he follow urs by default? But I appreciate my husband because he really help me a lot. He do laundry, housework by him as well. He even help me entertain baby when he is home. Now no hse work because we stay with in law. He feed baby when he is at home while I pump milk. Midnight feeding also by him or i help once if there are two midnight feeds. Sometimes also help me wash pump parts but rare, sponge baby. Change diaper he always do.

 

[hwaa]

I can understand if husband bring in more money than wife n wife can keep her own earning, then as a wife i don mind staying at home or do all chores even if i m a working mum. But what if husband n wife are sharing financial commitment etc loan, baby stuff, meal etc? Shouldn't them share the housework n taking care baby as well??? Can't stand MCP (male chauvinistic pig) lo

yea, i think my wife will kill me if i dun share the house load.

 

[paulinepoh80]

See, there are good man ard like hwaa

 

[hwaa]

See, there are good man ard like hwaa

like u say.. she shares some of my burden, i have to share some of her burden. but i tends to get a little nua sometimes la, still need a little push from her.

 

[paulinepoh80]

Hwaa,
Who is ur wife? Let me enlighten her. Haha.....
Keep up the good work. I am sure ur wife appreciate ur hard work. Just like me though never spell out.

 

[hwaa]

Hwaa,
Who is ur wife? Let me enlighten her. Haha.....
Keep up the good work. I am sure ur wife appreciate ur hard work. Just like me though never spell out.

my wife is lurking around in this forum, hope she sees my post. lol!

i guess u appreciates yr hubby alot as he shares quite abit of yr load, and the in-laws who helped as well. nowadays the man's job is not as easy already, i see some of my friends, they take turns to do midnight shift to feed the baby and change diapers etc. when its my turn, i don't know if i'm to cope!

so try to praise yr man once a while to make him feel appreciated.