Wife, Will you scold & quarrel with your husband over trival matter
- Thread starter simon73
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mayyamaysha
Member
Oh dear. It must feel like your walking on thin ice. Has she always been this way? If no, can you recall when she started picking on you?
you first need to gather all courage AND patience. Ask her what she's truly unhappy about. Did she recently give birth? Is she a stay home mother? It'd be good if you can provide more background details so we understand better.
Personally, I do quarrel with hubby over trivial matter cos I'm only human and humans are not perfect. We all have our up days and down days. But what's important is communication in a marriage. No communication, marriage will spiral downwards eventually.
you first need to gather all courage AND patience. Ask her what she's truly unhappy about. Did she recently give birth? Is she a stay home mother? It'd be good if you can provide more background details so we understand better.
Personally, I do quarrel with hubby over trivial matter cos I'm only human and humans are not perfect. We all have our up days and down days. But what's important is communication in a marriage. No communication, marriage will spiral downwards eventually.
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Phoebii Cheng
Well-Known Member
Yes like what may says, talk to her and ask her why is she angry? and yes did she recently give birth? if she is, she is gg through a hormonal change this period of time, so be patient with her cos' she is adjusting to mummyhood and being a good wife at the same time
Yes full time housewife, very often until i have no mood to stay at home..child only a year plus....she has stopped work since giving birth but will join the workforce next year....keep bring up some past incident before she gave birth ....will not post here coz she read this forum
mayyamaysha
Member
the trouble i see with couples these days is the lack of positive communication.
if it has come to the point that you 'have no mood to stay home', pls sit her down and talk gently to find solutions to whatever problems you think you both have. Its hard, but DO NOT allow your emotions to rule your head. you both will just end up screaming at one another. When you do talk, REMEMBER, it is not about WHO is to be blamed. Its about finding ways to MOVE FORWARD instead of going in circles.
if you both are pointing fingers, stop.
if you both are screaming, stop.
if you both are feeling emotional, hug.
when you do talk to one another, remember to KEEP a clear head. no one can talk rationally if one is angry/sad/crying.
she probably has alot of pent up anger and it won't be easy for her (and you) to calm down when emotions get in the way. but it can be done.
Hope she's reading this too.
Good luck.
if it has come to the point that you 'have no mood to stay home', pls sit her down and talk gently to find solutions to whatever problems you think you both have. Its hard, but DO NOT allow your emotions to rule your head. you both will just end up screaming at one another. When you do talk, REMEMBER, it is not about WHO is to be blamed. Its about finding ways to MOVE FORWARD instead of going in circles.
if you both are pointing fingers, stop.
if you both are screaming, stop.
if you both are feeling emotional, hug.
when you do talk to one another, remember to KEEP a clear head. no one can talk rationally if one is angry/sad/crying.
she probably has alot of pent up anger and it won't be easy for her (and you) to calm down when emotions get in the way. but it can be done.
Hope she's reading this too.
Good luck.
crystalpink
Member
Hi,
I agree to the above advises.. I guess thgs will be better once she join the workforce next yr, so be more patient. If u hv tried all methods but still doesn't work, cn consider to consult Dr to prescribe some medication to balance her hormones or probably take some supplements in the market. It helps for me when my mood is really bad.
I agree to the above advises.. I guess thgs will be better once she join the workforce next yr, so be more patient. If u hv tried all methods but still doesn't work, cn consider to consult Dr to prescribe some medication to balance her hormones or probably take some supplements in the market. It helps for me when my mood is really bad.
mayyamaysha
Member
It's common for stay home moms to get moody and depressed. The more children the more moody.
What supplements do u take crystal? I get real moody too, maybe I shd take supplements.
What supplements do u take crystal? I get real moody too, maybe I shd take supplements.
missymelody
Member
i will find fault with him when he doesn't reply or answer my question ( i repeated many times ). i get pissed and i will ask scold him ( thru sms ) or over the phone, sometimes face to face he make me angry i will just show a black face or say him back y u like this one ( grumble grumble scold scold ) then sua! we usually don't get angry for days la, maybe quarrel now later ok, or i just ignore his craziness like the way he ignore my unreasonable attitude then ok liao. sometimes pms mood swing just scream at him. HAHAH. i think your wife might be those don't like to SAHM? sometimes facing a child is really very tiring and frustrating at times, especially 1st child, with no helpers, my daughter turning 1 next mth, i take care of her myself, also very moody sometimes, lack of sleep, have to learn and do everything myself.
ok for hormones pills, evening primrose oil is good to control hormones, when my hub having bad mood swing due to his rash, i gave him eat that and it really helps, like my mum going thru menopause now, i bought for her to take, 1 bottle at first, she finish it, and nature farm didn't sell the small capsules already so she didn't take for days , she say it helps her insomnia but she dunno whether it helps her moodswings, but it reallly did help lor, she didn't take for that 1 week life was hell for us, even my sis also say, she get so bad tempered suddenly! but i went to buy again at unity the small capulses $11.80 only. i think quite cheap ma. so she's taking it very regularly now. and it really helps! hope this helps mummies and daddies!
ok for hormones pills, evening primrose oil is good to control hormones, when my hub having bad mood swing due to his rash, i gave him eat that and it really helps, like my mum going thru menopause now, i bought for her to take, 1 bottle at first, she finish it, and nature farm didn't sell the small capsules already so she didn't take for days , she say it helps her insomnia but she dunno whether it helps her moodswings, but it reallly did help lor, she didn't take for that 1 week life was hell for us, even my sis also say, she get so bad tempered suddenly! but i went to buy again at unity the small capulses $11.80 only. i think quite cheap ma. so she's taking it very regularly now. and it really helps! hope this helps mummies and daddies!
crystalpink
Member
Hi Mayyamaysha,It's common for stay home moms to get moody and depressed. The more children the more moody.
What supplements do u take crystal? I get real moody too, maybe I shd take supplements.
I hv tried evening primrose oil to balance my hormones n also to ease my menses cramp, but somehw I find it a bit slow for this product n I switch to other plant estrogen supplemts. Besides, I m also taking B- complex 100/50 (sustained release) as it can help in maintenance of proper nervous system so in a way it helps us to hv a much positive mind n won't feel so dw. It also helps to combat stress n fatigue. But it has to be taken early in the morning after breakfast, if not, it will keep us awake at ngt. U may give it a try.. but since it is a supplement, it is not as strong as medicine, so for serious cases , it is still better to seek professional help for short term to boost up the body b4 switching to health supplements.
Yes, i agree, the more children the more moody as lots of prob will arise.. I also believe in individual character, some females will not be so moody due to their positive n strong character, but some pessimistic ones will likely to hv such obvious symptoms. So, it is always better to keep the time occupied other than to look after babies, as I hv also heard many cases of depression or anxiety happen mostly for housewives...n again depends on individual as in hw they handle n their lifestyle also counts.
I am a stay at home mom, it can get very frustrating especially if DD is being a handful and just facing her all alone the whole day, no one to talk to or confide in. I think the situation will improve when your wife starts work, when she is able to have her own personal space/time and her circle of friends/colleagues.
Have a good talk with your wife, I tend to pick on hubby over small things when I'm upset about something but didn't say it out, and it kept on building inside, hence the nit-picking. Sometimes hubby would help me look after her, giving me some time for my own space, and I'll feel better after that. Maybe try helping your wife around the house and let her have some rest or time to do her own things, she might be more receptive.
Have a good talk with your wife, I tend to pick on hubby over small things when I'm upset about something but didn't say it out, and it kept on building inside, hence the nit-picking. Sometimes hubby would help me look after her, giving me some time for my own space, and I'll feel better after that. Maybe try helping your wife around the house and let her have some rest or time to do her own things, she might be more receptive.
sometime i will tried to keep my cool but my wife would make sarcastic comment until i blow my top...sooner or later i will get heart attack.
My wife is a quick temper person..anything that i did that doesn't seem pleasant to her and there she will start to show face
If ask her to consult Dr, i can guarantee she will make hell of noise...keep complaint i didn't do much at home
Probably will get the pills as advised by some sister here....going to knock off soon
What do expect to tonight.....storm or breezing cool nite
stay tune next monday
My wife is a quick temper person..anything that i did that doesn't seem pleasant to her and there she will start to show face
If ask her to consult Dr, i can guarantee she will make hell of noise...keep complaint i didn't do much at home
Probably will get the pills as advised by some sister here....going to knock off soon
What do expect to tonight.....storm or breezing cool nite
stay tune next monday
xiaodaisy
Active Member
maybe helping her out in some housework might relive some of her stress?
even tho sahm are at home all day long but sometimes its tiring to do housework also esp looking after young kids the whole day long
maybe its more of some nags rather den scolding?
talk to her nicely when she's more in a better mood and ask wat she actually want fm u ? maybe she just need a little break and want some help at home for housework?
even tho sahm are at home all day long but sometimes its tiring to do housework also esp looking after young kids the whole day long
maybe its more of some nags rather den scolding?
talk to her nicely when she's more in a better mood and ask wat she actually want fm u ? maybe she just need a little break and want some help at home for housework?
crystalpink
Member
Hi,sometime i will tried to keep my cool but my wife would make sarcastic comment until i blow my top...sooner or later i will get heart attack.
My wife is a quick temper person..anything that i did that doesn't seem pleasant to her and there she will start to show face
If ask her to consult Dr, i can guarantee she will make hell of noise...keep complaint i didn't do much at home
Probably will get the pills as advised by some sister here....going to knock off soon
What do expect to tonight.....storm or breezing cool nite
stay tune next monday
It seems that yr wife is an extrovert person..me too. I m also quick tempered, I realized when I'm really very moody or when im hving PMS, I will also tend to throw my tantrum easily at my hubby. If he choose not to argue with me n let me cool dw a while, i will feel better after pouring out my frustrations but if he continue to talk bk at me, then "World war 2" will be coming soon.:001_302: So,I suggest it is better to let her pour out her troubles n u just do everythg according to her wish..try to be more understanding, then she will soon calm dw after that, if not, life will be more miserable if u "add more salt or vinegar" to it. Gd luck!
apollo
Well-Known Member
Is she the only one handling all the housework? did you help out on both housework and taking care of the child? Did you bring them out every weekends? Sometimes could be she is too tired of all the housework etc. taking of a kid is not easy.
I'm a SAHM too. I used to quarrel with my hub on the SMALLEST thing. But as time passes, the frequency of quarrelling decrease cos i slowly pick up on how to handle my son, how to manage my time and my hub will try his best to bring us out few times a week. He help out with the housework and taking care of ds too so i can relax abit.
I'm a SAHM too. I used to quarrel with my hub on the SMALLEST thing. But as time passes, the frequency of quarrelling decrease cos i slowly pick up on how to handle my son, how to manage my time and my hub will try his best to bring us out few times a week. He help out with the housework and taking care of ds too so i can relax abit.
hotmilktea
Member
i am also a stay home housewife now. I am very quick tempered too. so long the things doesnt go my way, i will give black face and keep silence. sometimes i will SCREAM but it has to be very bad thing that happen then i will scream. but the "good thing" is once i blow, i am fine after that. i dont like to hide my emotion. I've always been like this temper, and now i am preg make it worse, the quick temper becomes quicker. mostly if he dont pissed me off, i wun get angry also. the thing i hate most most is he dont answer his bloody hp. PISSED ME OFF BIG TIME. I told him if i am in labor, i will just make ONE call to you, if u missed that call and you missed the birth of your son ,THEN U LIVE AND REPENT . now there is less missed call, and if there is, he will call me back soon.
but to be fair , sometimes husband sld really reflect why we get so quick temper and lose our patience. there must be something u hv done, and we have already told u many times yet it still happens .... i believe most of us are not so unreasonable lah
but to be fair , sometimes husband sld really reflect why we get so quick temper and lose our patience. there must be something u hv done, and we have already told u many times yet it still happens .... i believe most of us are not so unreasonable lah
Simon73, have you done something really wrong to you before and she has not forgiven you? Or rather she has said she has forgiven you but is digging the same stuff over and over again and picking at you all the time? If it is, there's nothing that you can do that will stop her picking at you because she probably has not forgiven you.
angelababi
Member
i agree with you cause im also like thati am also a stay home housewife now. I am very quick tempered too. so long the things doesnt go my way, i will give black face and keep silence. sometimes i will SCREAM but it has to be very bad thing that happen then i will scream. but the "good thing" is once i blow, i am fine after that. i dont like to hide my emotion. I've always been like this temper, and now i am preg make it worse, the quick temper becomes quicker. mostly if he dont pissed me off, i wun get angry also. the thing i hate most most is he dont answer his bloody hp. PISSED ME OFF BIG TIME. I told him if i am in labor, i will just make ONE call to you, if u missed that call and you missed the birth of your son ,THEN U LIVE AND REPENT . now there is less missed call, and if there is, he will call me back soon.
but to be fair , sometimes husband sld really reflect why we get so quick temper and lose our patience. there must be something u hv done, and we have already told u many times yet it still happens .... i believe most of us are not so unreasonable lah
simon73 maybe you take note of what she doesnt like and aviod repeating the same things again.. help her more on housework ... and if can after both of you cool down maybe try talk to her about this issue .. communicate well .. as marriage is something needs both of you to give in and out...
Hi ..no posting for the past few days doesn't mean peaceful day for me.
sometimes guys also need a good rest after a hard day work... wife give you black face when you reach home.
Help do housework over the weekend and go out for lunch and shopping still not enough ...complained here & there
sometimes guys also need a good rest after a hard day work... wife give you black face when you reach home.
Help do housework over the weekend and go out for lunch and shopping still not enough ...complained here & there
Hi, My spouse like to bear grudges and bring out all those unpleasant things of the past.....wonder what to get from here tonight.
Must buy ear plug.....