“It’s positive? I’m pregnant! I’m going to have a baby!” After my pregnancy was confirmed by the Gynecologist, I was so eager to find out the challenges that I will be facing in the next few months.
During the first trimester, I got exhausted easily and morning sickness was in fact very bad (I find that the prenatal vitamins add to the symptoms of my nausea and dizziness). Rushing to the bathroom became so often that I’ve got phobia puking and soon I’ve loss of appetite.
Every morning, I struggled to wake up (seems like having some dizzy spells) and dragged myself to work. Soon I loss concentration in my work and couldn’t meet my deadline. On the sixth week of pregnancy, I’ve started applying for sick leave very often. Never did I expect… My name was in the retrench list. I’ve no choice but to accept the fact. Well, I thought perhaps I can have more time to rest.
On the eight week of pregnancy, I felt pain and discomfort in the lower abdomen (it’s like menstrual cramp). Then I realized I was having mild bloody discharge. I was told by my cousin that it was normal based on her experience. I started to surf for more information in the Internet and thought it might just be “implantation bleeding” which normally occurs during the early stage of pregnancy. I was relieved until I came across an article about ectopic pregnancy. I was very worried then as I’m having the similar signs & symptoms. My thoughts went wild and I broke down. In order not to have those negative thoughts running through my mind, my hubby brought me to the Gynecologist to ensure that our baby is doing fine. It was such a relieved.
Another month passed and I’m in the second trimester of pregnancy. After three months of sickness and fatigue, I finally have the energy and I felt like myself again. My cravings for food kick into high gear and favorites are beef, salmon and spicy stuffs. I used to love coffee and durian but it turned out that both gave me nausea and dizziness.
Baby is growing at a rapid rate and my weight is increasing tremendously. My whole body starts to swell especially both my feet. When I looked myself in the mirror, I looked so different. I’m fat and ugly. I felt so terrible.
I realized that on certain moments, I can be uncontrollably weeping or hysterically laughing. For me, mood swings or emotional changes are terribly common. I tried to reduce the number and intensity of emotional changes by getting enough sleep but it turned out that I have insomnia and it can be quite frustrating. Tried getting regular exercise but I’m always giving excuses. Well, the only way I tried and always reminding myself is to stay positive.
During my third trimester, it’s one of the most tiresome, yet joyous times of my life. Baby’s running out of room, and her movement can be felt strongly but less frequently. I felt more pressure on my bladder, legs and pelvis. Back pain got worse and always wanting more massage from my hubby.
Overall, my final trimester was a great time. I’ve made through the worst trials of the first and second trimester and all preparations have been made. I know my baby is growing strong and healthy, and can feel her move as she runs out of space. Counting down and await the final moment when I’ll become a mother.
Ai Shan
