Prior to our wedding, my husband and I heard a lot of success stories about friends who managed to conceive by their first month of marriage. So we were certain too that it would happen to us – well, at least I thought it would be. However, many months went by and the continuous frustration was absolutely not fun at all!
Intercourse started to get boring – by the second month of trying! Imagine that! The thrill and excitement of the intimacy was muddled up by all the stress for my dear hubby to “perform”. And when he doesn’t, all hell breaks loose.
Trying to conceive almost turned into a horrifying mission for both of us – until I decided to take a breather and viewed the problem from a different perspective.
Now that I am six months pregnant, I was glad I took action for the sake of both my husband and I.
In the midst of seeing myself from a bird’s eye view, I found these tips to be very useful.
Just because you can’t see it, does not mean that it’s not there. It’s so easy to get stressed – especially in our current modern, fast-paced world. In our pursuit for wealth, career, success and status, stress comes easily. Most of the time, we dont’t even know we are “infected” by this disease until it’s too late. When I was trying to concieve-ing, I found that charting an ovulation calendar did not work for me. Rather than making me surer of my fertile days, it made me extremely stressed. It was because for some reason, I just could not understand how the concept of an ovulation calendar really worked. My husband tried to help by reading up on how to identify signs of fertility but I was just not comfortable with some of the methods that were recommended. So we decided to stop doing all those things as they made us feel worse.
Personally, the healthiest and easiest stress-buster is exercise. Endorphins are not called “happy hormones” for nothing, dearies. Of course, like everything else, too much of something is never good for one. So do it in moderation.
Take a deep breath through your nose and out from your mouth. Stress makes us forget to breathe and without sufficient oxygen, we might even hyperventilate. So each time you are in a stressful situation and you realise that you’re holding your breath , breathe, breathe, breathe (of course, not when you are passing by the rubbish truck. Heh).
4) It takes two to tango
Life does not just revolve around you (though sometimes I wish it does.). I t is especially crucial to come to terms with this fact when you are trying to concieve-ing. Yes, we women may be the ones to carry our little bundle of joy for nine whole months. But always, always remember that in order for any woman to get pregnant, it takes action from both the woman AND man. So if you are stressed anout failures after months and months of trying to concieve-ing, know that your husband feels as stressed (or even more) as you are because it takes two hands to clap!
5) Never give up
Each time I felt like giving up, I always remember this saying by Thomas Edison,
“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up”