Maids-The New Age of Slavery

[jasobias]

I know this topic wld stirr a cord with many.
I was reading some posts regarding maids n how some mummies r having some problems with them.
I am actually against this idea of having maids.I think it has made many people really slack,mean n self righteous.N the way the maids r being treated is hardly any different fr tht of a slave.
Everyone wants a maid with no off days.How wld u feel if ur employer does the same to u n u r left with no choice but to comply given the circumstances.
Maids r suppose to have minimal contact with their family for fear tht they may be easily influenced.Again how wld we feel if our In laws decide oooh ur family influencing u too much pls cut back on communication.
N maids r to eat only certain specified food.Again how much can one posibbly eat?
Some want maids to say yes ma'am,no ma'am.Lets just reserve tht for the military shall we.
N maids get up waaay earlier to do chores n r expected to do them well.How many mummies get up at 5am to do chores even if they r stay home?
N i often think maids have their hands full.If mummy is not able to do housework,look after baby n cook,to expect the maid to do all tht when mummy is at work is double standard.
In many parts of the world,they r suppose to be "house helpers". They r human too..they need rest,to be treated like u wld a guest or an employee in ur own office.
I have 3 kids .Never needed a maid well actually to be honest i wld love help with housework n all but i cant bring myself to get one.Dont want kids getting lazy.Or me getting lazy.Its easy to fall into tht trap.N all the abuse cases we read abt.Its so easy to "lose it" esp when u have the upper hand n see the maid ..well as a "maid".
So why this thread when i have no maid?Well i have seen too many terrible employers n too many maids suffering.I have actually gotten to see the "maids point of view" many a times n its often so heart wrenching tht i wonder why tht even happened.
Mummies pls treat ur maids as u wld an employee.No doubt u r responsible for her but to treat someone with so much animosity under the same roof?no patience when we r able to bear the worst of it fr in laws n other people? Why then this double standards?
No doubt there r bad hats.When i read articles abt how the maid killed the kids under her charge or attacked her employer,i think she must have been pushed to the brink.
Mummies wht r ur opinions?Those mummies with no maids...if its not financial reason holding u back then wht is?
This shld pose for some interesting discussion.:001_302:

 

[stonston]

Seems like your opinion is quite skewed. Have you observed/seen families that treat their maid well? Must I as an employer announce to the whole world on how well I'm treating my maid?

There are employers who are like you mentioned, but it's not ALL. & honestly speaking, it's the maids who drive the employers to do such things by LYING & being DISHONEST.

No one will treat an honest maid like that. Just like how we work hard to gain our bosses' trust, they also need to work hard to gain their employers' trust. My maid worked to gain my family's trust & I dare to say that she's very well treated in my family. She has free reign on food & usage of her mobile phone which is paid by us. She has nvr had to pay for anything from her own pay, not even her undergarments or remittance fees. She has adequate rest & is well rewarded for her efforts. There's no 'promotion' but there's pay raise & bonuses.

Maybe you are super mum who can juggle all the kids & housework, but it's not everyone's cup of tea. Maybe you got a super hubby who prints money, but not every hb is like that. Whatever it is, you shouldn't be judging mummies who chose to get a maid for whatever reason. & as an outsider, you do not know what happens exactly in each family with the maids. If you have lived with a dishonest maid before, you'll understand the frustration.

Another food for thought here:
I've met ppl who refuse to get maids even though they can afford cos they feel INFERIOR. The maid will be basically doing THEIR JOB as a SAHM & they will have no placing in the family anymore. They go around criticising other ppl's maid & claim that they can do a better job. But fact is, they are tired all day, dissatisfied with themselves and their 'achievements' and worst of all, their hbs are complaining about them all day long.

 

[snowbear]

Hmm, last time my mum hired a maid to take care of my senile grandma coz we had to go to work/ school and she was very dishonest and ill-treated my grandma (who of coz can't tell us) although i would say we treated her well. Sigh. Sometimes it doesn't mean that if you treat someone well, they'd treat you well too.

 

[jasobias]

Seems like your opinion is quite skewed. Have you observed/seen families that treat their maid well? Must I as an employer announce to the whole world on how well I'm treating my maid?

There are employers who are like you mentioned, but it's not ALL. & honestly speaking, it's the maids who drive the employers to do such things by LYING & being DISHONEST.

No one will treat an honest maid like that. Just like how we work hard to gain our bosses' trust, they also need to work hard to gain their employers' trust. My maid worked to gain my family's trust & I dare to say that she's very well treated in my family. She has free reign on food & usage of her mobile phone which is paid by us. She has never had to pay for anything from her own pay, not even her undergarments or remittance fees. She has adequate rest & is well rewarded for her efforts. There's no 'promotion' but there's pay raise & bonuses.

Maybe you are super mum who can juggle all the kids & housework, but it's not everyone's cup of tea. Maybe you got a super hubby who prints money, but not every husband is like that. Whatever it is, you shouldn't be judging mummies who chose to get a maid for whatever reason. & as an outsider, you do not know what happens exactly in each family with the maids. If you have lived with a dishonest maid before, you'll understand the frustration.

Another food for thought here:
I've met ppl who refuse to get maids even though they can afford cos they feel INFERIOR. The maid will be basically doing THEIR JOB as a stay at home mum & they will have no placing in the family anymore. They go around criticising other ppl's maid & claim that they can do a better job. But fact is, they are tired all day, dissatisfied with themselves and their 'achievements' and worst of all, their hbs are complaining about them all day long.

:tlaugh:
wow..seems like i touched a sore point.
As an observer i have seen both..maids being treated well n mostly not.
Nope i am not rich n the last time i asked my hubby..he was still not printing money.
N i am no super mum.Maybe just gd at multi tasking.

 

[jasobias]

Hmm, last time my mum hired a maid to take care of my senile grandma coz we had to go to work/ school and she was very dishonest and ill-treated my grandma (who of coz can't tell us) although i would say we treated her well. Sigh. Sometimes it doesn't mean that if you treat someone well, they'd treat you well too.

True snowbear,
not saying all maids r good..or all employers r bad.
Just sick of the abuse i see everywhere.So many cant be surely wrong.
Poor grandma of urs..then in the end wht happened? u hired new maid or family look after?

 

[snowbear]

True snowbear,
not saying all maids are good..or all employers are bad.
Just sick of the abuse i see everywhere.So many cant be surely wrong.
Poor grandma of urs..then in the end wht happened? you hired new maid or family look after?

We sent her back then tried to ask my uncle's wife to help out a bit to watch over my grandma. Back then my bro and i were still in NUS so we tried to arrange our schedules such that either one of us can be home to take care of her.

 

[jasobias]

We sent her back then tried to ask my uncle's wife to help out a bit to watch over my grandma. Back then my bro and i were still in NUS so we tried to arrange our schedules such that either one of us can be home to take care of her.

Thats really sweet.Very few grandkids wld bother taking care of their grandparents n somemore while u schooling..wow!heheheh
I guess sometimes u can only count on family or urself.

 

[meiteoh]

To each their own; one man's meat is another man's poison.

Just because some people have maids doesn't mean all of us needs maids and just because some people don't have maids doesn't mean the rest of us should follow suit.

I have seen good maids and bad maids, good employers and bad employers. It all depends on your match.

To be honest, I admire people who have maids because 1) you're letting in a complete stranger into your household (something which I don't think I could ever have the guts to do) and 2) it's a lot of work managing a maid (have to put up with her mood swings, etc, etc).

For myself and the hubs, we don't print out lots of money so no chances of getting a helper plus my hubby is from an angmoh culture whereby you can get cleaners to help clean the place but a live-in maid is only for the super rich. Working class people like me do things by ourselves - it's tough, sometimes I really am tired out so that's where the hubs and children come in to help out whenever they can.

My parents never had a maid because we couldn't afford one and later, when we could afford one, my parents didn't want to put up with the hassle (if anyone thinks it's as easy as snap your fingers and you get a maid, no way) - agent fees, passport, medical, etc, etc. If they give you any problems, it's more headache. Plus my parents feel that the kids (me and my bro) should help out with the housechores instead of getting a maid to do them. So after a while, the cons seem to outweight the pros.

 

[zazaziya@gmail.com]

I hire maids because I need someone to help me care for the children and do the chores while I work, and not because I want someone at my beck and call. My maid wakes up at 7 and sleeps at 9.30pm. she has her own bedroom, her own tv, eats anythings she likes in the house,has 2 off days a month and further off days if we are overseas. On top of that she gets her year end bonus and yearly increments. She eats whatever we eat and we sit together and eat.On top of that, she is free to use the phone. And best of all, my kids always tell her " I love you aunty!". So, I would like to think that I treat my maid well, like how an employer treat an employee. I believe kindness begets kindness, and a family will benefit from a happy and healthy maid.

I certainly do hope I belong to the majority and the horror stories we read on the papers are the minority..

 

[jasobias]

I hire maids because I need someone to help me care for the children and do the chores while I work, and not because I want someone at my beck and call. My maid wakes up at 7 and sleeps at 9.30pm. she has her own bedroom, her own tv, eats anythings she likes in the house,has 2 off days a month and further off days if we are overseas. On top of that she gets her year end bonus and yearly increments. She eats whatever we eat and we sit together and eat.On top of that, she is free to use the phone. And best of all, my kids always tell her " I love you aunty!". So, I would like to think that I treat my maid well, like how an employer treat an employee. I believe kindness begets kindness, and a family will benefit from a happy and healthy maid.

I certainly do hope I belong to the majority and the horror stories we read on the papers are the minority..

wow..u r nice..takes someone with a big heart to welcome a stranger to the house n treat them the way u do..hope there r more pple like u !!!ancing_tongue:

 

[LoVeS]

I would to correct u tat it not everyone who wish to haf their maid nt having any off days. Personally i feel maid deserved at least 2 off days per mth bcoz w/o rest, they cant perform their work better BUT i believe there are alot of employers who are afraid tat their maids will stray if given off.

U cant possibly use all the rotten apples employers as example bcoz there are still plenty of employers tat treat their maids pretty well.

Lastly, the thread u started MAY invite alot of arguments n unhappiness from many members.

 

[jasobias]

Not many pple know this but my fren who runs a funeral home have to send home at least 1 maids body home a week.N thts just one funeral company.He said many died of suicide n others accidents at home..how sad is tht?
Members of my family do have maids but these maids r "intergrated" into the family.They eat together with them,do stuff together like pray together go temple etc.They r there as additional help like how it is supposed to me.
I managed to rile many mums with this post.Not my intention.Its just sometimes its gd to take a seat back n look at the bigger picture.I see maid abuse almost everyday.I wld report it n usually nothing is done..so fed up also.
When i go out..which is very often..i see maids lugging all the stuff including the pram,while the parents r infront swinging "air".Or u see them all all out n the maid is still tending to the kids while parents r obviously in the world of their own.
Maid is struggling carrying things,holding kid while eating etc..so many examples n so many instances on daily basis.*sigh*
Maybe it was better during our parents generation when maids were rare,family ties were strong n impt n everything cld be worked out without bringing a maid into the equation.

 

[LoVeS]

Seems like your opinion is quite skewed. Have you observed/seen families that treat their maid well? Must I as an employer announce to the whole world on how well I'm treating my maid?

There are employers who are like you mentioned, but it's not ALL. & honestly speaking, it's the maids who drive the employers to do such things by LYING & being DISHONEST.

No one will treat an honest maid like that. Just like how we work hard to gain our bosses' trust, they also need to work hard to gain their employers' trust. My maid worked to gain my family's trust & I dare to say that she's very well treated in my family. She has free reign on food & usage of her mobile phone which is paid by us. She has never had to pay for anything from her own pay, not even her undergarments or remittance fees. She has adequate rest & is well rewarded for her efforts. There's no 'promotion' but there's pay raise & bonuses.

Maybe you are super mum who can juggle all the kids & housework, but it's not everyone's cup of tea. Maybe you got a super hubby who prints money, but not every husband is like that. Whatever it is, you shouldn't be judging mummies who chose to get a maid for whatever reason. & as an outsider, you do not know what happens exactly in each family with the maids. If you have lived with a dishonest maid before, you'll understand the frustration.

Another food for thought here:
I've met ppl who refuse to get maids even though they can afford cos they feel INFERIOR. The maid will be basically doing THEIR JOB as a stay at home mum & they will have no placing in the family anymore. They go around criticising other ppl's maid & claim that they can do a better job. But fact is, they are tired all day, dissatisfied with themselves and their 'achievements' and worst of all, their hbs are complaining about them all day long.

2 things i haf to agreed wif stonston is tat no 1 in tis world would actually announce to the world tat they treat their maids well or even treat their maids badly. The other 1 is tat TS should judge other mummies who choose to haf a maid, after all "Jia Jia You Ben Nan Nian De Jin" Each n everyone of other ppl's families will haf diff prob or issues ~

TS: another thing very important is tat, wat u see might nt be wat the truth is~ When u see the poor maid feeding the kids while the whole family eating BUT the fact is tat the employers let the maid eat 1st but when the we happened to see the SCENE where the maid is feeding the kids SO there we go accusing ppl~

Always see or hear things of the both side n dun always believe wat u see only~

 

[jasobias]

I would to correct you that it not everyone who wish to have their maid not having any off days. Personally i feel maid deserved at least 2 off days per month bcoz w/o rest, they cant perform their work better BUT i believe there are alot of employers who are afraid that their maids will stray if given off.

you cant possibly use all the rotten apples employers as example bcoz there are still plenty of employers that treat their maids pretty well.

Lastly, the thread you started MAY invite alot of arguments n unhappiness from many members.

Thts true the thread is gonna invite alot of arguments.But unhappiness?based on wht?Tht i have my point of view which clashes with many?
I didnt use ALL. Most i wld say.Many probably.
Just treat pple the way u wanna be treated wld be all tht i hope tht pple cld ammulate in their daily lives.
Not much to ask for..is it?

 

[LoVeS]

:tlaugh:
wow..seems like i touched a sore point.
As an observer i have seen both..maids being treated well n mostly not.
Nope i am not rich n the last time i asked my hubby..he was still not printing money.
N i am no super mum.Maybe just good at multi tasking.

All maids shouldnt b treated like a slavery~ Even my MIL wanna throw all the house chores to my "coming" maid which seriously i dun tink it is acceptable amount of work as she still need to take care of my baby ger BUT wat to do? My MIL is plain stubborn n selfish person tat even i myself also been taken as slavery b4 the maid is coming so seriously i really knw how the maid will feel.

All i can do is to help the maid as much as possible n take care of my elder toddler son myself.

 

[LoVeS]

Thats really sweet.Very few grandkids wld bother taking care of their grandparents n somemore while you schooling..wow!heheheh
I guess sometimes you can only count on family or yourself.

I would say tat alot of grandparents aso wont bother help taking care of grandchildren too so end up the maid is where it coming from to help~

 

[jasobias]

2 things i have to agreed with stonston is that no 1 in tis world would actually announce to the world that they treat their maids well or even treat their maids badly. The other 1 is that TS should judge other mummies who choose to have a maid, after all "Jia Jia You Ben Nan Nian Jin" Each n everyone of other ppl's families will have diff prob or issues ~

TS: another thing very important is that, what you see might not be what the truth is~ When you see the poor maid feeding the kids while the whole family eating BUT the fact is that the employers let the maid eat 1st but when the we happened to see the SCENE where the maid is feeding the kids SO there we go accusing ppl~

Always see or hear things of the both side n dont always believe what you see only~

True there is no need to shout to the world tht one might be a great employer.One just need to look at the maid.I dont judge very quickily.I have always been an observer.Always seeking to see full pic b4 i draw my conclusion.

 

[LoVeS]

Thts true the thread is gonna invite alot of arguments.But unhappiness?based on wht?Tht i have my point of view which clashes with many?
I didnt use ALL. Most i wld say.Many probably.
Just treat pple the way you wanna be treated wld be all tht i hope tht pple cld ammulate in their daily lives.
Not much to ask for..is it?

There are bound to have unhappiness bcoz from ur 1st post of the thread u are putting across like most employers treat their maids like slavery.

Unless u are saying tat SUM employers are treating maids like slavery~ Bcoz of rotten apples u bash all employers so it is pretty unfair for others.

There are alot of cases they treat maid very well it juz tat u didnt get to see it, tats all~

 

[jasobias]

Hey loves,
no lah i do get to see the gd ones also.Just more bad ones esp outside.Wld love to see more gd ones.Wish i wld be proven wrong.To be proven wrong in something negative like tht..wld be great..dont u think so ?

 

[LoVeS]

Hey loves,
no i do get to see the good ones also.Just more bad ones esp outside.Wld love to see more good ones.Wish i wld be proven wrong.To be proven wrong in something negative like tht..wld be great..dont you think so ?

Seriously how to prove tat wat u mentioned is wrong?? For everyone to announce tat they treat their maids well?

There are many child abuse cases from maid too but do we haf to prove tat more maids arent the same as the rotten apples so tat we can employ them? No, we don't have to so no one need to prove anything actually. :tlaugh: Yes it would be great for both maid and employer to be good to one another BUT even at our own workplace also haf so many politics probs so there are bound to have prob maids and employers.

Personally i am against maid abuse and also child abuse by maid but there are many things in this world we cant help in anything. 1 gd example is my own MIL LOLX