Any bad experience with confinement ladies?

jaclyn13

New Member
finally i hve time to write as i bz looking after my bb. i had a bad exprience wif CL. my relative recomended as she use her b4. so i ok wif tat as is recomended. BUT!!! think few yrs later things r different. my relatives use her 3yr ago n last yr nov. when my relatives give birth, i went to her hse to c the CL. n talk abt how to go abt it. my grandma call her at sept time, she say $1900. her name is hongjie frm malaysia. then when i n my grandma go to my relative's bb full mth, she say $2000 n say when i give birth on the 1st dae, call her. b4hand, i told her my edd is dec 25th. but i had a induce on 21st n give birth on dec 21st emer c-section. then the 2nd dae, she call my relative tat how cum i didnt call her. my grandma say 3rd dae call her as i hve c-section so cant so early go hm de, n she can take care of me til 25th BUt! the hongjie say she the train full le, cant com out, onli on the 29th then can cum out, she ask is it alrite. i say ok as my grandma can look after bb & me.
on 29th, hongjie was late. suppose to reach afternoon 2sumthing, hear my relative. tot sumthing happen to her when i watch the clock was 5sumthing. my relative help me call her n her son say the train was delayed( dun no truth anot). she reach my hse 7pm. she say dun count tat dae as she was late, she say start on 30th..she "look" ok when she reach immdiately help my grandma who cooking halfway. the next day, she bath for bb, fetch bb, cook food for me n my dad, n watch bb's clothes. she hang out bb colthes out, get strain on her back. my dad ask her want to c sinseh, she say dun nd. she say is old ailment , got it frm my relative's car(give birth early nov) while carrying bb get hurt. i give her master bedroom as she say i 1st time mum so she mus slp wif bb. my dad dun slp masterbedroom. she say the bed soft. the bed nobody slp there as my mum dun stay there le. she say jus nd a hard board to lay sitting position can le, she dun wan lie down. my grandma scare she cant squat dwon to bath bb so volunter to bath my bb. i n my dad ask her to rest awhile n my dad say he can mop the floor n wash plate. at nite, she watch tv, ask my grandma buy ingredient tat i can not eat de(cool food). she say her backache, so my grandma help out abit. my dad told me, in the day he saw hongjie feeding bb while her eyes closing, oh my god! then at nite i wake up to c my bb n her feeding bb. she didnt even stir properly the formula. i daytime pump put breastfeed, nite time formula. then 3dae, my grandms cook sumithing to relive her back. my grandma cook while she watching tv n sitting down. my dad bring her to sinseh. as she get injure at my dad hse, my dad feel bad. my dad came back told me tat the sinseh say is not she kana strain on her back while hanging bb colthes. is old injury n she nvr take care of her health n got wind. the sinseh veri gd, alot of ppl go c, the shop at west coast. i saw she bring alot of pills n medicine. after c sinseh, she feel better. she bauy zi dong, at nite she feed bb le ask me or dad to carry bb to the room n handover to her, she wil put bb to slp. she didnt wash bb clothes. mine jus 2daes then change. my relatives or frez cum, she sit at the sofa in the living room or inside the bedroom. the 4th dae, my dad lend his matress to her slp on the masterbedroom matress, as she complain soft low bed. she fussy lah, check my dad's matress got 1 area soft as slp tat part too long. she change the position of the matress alot of times, n lastly dun slp let bb slp tat matress. on the 4th dae, she cant tahan le, as she didnt slp on the bedroom using lying position, she go to the living room's sofa n slp. then wat abt my bb??? she say she nd to slp wif the bb...but she go to the sofa. ARGH!!! i ven got ask her on the 3rd dae, wan to slp on my single bed..she say wat abt the bb. nvm, she slp on sofa, bb cry she didnt go n attend her. i was 1st to reach bb. all the room's door was open, nvr close. summore, when bb cry for milk during nite time, she go toilet veri long then make milk. she shld attend bb. if cant ,can tell me, i can make milk. i n my dad veri easy goin person. i told my dad n my relative(recomend the CL to me) tat, CL jus can take care of bb n me can le, doesnt nd to cook gd n nice food n can rest for 1-2hrs. at nite, told her go n rest as she nd to look after bb after midnite, but she jus ignore me n watch tv. lastly, i cant TAHAN her anymore when the 5th dae, she let my bb cry wif tears out, n didnt attend him. she is the last 1 to wake up. i noe my bb cry le, jus wan to noe she got go attend him. lastly, i told my dad, she nd to go, got her or no her is the same as my grandma cook n wash bb clothe n bath bb, n midnite me n dad wake up to c bb got taken care anot. on tat 7th dae morning, my dad bring her to sinseh again as she complain back ache. then go hm, cant wrk anymore.ok, since she say out then gd. my dad told me tat after sinseh he told her to go hm , but b4 my dad say, she say 1st. tat dae, my grandma not at my hse, frm the 1st dae the CL came, my grandma got cum over n help. she told me this 1week, dun nd count $$ ,jus give her red packet as she say she didnt do much, n along is my grandma do alot. i qing cai, i pack 5dae wrk $$ in the red packet. as i say tat it! b4 she go back, she give $50 to my sister( who was blind) as she say my dad veri kind, bring her to c sinseh. wun hire her again. my grandma came back the next day, say me why give her the 5 daes $$, jus give abit $ inside de red packet. i say qing cai, we do sui xui dun wan let ppl say we do bad thing to her n she cant anyhow say bad thing, as we r gd to her. my relative paisey as she recomended the CL. THINK THE CL CANT DO ANYMORE AS SHE GETTING OLDER plus taking care bb at nite wan , veri xiong de..nd alot time to rest n not jus wan $$$ to get business every mth. can not every mth, do confinement de. SO PLS MUMMY TO BE, DUN HIRE THIS CL, hongjie !!!
 

jellybnzw

Member
Name: Auntie Helen
Nationality: Singaporean

I was damn suay with this situation. I didn't realise that I had to look for a confinement nanny months before my due date So I left mine at the last 2months.

This lady is 60yrs old and what i dislike the most was:
1) Always always nag at me to eat. I was breastfeeding and how can I eat? She kept saying that she can help me feed but I told her before we started that I will want to breastfeed.

2) cooking was terrible! So much onions, and she didn't know how to vary the menu! I spent a good 2weeks eating the same dishes for lunch and dinner!

3)Whenever I breastfeed, kept telling me I don't have enough milk have to top up with FM. I was so so fed up that I told her its me who is BF I just need to feed more often and she shut up after that.

4)Suppose to help with cleaning the floor and mopping. Never did. Found her sleeping in my living room. Thank goodness I don't have SCV.

5)Very very slow.I guess its due to her age. But I rather she be honest and tell me that she cnnot be fast.

6) Left my kitchen stove with black marks. My mom complain to me till the sky fell.

When I have my 2nd baby, I think I will engage a maid and then get catering..better still!
 

Maelyn

New Member
My CL, Caifeng or Feng-jie, was perfect - good cooking, competent with baby, pleasant, young (40+)... BUT she stole stuff from me. My boy's clothings and some other stuff, coz her daughter was expecting a baby too. She betrayed our trust in her which is a great pity coz she was really sooooo good.
 

eeshern

Member
Ladies, I had my share on confinement ladies too! i think first thing it that we need to be clear abt ground rules before even hiring these people. Also let them know we want things to be done when we want to n not when they want to just because they want to finish their work asap! Most importantly stress tht u want to breast feed and if she can't accept this then don't take on the job and you don't want to hear a word of negativity in breastfeeding. Well that is what i have learnt from my confinement period. I made her sit down on her third week of employment and scolded her till she had to cry the entire day!
 

epicurean

Member
Not recommended: Hao Jie

Nationality: Malaysian (from JB)
Age: 56

I had bad experience with this confinement nanny so please beware. Plus my baby boy is a special needs baby (cerebral palsy from brain damage) and she didn't take good care of him. I initially contacted Auntie Lian, a confinement nanny who seems very popular in the motherhood forums ... she in turn recommended hao jie, saying she's capable & all. Later I found out that Auntie Lian took commission from hao jie for recommending her ($200 out of the $1900 we paid hao jie).

What happened:
1. Found hao jie to be 'chor loh' / rough with my bb. My bb, coz of his brain damage & cerebral palsy, suffers from hyper tone (excessively stiff muscles). Yet she would anyhow bend his limbs forcibly so that she could bathe, clothe him etc. Our physio therapish, after observing her, cautioned me against her.

2. TV addict ... she was glued to the TV day & night, even when feeding bb, her eyes would be on the TV, not my boy.

3. She constantly passed insensitive, yaya comments at me to show off her 'capabalities' while undermining my confidence as new, 1st-time mummy. Eg: that my bb always cries when I carry him whereas he doesn't when she carries him ... that I don't know how to do this & that in terms of babycare ... ah duh, if I know, I wouldn't be a 1st-time mummy or would want to hire her.

4. Snide gossip ... I later found out she was gossiping about me to my mother-in-law behind my back while doing the same to my MIL to me behind her back. What on earth does she get out of sowing discord? At the same time, she curried favour with mil until in laws wanted to hire her long-term to look after bb when I return to work.

5. Very thick-skinned esp in asking for things. On her 1st day, before she even started work, she checked out things in my bb's room and asked for unused milk bottles for her grandkids. She constantly went thru' things in the house and asked us for things that we no longer use.

6. Unreliable - at times I found her talking away on her handphone while leaving my bb to cry & fuss on his bed.

In the end, we fired her and I took extended leave to become SAHM with help & support of my mum.
 

Stan

Member
Not recommended: Hao Jie

Nationality: Malaysian (from JB)
Age: 56

I had bad experience with this confinement nanny so please beware. Plus my baby boy is a special needs baby (cerebral palsy from brain damage) and she didn't take good care of him. I initially contacted Auntie Lian, a confinement nanny who seems very popular in the motherhood forums ... she in turn recommended hao jie, saying she's capable & all. Later I found out that Auntie Lian took commission from hao jie for recommending her ($200 out of the $1900 we paid hao jie).

What happened:
1. Found hao jie to be 'chor loh' / rough with my baby. My baby, coz of his brain damage & cerebral palsy, suffers from hyper tone (excessively stiff muscles). Yet she would anyhow bend his limbs forcibly so that she could bathe, clothe him etc. Our physio therapish, after observing her, cautioned me against her.

2. TV addict ... she was glued to the TV day & night, even when feeding baby, her eyes would be on the TV, not my boy.

3. She constantly passed insensitive, yaya comments at me to show off her 'capabalities' while undermining my confidence as new, 1st-time mummy. Eg: that my baby always cries when I carry him whereas he doesn't when she carries him ... that I dont't know how to do this & that in terms of babycare ... duh, if I know, I wouldn't be a 1st-time mummy or would want to hire her.

4. Snide gossip ... I later found out she was gossiping about me to my mother-in-law behind my back while doing the same to my mother in law to me behind her back. What on earth does she get out of sowing discord? At the same time, she curried favour with mother in law until in laws wanted to hire her long-term to look after baby when I return to work.

5. Very thick-skinned esp in asking for things. On her 1st day, before she even started work, she checked out things in my baby's room and asked for unused milk bottles for her grandkids. She constantly went thru' things in the house and asked us for things that we no longer use.

6. Unreliable - at times I found her talking away on her handphone while leaving my baby to cry & fuss on his bed.

In the end, we fired her and I took extended leave to become stay at home mum with help & support of my mum.
where did you get this confinement lady? Besides rude (going thru) your things... not taking good care of your baby.... gossip and saw discord??? :elvis: gosh!!
 

epicurean

Member
Stan,
No worries, it's ok. I thought CL would be ok since recommended by this popular CL. Little did I know she was eyeing the commission she could earn from her recommendation.
 

llcyahoo

Member
anyone hv bad experience with confinement agency? Due in DEC, not sure whether to get from forum recomend or thur agency? Anyone use CL from TMC?
 

Stan

Member
anyone have bad experience with confinement agency? Due in DEC, not sure whether to get from forum recomend or thur agency? Anyone use CL from Thomson Medical Center?
If you have any recommendation from frens/relatives, maybe can FASTER call the CL up. At least someone you know used her before...You are due in Dec... maybe still got chance of getting a good CL through recommendations.... so far all the CLs i called all say Oct is taken!!
so i am still CL-less.... :err:
 

llcyahoo

Member
tks stan, i am v scare to get a bad one. son in P1, by tat time will be going for P2. 1st preg can't afford confinement, i am crying n feeding my son at nite since 1st day home fr c-sect. Health not good, so hoping this round can
someone good so i can rest n sleep thur nite. Son hv ashma so vacuum and mopping at least alt day is must. scare the CL can't do tat. headache.
 

Stan

Member
thanks stan, i am very scare to get a bad one. son in P1, by that time will be going for P2. 1st preg can't afford confinement, i am crying and feeding my son at nite since 1st day home fr c-sect. Health not good, so hoping this round can
someone good so i can rest and sleep thur nite. Son have ashma so vacuum and mopping at least alt day is must. scare the CL can't do that. headache.
i think when you call the CL, must tell her about the vacuum and mopping alternate day is a must.... seems to me that they will mop and clean but around twice a week.... better to be clear about your expectations... when i spoke to one of the salesperson from the agency... he mentioned priority is and will be the NB and mummy...
sigh.. i also very scare i get a horrible CL... keeping my fingers crossed!:tlaugh::tlaugh:
 

jellybnzw

Member
One thing I hate the most is the fact that some of those POPULAR confinement nannies always like to reccomend their 'friends' When in fact they earn commission or they are being agents for these nannies as well. Cos they are popular, people always call them and they cannot take up the offer right. So they ask their friends who are not so good and then pass on to them for a fee. So unethical! I simply will not use such reccomendations again!
 

uddermummy

Well-Known Member
had a terrible experience with my cl. She was grumbling and complaining non-stop about everything and anything the minute she stepped into the house. She even grumbled about my baby waking up at night, but duh, wasn't she paid to look after the baby at night, and bbs have to wake up at night to feed!

She kept pressuring me to give formula milk, kept telling me i didn't have enuf milk, force fed my dear daughter 150 ml of breast milk when she was only 4 days old when she couldn't soothe the baby cos she had this stupid idea that my milk was too thin and so the baby was always hungry, caused my dear daughter so much pain cos she didn't wake up at night when dear daughter cried.

my dear daughter cried for more than 4 hours straight and refused to drink on days when i couldn't wake up at night to feed her, cos the nanny didn't wake up as well.

and that woman, when she fed my dear daughter ebm through syringe, she actually squirted the milk into her throat, and poor dear daughter was gagging all the way! She prob lied to us and never had any experience with a fully-bf baby before!

Silly husband actually believed the nanny and followed her mthd!!! Now, i still get heartache whenever i think about what happened.

all in all, that stupid woman really messed up my confinement. I couldn't stand her and sent her packing after 6 days, but gave her 1 week's salary.


llcyahoo,

a lot of cls dont't do housework. maybe you can have a face to face interview first? must really tell them your expectations. after delivery, good to have someone else supervise them and correct them on your behalf.
 

llcyahoo

Member
i called agency to tell them wat i want, aft delivery dh work, only me, bb, ds1 n nanny at home. So i dun think i can hv enough rest. sigh.
 

uddermummy

Well-Known Member
do try to interview the cl face to face and show her that you mean business! also good to know if you can get along with her.

I v stupid cos I had a feeling i wouldn't get along with the CL but i still went ahead cos i was worried i wouldn't have help.
 

llcyahoo

Member
do try to interview the cl face to face and show her that you mean business! also good to know if you can get along with her.

I very stupid cos I had a feeling i wouldn't get along with the CL but i still went ahead cos i was worried i wouldn't have help.
think thur agency i wldn't get to see her until the day she came my hse aft birth leh.
 
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