Any malay/muslim mummies ard???

Ain1707

Ain1707

Member
Yup. Its an injection given once in every 3 mths. So you are protected against pregnancy within that period. Its 99.4% effective but for yourself to become fertile balik takes 6mths to 1.5 years after the last injection. Hmmm.. Tot of taking pills tapi takut lupa2 ah.. Hehe :) withdrawal method eh lagi tk brani. Hehehe..
 
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PRINCESSES

Member
Ain1707 said:
Yup. Its an injection given once in every 3 mths. So you are protected against pregnancy within that period. Its 99.4% effective but for yourself to become fertile balik takes 6mths to 1.5 years after the last injection. Hmmm.. Tot of taking pills tapi takut lupa2 ah.. Hehe :) withdrawal method eh lagi tk brani. Hehehe..
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Salam AIN.. Usually contraceptive methods like implants, injects n pills have their side effects.. Correct me if I'm wrong.. Not to scare u but that's wat I heard too From many of my acquaintances... And some in the long run are expensive hehe .. Like my sis, she took the pills, one time tu dia lupa n then tau2 sangkut... Plus she gained weight!! Lau withdrawal method, usually kena depend on mr hubby to initiate the withdrawal la .. Hehehe so far me n hub since married In 2002 been using withdrawal method.. Alhamdulillah no accidents.. Semua we plan ourselves ;)
Best u consult the doc first n discuss with hubby which method both of u prefer.. :)
 
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PuTRi

Member
Hi. Im new here. I am super stressed out and i dont know who i can talk to. I hope there is someone who can enlighten me over this issue. My story is a bit complicated, do hear me out...

My Story

Im single & got into an 'Accident' with my bf. Being in this community i fear what my parents will do when they find out. Problem is; both of us is financially not stable yet. BF just lost his job due to misunderstand/politics at work. As for me, once i got Preg - my health goes down immediately wt constant vomit/nausea/weak/mood/etc i am unable to go out to work as a Sales Person & i meet clients by riding my scooter over to their office/home/etc. So for the past 3-mths, i hv been home bound & not earn any commission (basically im broke now)

My BF is overly excited to know that he is gonna be a father. In fact, before this 'accident' happens, my bf had discussed wt his family to come propose to me at the end of May - but he lost his job that mth and his dad got angry - so it never happen for us.

Currently i am @ 13week. My EDD is 31 Mar 2013. Just last Thurs my BF spoke to his dad again abt our marriage. Problem is - the earliest he can promise me is by Dec we 'Nikah' as he will only start his new job only in Oct. By then - i will be at 6-mths preg! Now i alrdy hv a baby bump. Im worried tat by that time will be too late. My parents surely will figure out why after 3mths++ im still sick with 'gastric/stomach flu'...

I dont know what to do. Im afraid if i told my parents, my mom will kick me out. I am alrdy so weak & mummy always been feeding me & cook for me. We have not attend marriage course as both of us are broke.

What i need to know, is there any law that state the stage of pregnancy hukum & haram with nikah. When im younger, i heard if pregnant tak sah if nikah. Then i heard another says if the baby is a girl, after a certain months cannot include fathers name although he is the biological dad. Is there something such as kahwin hutang, so we can forward the wedding nearer, but pay back like in installments? These are the few qns running in my mind now which i dunno from who to get the answers from...

I hope there be someone who can enlighten me wt my delima. Thank You.
 
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diza

Member
I am not be the best person to give advice but to be honest your only solution is to talk to your parents and he has to talk to his parents. Whatever the outcome, both of you have to accept the consequences even if your own family disown you. In life, I always believe everything happens for a reason and our fate has been sealed even before we were born. Even if you guys can't afford a wedding reception, just do the wajib which is solemnisation. Abt halal or haram to nikah when you're pregnant and Abt the bin or binte, best is to ask MUIS. He gave you this challenge coz He knows you can handle it. Insya-Allah, everything will fall into place. Most importantly is seek help from your family members...
 
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RamblingMummy

Member
Hi putri, some ulama differ in their opinion on getting married while pregnancy. For us, we follow mazhab syafi'e. Hope this link clears ur doubt http://ustazlove.com/blog/2011/04/soal-jawab-bernikah-dengan-wanita-mengandung/#

From what i knw, based on a hadith by Rasulullah S.A.W. , the child cannot have the father's name as the child is considered to have no relation to the father. Even if u marry the biological father, the relationship they will hv is tht of a stepfather n stepchild.

I think it is best to let ur parents knw. I know it must b very difficult to do so but u hv to let them knw. Eventually they'll find out. U r already in ur 13th week. They will knw coz u'll b delivering in ur 37th - 40th week. Ppl make mistakes n the best thing to do is learn frm it n move on. Parents will get angry, but for awhile becoz they love their child more.

You can choose to nikah 1st at ROMM. Since u r aready pregnant, u need not go for the marriage prep course. They will hv another course for u to go thru after u deliver. In the meantime, ROMM will hold on to ur marriage cert till u complete the course.

I hope this helps. N i hope Allah gives u the strength n courage for u to speak to ur parents abt it.

We r always here to hear u out.
 
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Iqa

Member
PuTRi dear,u can also check about nikah gantung..in short,its u nikah first,da save up then buat majlis..Stay strong dear..Insyallah everything's gg 2 b alright dear..
 
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diza

Member
Salam ladies...

I just gave birth to a healthy baby boy, Muhammad Haziq Aiman, yesterday morning at 0039. Right now both my husband and I are trying to adjust ourselves.. First time parents so mcm kekok sikit. And my mom pon tak reti sangat Abt baby coz I'm her only child. So I hope all of you will give me wonderful tips when I need them k.
 
lizasaifi

lizasaifi

Member
Salam diza

Congrats on ur newborn baby. How was d labour like since u are also first time mom? Care to share? I'm a first time mom too n having a girl in December. Feeling quite anxious tapi excited jugak. U rest well ok.

To PuTRi
Iqa is rite...there is a nikah gantung n u can enquire abt it too...u juz be strong n stay positive for d sake of ur unborn baby...n do pls tell ur parents cuz sooner or ltr they will find out when u can't hide ur bump anymore...remember Allah tests us cuz He loves us...so be strong ok
 
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PuTRi

Member
Congrats Diza on ur Newborn. How does it feels to be a mother?

Thanks Liza. My parents r quite ignorant. I vomitted almost evry mornin/dinner time. My bump are really showing. I hv always a weak body since young and freq fall sick. Mom tot it might be cancer. -.-"'
They never quite tot the possibility...

My bf are afraid as ever. His oct new job call and announce some changes to his salary so he forgo it as the cut was like 1/3 of original offer. So hes back trying to secure another job. He said he can confidently propose to me once he buy the ring. Haiz...

I am comtemplating to inform my parents but i may get him into alot of trouble. I dunno how to face this n thinking too much into tis gives me throbbing headaches.

And im like suffering tru tis pregnancy. Hardly wake up feeling fresh. I cant eat any medicines/supplements. I get even more sick aft swallowing the pills. *cries*
Now my whole tummy is itching. My experience friends ask me to apply johnson & Johnson Baby Oil as my stomach is streching n applyin oil will reduce the strechmarks. Its the most cheapest n effective compare to butter something brand.

Btw - mind me asking. If im not wrong - nikah gantung is nikah 1st than wedding. Im not thinking of kenduri at all. Just a small majlis makan2x for close family members jer.
 
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adlinzul

Member
diza said:
Salam ladies...

I just gave birth to a healthy baby boy, Muhammad Haziq Aiman, yesterday morning at 0039. Right now both my husband and I are trying to adjust ourselves.. First time parents so mcm kekok sikit. And my mom pon tak reti sangat Abt baby coz I'm her only child. So I hope all of you will give me wonderful tips when I need them k.
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congrats..so ur baby bf ? take care dear
 
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adlinzul

Member
PuTRi said:
Congrats Diza on ur Newborn. How does it feels to be a mother?

Thanks Liza. My parents r quite ignorant. I vomitted almost evry mornin/dinner time. My bump are really showing. I hv always a weak body since young and freq fall sick. Mom tot it might be cancer. -.-"'
They never quite tot the possibility...




My bf are afraid as ever. His oct new job call and announce some changes to his salary so he forgo it as the cut was like 1/3 of original offer. So hes back trying to secure another job. He said he can confidently propose to me once he buy the ring. Haiz...

I am comtemplating to inform my parents but i may get him into alot of trouble. I dunno how to face this n thinking too much into tis gives me throbbing headaches.

And im like suffering tru tis pregnancy. Hardly wake up feeling fresh. I cant eat any medicines/supplements. I get even more sick aft swallowing the pills. *cries*
Now my whole tummy is itching. My experience friends ask me to apply johnson & Johnson Baby Oil as my stomach is streching n applyin oil will reduce the strechmarks. Its the most cheapest n effective compare to butter something brand.

Btw - mind me asking. If im not wrong - nikah gantung is nikah 1st than wedding. Im not thinking of kenduri at all. Just a small majlis makan2x for close family members jer.
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helo dearie... dnt tink negative tink positive ya..undestand how u feel..tapi till when u wanna suffer?
kecian yg dlm perut tu sayang..dia tak bersalah.. y dont u call the helpline ? prob they can help u dear...
do somthing k coz if u strez yg kat dalam tu lagi kesian...take carez
 
P

PRINCESSES

Member
Salam putri
I agree wit what most mummies' point of view for your situation...
I believe every problem has it's solution...
And the most important thing now for u to do is confide n tell your parents about this in a calm manner... Get the bf parents involved too in the discussion cos u can't hide forever.. Baby is growing and tummy definitely getting bigger.. Nasi dah menjadi bubur n theres no point regretting or blaming one another. I'm sure your parents n his will be able to discuss this open mindedly n be able to accept whatever that has happen.. Be strong k for the lil one in you... Take care..
 
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feera

Member
Alhamdulillah I have gave birth to a baby boy on 27th Sept at 8.39am!! Natural birth with assistance & no epi. :)
 
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