Anything under the sun - CHAT

Angelmum

Moderator
On top of special needs problem, govt also made me stressed with domestic helper issues.

Made me work cos getting finacial assistance was too hard .... that time cap at $1500/household income. In order to work, I hired FDW .... most of my salary gone to paying for a live-in maid .... paid over a thousand each month yet no guarantee maid kind, responsible and willing to help my special needs princess + do housework.


If any of your child diagnosed (by hospital) with medical condition but not eligible for funds/financial assistance to buy equipment, strollers, etc … PM Angelmum, I may be able to direct you for assistance. We try to help each other by sharing info and support.


This forum kind of quiet ......
 

i1babes

Member
sorry to post here ..tot don want to open new thread since u say chat anything under sun..:)

would like to ask - do mummy here got any SLP to recomment ?
my son now tube feeding .. every month hv to gg kk for speech threphy .. but i found kk 's SLP SEEM LIKE ...NO GOOD ..:( i think im wasting time n money there althought is cheaper then private ...
my baby hv swallowing problem , dr say he might hv some rare gene problem , still hv to observe 2 more month .
 
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Angelmum

Moderator
sorry to post here ..tot don want to open new thread since u say chat anything under sun..:)

would like to ask - do mummy here got any SLP to recomment ?
my son now tube feeding .. every month hv to gg kk for speech threphy .. but i found kk 's SLP SEEM LIKE ...NO GOOD ..:( i think im wasting time n money there althought is cheaper then private ...
my baby hv swallowing problem , dr say he might hv some rare gene problem , still hv to observe 2 more month .
How old is your son?
Having SLP every month but without practising what you've learnt is not good enough.
If he really has rare genetic problem, get a medical diagnose ....the speech and occupational therapy would advise you how to let him swallow as well answer tube feeding issues.
 

i1babes

Member
my baby only 3 months... is nothing tp learn .. go there ,those SLP ppl just c can he swallow , then tell me "ok still very weak , ..come next appoitment , then v c got improvement or not "
this is why i would like to seek for other SLP cos atleast tell me how to improve or train ( they just say cant do anything)
only by time ... i don want just sit here and wait for "time" to help my baby ...

and about the tube feeding .... i think the homecare nurse is more expert ..
 
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Angelmum

Moderator
my baby only 3 months... is nothing tp learn .. go there ,those SLP ppl just c can he swallow , then tell me "ok still very weak , ..come next appoitment , then v c got improvement or not "
this is why i would like to seek for other SLP cos atleast tell me how to improve or train ( they just say cant do anything)
only by time ... i don want just sit here and wait for "time" to help my baby ...

and about the tube feeding .... i think the homecare nurse is more expert ..

since the homecare nurse more expert in tube feeding .... why waste your time on SLT?

Maybe you PM Rae or yummymummy, our 'expert' experience special needs mummies for advice.
 

i1babes

Member
yes i did pm kj mummy . cos she hv a gd SlP WHO TRAINING HIS SON NOW , BUT I THINK SHE DIDNT LOG IN TO MUMMUSG ...(
 

luvbene

Member
hi, maybe you can seek 2nd opinion? cos my ben has swallow problem during 5th month till around 8months to 9 months old.. we also go to KK cos he kept "merlioning" went to KK in jul and then august... Nothing has been done.. same thing observe .. observe... Fed up we to NUH.... he was Hosp for 1month.... cos he is very thin growth issues... he got serious laryngomalacia meaning Laryngomalacia results in partial airway obstruction, most commonly causing a characteristic high-pitched squeaking noise on inhalation (inspiratory stridor). wen to PICU for 2 days... etc..... now is ok!!! Thanks to Team of NUH!!....
 

Angelmum

Moderator
Re: Introduction + child's Medical condition

To all
special.gifneeds.gifparents.gif
2012 is at the door.
Remember
Life is short, break the rules,
Forgive quickly,
love truly, treat yourself well,
laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that made you smile.

May the dawning of this New Year,
fill your heart with new hopes,
open up new horizons and bring for you promises of brighter tomorrows.
May you have a joyful New Year!
 
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katz

New Member
Re: Introduction + child's Medical condition

Hi, just logged in and saw this thread. My girl also went to SLT at Kandang Kerbau Hospital for a few rounds (after queueing and queueing) but we gave up because it was always the same old thing - oh just monitor, let her play with her food etc etc! Sign... I also know ...

We struggled with trying to orally feed her for many years. Finally a speech therapist told me where to find a good speech therapist who specialised in 'feeding' problems. She's Meng Yi Yui from Kaleidescope - altho' I dont't know if she's still there. It's quite costly because its private. Its worth it because my daughter finally started to eat after about half a year going to Yi Yui and doing our 'homework' (oral motor exercises with tools) diligently at home.

Hope this helps...
 
Planning for another kid but my outermost concern who can help me to look after my special kid. Not comfy engaging a maid as we only need some1 to bring her to sch and appointment. Haiz.... *headache*
 

Angelmum

Moderator
Planning for another kid but my outermost concern who can help me to look after my special kid. Not comfy engaging a maid as we only need some1 to bring her to sch and appointment. Haiz.... *headache*
Hi!
You still have an option to stay home so not too bad lah.
I was financial drained after I stayed home for 5 years. No choice, had to force myself to hire a stranger-maid. No relatives or in-law offered (sounded, drop hints also no use) to supervise the maid so kid and maid are 'home alone'. If you really need to work, would be nice to have somebody to supervise the maid.

Nobody or govt will care what happens to us. We need money for our child and the unknown future. Nothing is free in Spore.
 

Angelmum

Moderator
I took my princess out for lunch few days ago in a food court, in a quite newly opened shopping centre.
When I wheeled my girl to the table, she was giving out a scream .... just once only and short. A mid-age lady started to lecture my girl for being noisy. Her intolerance to persons with special needs is obvious. She can't take a step back and spare a thought for a big girl and sitting in push chair. It is a food court, a bit noisy, unlike a restaurant which is quieter so actually her scream wasn't that deafening ... didn't attract unusual attention.

I stared at her but she continued her irritating gumbles so I said, if you can't stand her, sit elsewhere!
Her action is like telling me I didn't restrain my girl in public places, allowed her to scream (once only) so if I want to take her out, make sure she is well 'trained' and behave properly? If it is so easy, why the special school let her behave this way? There must be a reason why certain people don't understand simple instructions ... causing 'disturbance'. Am I suppose to beat my girl to please that woman? It is just like people love to comment "so big already still on stroller or so big already should feed herself" blah blah.


I read this from another forum: "It saddens me greatly that people are not aware that some of the things that seem like bad behavior to outsiders occur for reasons in those with special needs. My nephew, now deceased, could not stand loud noises and certain tones. His hearing was extremely sensitive, and he would start screaming at times because it hurt him. It happened on at least one occasion that a shopper felt the need to stare daggers at my sister and her family in a big box store that is always loud. If the woman would have taken ten seconds that day to ask about my nephew she would have discovered a new friend in him. Autism was not his primary diagnosis, but he displayed many behaviors on the spectrum."


Another posted: "Parenting is hard work even with children without special needs. We have several family members on both sides with various special needs and it's heart-breaking how cruel and judgmental society, as a whole, can be toward others. It doesn't cost anything to be kind and non-judgmental to others because EVERYONE is dealing with something. I have lost count how many times I've offered a helping hand to a complete stranger and I will continue to do so. I don't always have the perfect solution or "magic" fix (although my kiddies think I do ;-) but I know that compassion, patience and understanding go a long way. I try to live in such a way that even if I'm not able to help, that I never cause harm.

I hope that someone reads your link and realizes they might be the person making snap judgments about others and reflect on that for a moment."



If my child can choose to be normal, would I have her as an abnormal person and subject myself to all sorts of unhappy and unkind situations? Not forgetting how 'helpful' our government is to those born with special needs. So many things lacking, so little support and consideration. :weconfused:
 
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Angelmum

Moderator
Happy Mother's Day to Special Needs Mums

Mother's Day is about shining light on the women that take on the responsibility of raising our future.



Whether our special needs children have Down Syndrome, Autism, or one of the thousands of other conditions and afflictions that exist out there, we mothers walk through life with hearts carved with our children’s names. Just like any mum, we would walk through flames for our children, and some of the situations we’ve faced with our children through the years have been so hot and intense, we pretty much have walked through flames to get them the help they need.

I want to take this opportunity to wish all mums a very happy Mother’s Day and especially the mums of children with special needs.
Many of your children may not be able to tell you happy Mother’s Day because they can not talk or even have the mental capacity to know that it is Mother’s Day but that is okay because as mums of children with special needs, we know our children love us back a zillion fold, whether they can articulate it or not. :001_302:


 
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Angelmum

Moderator
I took my princess out for lunch few days ago in a food court, in a quite newly opened shopping centre.
When I wheeled my girl to the table, she was giving out a scream .... just once only and short. A mid-age lady started to lecture my girl for being noisy. Her intolerance to persons with special needs is obvious. She can't take a step back and spare a thought for a big girl and sitting in push chair. It is a food court, a bit noisy, unlike a restaurant which is quieter so actually her scream wasn't that deafening ... didn't attract unusual attention.

I stared at her but she continued her irritating gumbles so I said, if you can't stand her, sit elsewhere!
Her action is like telling me I didn't restrain my girl in public places, allowed her to scream (once only) so if I want to take her out, make sure she is well 'trained' and behave properly? If it is so easy, why the special school let her behave this way? There must be a reason why certain people dont't understand simple instructions ... causing 'disturbance'. Am I suppose to beat my girl to please that woman? It is just like people love to comment "so big already still on stroller or so big already should feed herself" blah blah. :weconfused:
Below are copied, to read in depth, click link (Julia Roberts)

We have the one or few that really bug us, most of us agree that most people who say these things aren’t mean spirited people. They simply don’t understand what they are saying is hurtful, annoying or bothersome. Maybe if we share this post with people in each of our lives, we’ll educate people on what we’d find helpful NOT to say to us

- God only gives us what we can handle; He must think you two are special parents
- Using the word “Austistics” to describe people on the spectrum.
- Remember, you have to take care of yourself, so you can take care of them.
- When looking at my son using a reverse walker, “Wow, we need to get one of those for my (typical) 10 mo old so he/she can walk better!”
- They’ll EAT when they’re ready. They’re not going to starve to death.
- Pointing out that my non-walker shouldn’t be in a stroller, not knowing he can’t walk.
- That my child is just playing us.
- They just need discipline.
- You two are amazing for adopting two special-needs children. They are SO LUCKY.”
- Family and friends that downplay a diagnosis.
- For a child that has tics, saying, “Do you think she is doing it for attention?”
- Anything that implies that sensory issues are not real or that we’re playing into their “fear.”
- When people say they are sorry or offer condolences for a child with disabilities.
- Any comment that starts with “If you would just…”
- What’s wrong with her?
- Don’t worry she’ll catch up.
- She’ll grow out of it.
- Is your other son/daughter “normal”? or “Are your other kids ok? (As if to imply the child with the disability is not?)
- You are so much stronger than me and/or I don’t know how you do it.

The YES! SAY THIS!
- I’ll be over on Saturday to help do laundry/wash dishes/scrub floors!
- How are you doing? (and actually listen to the answer)
- How Can I Help?
- I just made an extra dinner when I was cooking for us, can I drop it by now?
- I know you had an appointment yesterday, how did it go?
- Want to drop your kids off with us for an hour or so? (Because people are afraid to take care of my kids, when this happens, it feels like acceptance and support.)
- I’m on my way to the store, want me to grab you some milk or bread?
- I’m coming over to watch the kids right now for an hour so you can take a nap.
- We’re on our way to take care of the yard work.
These are just a sampling of what some Support for Special Needs parents preferred…obviously, we’re all different and some on either list may or may not resonate with a particular parent of kids with special needs.
 
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Angelmum

Moderator
Lack proper parenting and disciplinary

It seems like as my girl grows older, more and more people like to judge us with unkind remarks and giving me the black/disgusting face - I'm a lousy mother who 放纵我的孩子 疏于管教 lack proper parenting and disciplinary action in public places. :weconfused:
parenting special needs.jpg

Govt talking about graciousness and an inclusive society. Can you feel these?
 

Cookies123

New Member
I'm wondering if anyone here organise play date for our special ones before ?
Thinking it might be quite gd for the children to have friend outside of their sch and without being judge :)
 

Angelmum

Moderator
Stroller canopy

Just venting, wonder other parents, both normal and special needs encountered this.
A clip on canopy for my girl's push chair cost US$250. There are people in the mrt and lift who like to hold my push chair canopy. If it is broken (fragile), are they going to pay me US$250? Nobody would believe a canopy cost that much. Last week, I was in a lift, a lady held on to the canopy, I said "this is not for you to hold". She said "I worry I would fall".... I almost want to blow on her, ridiculous! When the lady left, a man walked in and first thing he did was to hold the canopy before moving in .... my 'delicate' canopy has become a support for them??


An add-on stroller/special needs buggy basket isn't cheap too. See cost


 
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