Hiaz problem wif PIL..

[TeenyWeeny]

Recently just had some problem with in laws. Actually I had been getting on fine wif them. My MIL quit her job to help me take care of my gal. As I am working shift which is 2 day work and 2 days off cycle, she will only need to look after my gal when I work. She will come to my house to take care of her as we stay very near(in laws staying in AMK too). It was also my FIL who suggest to look after at my place. After taking care for a few mth now they wanted me to bring my gal to their place. They did no discuss this wif me. Subsequently, I had a dispute wif my hubby over our own issue. I was angry and told my hubby I wanna go back my mum place. He ask me to go ahead, then I go ahead.
The next day my hubby call and say sorry to me, but now his parents want us to bring our gal to my in law house to jaga if not they dun wanna look after her anymore! I ask why then he said that his father is angry that I go back to my mum place wif daughter after dispute and it is wrong for daughter in law to go home. I was super angry cause this was 2 seprate issue and they claim that I always do this when it was my first time.
Now LL bring to their place. Their place got nothing, no toys, no walker, full of FIL renovation equipments and the worse part is he smoke!!
I really donno wat to do and there is no room for discussion. Furthermore my mother just started to take care of one bb, really at a lost.:bmad:

 

[Ting]

how abt childcare?
have a talk with hubby, let him know your concerns.
if can, place in CC is good too, baby can learn more n hv frens to interact with.

 

[TeenyWeeny]

Discuss wif him but he only comfortable to let our parents take care. I'm asking my mum to talk to the bb's mother and see if she can get other nanny. Really very pai seh to her. Last min this thing crop up. Hiaz~~

 

[Phoebii Cheng]

It's better to let ur mom take care, in my opinion, cos ur father in law smoke....so it's not too good for ur gal and plus ur PIL place has lots of renovation things, ur gal might want to touch here touch there.......so it is dangerous..........

Talk again to ur hubby lor, if really want to let ur PIL take care mayb provide transport for them to come to ur place? or ask them to stay over at ur place on the days they r suppose to take care of ur gal? easier right?

 

[stonston]

I think since your mum can help it's better to get your own mother's help. If my mum willing to quit to look after my son, i'll be more than happy cos right now she's reading up on childhood education and trying to find engaging activites for my son.

i'm sure ur hb is aware of the dangers at ur ILs' place right? renovation tools can kill a kid if it accident drop on the kid! and smoking is definitely a no-no for kids!

another option is flexi-childcare. since u do not work everyday, u can opt to onli leave baby there when u need to and they'll pro-rate.

 

[pink_daisy]

Recently just had some problem with in laws. Actually I had been getting on fine with them. My mother in law quit her job to help me take care of my gal. As I am working shift which is 2 day work and 2 days off cycle, she will only need to look after my gal when I work. She will come to my house to take care of her as we stay very near(in laws staying in AMK too). It was also my father in law who suggest to look after at my place. After taking care for a few month now they wanted me to bring my gal to their place. They did no discuss this with me. Subsequently, I had a dispute with my hubby over our own issue. I was angry and told my hubby I wanna go back my mum place. He ask me to go ahead, then I go ahead.
The next day my hubby call and say sorry to me, but now his parents want us to bring our gal to my in law house to jaga if not they dont wanna look after her anymore! I ask why then he said that his father is angry that I go back to my mum place with daughter after dispute and it is wrong for daughter in law to go home. I was super angry cause this was 2 seprate issue and they claim that I always do this when it was my first time.
Now LL bring to their place. Their place got nothing, no toys, no walker, full of father in law renovation equipments and the worse part is he smoke!!
I really donno what to do and there is no room for discussion. Furthermore my mother just started to take care of one baby, really at a lost.:bmad:

y not try talking to your parents-inlaw? if really no choice, then let ur own mum take care.. where does ur mum stay? oso amk? if nearby then not a problem..

 

[TeenyWeeny]

It's better to let your mom take care, in my opinion, cos your father in law smoke....so it's not too good for your gal and plus your parent in law place has lots of renovation things, your gal might want to touch here touch there.......so it is dangerous..........

Talk again to your hubby , if really want to let your parent in law take care mayb provide transport for them to come to your place? or ask them to stay over at your place on the days they are suppose to take care of your gal? easier right?

We had been transporting my MIL to and fro. She even stayover during my night shift. Now they are the one who wanna change. MIL actually dun mind coming. Is my FIL who refuse to let her come and insist my gal to be taken care in their place.

 

[TeenyWeeny]

I think since your mum can help it's better to get your own mother's help. If my mum willing to quit to look after my son, i'll be more than happy cos right now she's reading up on childhood education and trying to find engaging activites for my son.

i'm sure your husband is aware of the dangers at your ILs' place right? renovation tools can kill a kid if it accident drop on the kid! and smoking is definitely a no-no for kids!

another option is flexi-childcare. since you do not work everyday, you can opt to onli leave baby there when you need to and they'll pro-rate.

Hubby are listen to parents type. He feel it's ok. If I'm gonna bring up more will sure blow up one.

 

[TeenyWeeny]

why not try talking to your parents-inlaw? if really no choice, then let your own mum take care.. where does your mum stay? also amk? if nearby then not a problem..

My mum stay at west side, very far. She just spoke to MIL yesterday. MIL ask me to tarhan for a while she will talk to FIL. My hubby just told me that FIL still disagree. My mum told MIL that during day shift come my place then we do not need to wake my gal early in the morning to go their place and wake her up again to bring back home. Night shift can let them take care at their place as she sleep most of the time. FIL still disagree. I dun understand why can't they spare a thought for the poor baby. Who likes to be wake up in the middle of their sleep!! I tired nvm but I heart pain for my gal.

 

[stonston]

i think the most impt thing now is ur gal is growing and she will be mobile and curious to touch everything.

ask ur hb this: will he onli be determined to let ur gal stay at home after there is an accident to prove tt the tools are dangerous?????f

 

[Ting]

i agree with stonston.
dont let something happen alr then regret n try to amend for it.
if ya FIL still insist in doing it, why not consider CC then?
think u can actually choose certain days that u wanna put her in n they charge with pro rates.
sometimes, u just need to be firm for the well being of your child.

 

[adoncia]

i feel that, the reason your fil want ur ger to go over is bcuz ur mil looks after her. so, he will need someone to serve him as well. hence, he insisted that ur ger to go over so that ur mil don't have to leave the hse and not serving him... my god father is just like that. he is a irritating freak... i can see that ur mil is somehow force to bring ur ger over... i think u all shld talk to ur fil instead of mil... it's very dangerous when there are hazard equipments at home.. even normal home appliances can be dangerous already. what's more of renovation equipments? it could be even more dangerous...

another option is flexi-childcare. since you do not work everyday, you can opt to onli leave baby there when you need to and they'll pro-rate.

is there such option??? does it applies to all cc?

 

[elmo493]

Whatever decision you make, it must be for the best of your girl and be fair to the mummy of the baby whom you mother help to take care.

Your problem might not be solve even if your mum help to take care your baby but it will certainly create a problem to that mummy.

 

[stonston]

is there such option??? does it applies to all cc?

most CCs will hv this open. those i checked out last yr for my boy all had this option of flexi CC.

 

[Ting]

is there such option??? does it applies to all cc?

yeah, most CCs hv this options.
u can ask the CC u wanna enrol in.

 

[TeenyWeeny]

I will check out the CC u mentioned. For my hubby he is not willing to fock out money if not taken care by our parents. Spoke to MIL myself and she told me my FIL told her if she come my house to jaga my gal, my MIL no need to go home liao. I simply feel that he is very childish and selfish. Give up liao!!

 

[stonston]

I will check out the CC you mentioned. For my hubby he is not willing to fock out money if not taken care by our parents. Spoke to mother in law myself and she told me my father in law told her if she come my house to jaga my gal, my mother in law no need to go home . I simply feel that he is very childish and selfish. Give up !!

Actually i symphatise with ur MIL. she's doing her part by looking after ur gal. but she's being controlled by ur FIL!
i tink ur FIL is those MCP type, wife must stay at home n serve him. or his tinking could be 'we got our own house y must so pai mia go ppl house jus to take care of their kid? they wan us take care then they bring the kid over la!'

anyway, seems like ur hb inherited some stubborness from ur FIL. tok to ur hb again. tell him it's not tt u dun wanna bring baby over. if the renovation tools are all kept properly (like in storeroom) and ur FIL stop smoking at home, would u be ok to let baby go over? if yes, then tell ur hb he got 2 options. 1 is persuade his father to allow his mum to come over, 2 is tell him dad to clean up his house!

 

[Phoebii Cheng]

I will check out the CC you mentioned. For my hubby he is not willing to fock out money if not taken care by our parents. Spoke to mother in law myself and she told me my father in law told her if she come my house to jaga my gal, my mother in law no need to go home . I simply feel that he is very childish and selfish. Give up !!

I think if ur hubby dun want to fork out the money for the flexi CC, then he is selfish lor......mayb guys r like tht huh? sometimes they cannot b bothered by minor things....like my hubby too.....we r more concerned for our child's well being and development

Hope u hv decided on who to take care of ur DD, think carefully abt the pros and cons even for CC, and once u hv decided, then u hv to learn how to let go.....hope all turns out well for u :tlaugh:

 

[Ting]

I will check out the CC you mentioned. For my hubby he is not willing to fock out money if not taken care by our parents. Spoke to mother in law myself and she told me my father in law told her if she come my house to jaga my gal, my mother in law no need to go home . I simply feel that he is very childish and selfish. Give up !!

your hubby seems pretty selfish.
its for his own child leh.
why not u talk to ya FIL straight?
tell him your concerns lo.
say u dont mind to bring your girl over, but just tt the reno stuffs n the second hand smokin is very bad for your girl!
is your girl the only grandchild? if so, he shld be quite concern over it ma.
if not, ask ya MIL stay with u lo if she dun mind. hee.
JMHO.

 

[deborahlkl]

Wendy

sorry to hear that... if i were you, i will not beg them anymore... go to beg your mummy, she will help you.. it difficult to ask her not to take care of the other baby now, you can ask her try to find other nanny for her and ask your mum to tell that baby's parents she can only jaga for one more week. i know it's very very selfish to do so but your little princess have the poriorty... all mummies are selfish towards their own child.. once your mum can take care for you, all troubles gone...