How much did you give to your IN LAW or PARENT who is looking after ur baby ??

[Edwinie]

my mum bought a 5-room flat. she didn't change the tiles. only gave the 2 toilets a total renovation (toilet always need to renovate because this will make you feel the place is cleaner, i think. lol!). she painted all her walls.
furniture + electronics (tv, players) + renovate 2 toilets + kitchen cabinets = ~30k. she didn't change the tiles, that's why cheaper. this is the price early 2010.

my mil wants to give her kitchen + toilet a total renovation, means including new tiles too. the most expensive quote was 10k. my fil said it's because of the rising prices now so all the shops take the chance to raise their prices... >.< but they are still sourcing around for cheaper prices.

just giving you a rough idea how much it will cost... i got probs with it too. after saving for deposit for home, still need to save for renovation.. i want to renovate 1 time nice nice, spend all the money by good quality stuff. then can stay for next 20 or more years.

i agree with noel about the way to deal with your mil. only you can help yourself. she's not going to help you when u get your new home. sometimes, need to be selfish a bit when it comes to money. you have limited resources hence you need to squirrel all your money to your savings as much as possible! just explain to her nicely, hope she will understand. maybe if she is the analytical kind, give her a breakdown of your pay and tell her how hard it is for you. that is if you are willing to disclose your salary

 

[ling.er]

my mum bought a 5-room flat. she didn't change the tiles. only gave the 2 toilets a total renovation (toilet always need to renovate because this will make you feel the place is cleaner, i think. lol!). she painted all her walls.
furniture + electronics (tv, players) + renovate 2 toilets + kitchen cabinets = ~30k. she didn't change the tiles, that's why cheaper. this is the price early 2010.

my mil wants to give her kitchen + toilet a total renovation, means including new tiles too. the most expensive quote was 10k. my fil said it's because of the rising prices now so all the shops take the chance to raise their prices... >.< but they are still sourcing around for cheaper prices.

just giving you a rough idea how much it will cost... i got probs with it too. after saving for deposit for home, still need to save for renovation.. i want to renovate 1 time nice nice, spend all the money by good quality stuff. then can stay for next 20 or more years.

i agree with noel about the way to deal with your mil. only you can help yourself. she's not going to help you when u get your new home. sometimes, need to be selfish a bit when it comes to money. you have limited resources hence you need to squirrel all your money to your savings as much as possible! just explain to her nicely, hope she will understand. maybe if she is the analytical kind, give her a breakdown of your pay and tell her how hard it is for you. that is if you are willing to disclose your salary

B4 i start work i did told her about my role & pay .. Haven 1mth lo dun tell mi she forget.. She gt recieve lettle from HDB i think she also knw tat saving we plan tat is for reno & furintu .. Im angry @ 1st is $500 she think nt enough while i alrd count nice nice for her alrd Y nt enough ><" MY son dun eat good fish & meat wat

 

[Ting]

ling'er, for the infant care, how much is the rate now?

 

[ling.er]

ling'er, for the infant care, how much is the rate now?

I nt sure... as wat my cousin told mi after subsidy around $300-$400.. i will check jelapang wan.. Other mummy say there a good one there.. Juz nice i stay ther ^^ are u goin to put ur bb @ infant care too?

 

[Ting]

I nt sure... as wat my cousin told mi after subsidy around $300-$400.. i will check jelapang wan.. Other mummy say there a good one there.. Juz nice i stay ther ^^ are u goin to put ur bb @ infant care too?

haha no, my girl is alr 4 yo. she's been in CC since 18mths. for infant care, there is $600 subsidy for wrking mothers, so if possible look for one below 1K or so. and make sure the check the environment for the infant care, not all are good and reliable.

 

[noelsmum]

Look at First Skool by NTUC, they seem pretty good. I've got a friend that's head of the one of the centres.

 

[Ting]

Look at First Skool by NTUC, they seem pretty good. I've got a friend that's head of the one of the centres.

not all branches are good. ling'er do check up b4 u enrol.

 

[ling.er]

haha no, my girl is alr 4 yo. she's been in CC since 18mths. for infant care, there is $600 subsidy for wrking mothers, so if possible look for one below 1K or so. and make sure the check the environment for the infant care, not all are good and reliable.

My hubb plan to put some on CC when he 18 mth or more.. So after CNY next yr juz nice lo.. 18-19mth alrd .. I had call up one of the CC after subsidy need $480 ><" though of lookin for 1 about $400 or less wan..

Btw did ur girl make noise or wat in CC? wat the program can share with mi?? Cos i worry son of go CC alrd no one to carry or wat

 

[apollo]

My hubb plan to put some on CC when he 18 mth or more.. So after CNY next yr juz nice lo.. 18-19mth alrd .. I had call up one of the CC after subsidy need $480 ><" though of lookin for 1 about $400 or less wan..

Btw did ur girl make noise or wat in CC? wat the program can share with mi?? Cos i worry son of go CC alrd no one to carry or wat

my son is at hm, not attending sch yet but we seldom carry him. once he started to walk try not to carry him too often.

 

[llcyahoo]

mum used to look aft my son since birth but always showed black face n banging sound n complained $ nt enough. Salary was $1200, gave $500 to her, bal paying for all self n baby expenses. She will be here only mon-fri, till 8pm. cannot take the stress i put him in CC he was 2yrs old, but feel he very ke lian there so end up I resign and looked aft him. So far hv been 6yrs since i resigned.

 

[ling.er]

mum used to look aft my son since birth but always showed black face n banging sound n complained $ nt enough. Salary was $1200, gave $500 to her, bal paying for all self n baby expenses. She will be here only mon-fri, till 8pm. cannot take the stress i put him in CC he was 2yrs old, but feel he very ke lian there so end up I resign and looked aft him. So far hv been 6yrs since i resigned.

Liek tat with your hubb pay able to cope?? Ya my salary tk back also 1200 minus this & tat left nt much + i have to save for my coming 3 yr hus

 

[momi]

Hope you don't mind me asking:
1) I didn't seem to have heard about your hubby's pay. I think you only mentioned your pay is $1200 and the breakdown for that. How much is he earning?
2) Are you staying with your in-laws? Does your mother-in-law cook for you and hubby too?

 

[llcyahoo]

Liek tat with your hubb pay able to cope?? Ya my salary tk back also 1200 minus this & tat left nt much + i have to save for my coming 3 yr hus

tat time my hse and baby came together, so all my hubby pay going for hse, elect bill...we loan everything cos no cash, all pay by credit card, installment, loan fr bank. funiture by installment or take old one fr ppl, v v simple reno for kitchen also loan fr bank. My daily lunch in office is $2/-, walking few bus stops to save $, carry heavy big can of milk powder fr shop near office n take bus hm juz to save few dollars or cents. many many la...u know wat? i can still save $50/mth hehe... oh only buy new clothes when CNY n wear for whole year, no new bag or shoe. only buy when it really cannot tahan (even my boss make noise). anyway the hard time hv past.

 

[ling.er]

Hope you don't mind me asking:
1) I didn't seem to have heard about your hubby's pay. I think you only mentioned your pay is $1200 and the breakdown for that. How much is he earning?
2) Are you staying with your in-laws? Does your mother-in-law cook for you and hubby too?

My hubb tk home pay was about 17-1800 .. we share the amount of $600 ma.. Then he also paying for son medical / diaper / milk powder ..
Yes im stayin with in law.. Yes she did cook for us DINNER** ( Aso simple veg & meat ) Does really cost her so much right??
WHen i pregg tat time hubb already use up his saving . So nw we have to resave . So i plan to give my mother in law $600 As if my pay increase of cos i will give her abit more.. Nw i really cant effort tat much.. As i did count for her.. Is really ENOUGH !!!

 

[momi]

Please don't be offended with my comments, just my personal view.
I don't think you should be 'counting for her' whether $500/$600 is enough. And to be honest, that amount really isn't sufficient for not only looking after your baby but also cooking dinner for both you and hb. You must understand that taking care of baby is a tiring job plus she needs to do housechores and cook. But of course since that's what you and hb can only afford then there's no choice. But don't feel as if you're sacrificing a lot and that she should be thankful.

There are only a few solutions to this now. Either you send to infant care then if you're really tired of all this or have a good talk with your MIL. Explain to her that this is really what you can only afford because of your other expenditure. And please don't compare with your SIL. Your SIL's $600 is only for herself whereas your $500/$600 is for baby, you and your hb.

 

[Ting]

My hubb plan to put some on CC when he 18 mth or more.. So after CNY next yr juz nice lo.. 18-19mth alrd .. I had call up one of the CC after subsidy need $480 ><" though of lookin for 1 about $400 or less wan..

Btw did ur girl make noise or wat in CC? wat the program can share with mi?? Cos i worry son of go CC alrd no one to carry or wat

my daughter is quite alright in CC, only cried abit on n off during the first 2 weeks, after that she was ok. i guess it mainly depends on your child. from young, i trained her to be independent and encourage her to do things on her own, so she is pretty independent and wont asked to carry unless she is feeling grouchy on that morning. In CC, they will tend to teach the children to be independent, so they wont carry your son all the time. as for the CC curriculum, it differs from sch to sch.. so what my girl's sch hv might not apply to the one ur son will/might be attending. actually $480 i think is still OK.. at least still cheaper than what u give ur mil?

 

[apollo]

I agree with momi, since the amount of money include both u n ur hub's dinner, i think is not consider alot. cannot blame ur mil for complaining, cos nowadays everything is expensive, from gas to cooking oil to veg to meat/fishes. 1 small slice or meat/fish can easily cost $10 and that only can feed a family of 4-5 1 meal. you have ur difficulties, ur mil too. u can put ur baby at infant care, but if finance part is a pro, u still have to work it out cos even u put him at IFC, u still have to give ur mil 2-300 mthly cos she is cooking for ur. =)

 

[angiebaby]

ling.er, your mil asking money from you or from ur hubby? as the son of her, he seems disappear from the whole situation, base on ur description, i dun see even his shadow appear anywhere in the picture, it seems like u staying alone with your in law and he is no where to be found.

i mean in in law situation, the husband should always stand up and try to settle the problem, did he share part of the money u give to your in law? why you have to pay everything for baby yourself? did he trying to save money for your future house? i dont understand why in your posts he is like a invisible man who just have the title of husband.

my mom now staying with me and take care of me and she will be taking care of my baby after give birth and im not giving her any single cent, further more, she is paying for all my house food expanses and in future, she will be paying for my baby expanses also, she always say if she died one day keep money also no use, might as well now spend on her grandchild.

i think some people just born stingy and calculative, husbands mother will nvr be able to compare with our own mom, is your condition allow you to move back stay with your mom instead of in law? can she take care of your baby? i mean if as a husband can not act and take the resposibility of a husband, sorry but u have to plan for yourself already.

 

[Ting]

actually, i agree with momi, u cant really compare that $600 your SIL give her. what your SIL give her is her issue, and what u give your MIL is your issue. tgt, both of u take home abt $3000, giving your MIL $500, u both still hv $2500 to spend or so.. so i think, by giving your MIL another extra $100-200 is not too much to ask for. also, plan your expenses wisely, you shld be able to cope. there are ppl who take home less than you n your hubs but still managing well.

 

[candy_ian]

actually i think hor taking care of an infant is very tiring. as a sahm i truly understand how tiring it is and somemore your mil should b at least 50? it's going to tire her even more. even if u put in an infant care every month also 600-800 after subsidy? but of cos if u cannot afford to give her more at the moment mayb u can get hubby to talk to her and let her know thats how much u all can afford currently and will increase once things get more settled.
frankly now i cook for my family 2 adults plus a kid just for dinner each meal cost abt $12-15 liao with is just simple 3 dishes thing. so for the whole month if your mil cooking for 20 days just for u and hubby already $300 like that and maybe your son's meals abt $100 for that month? already $400 gone. so she isn't taking alot either just like $200 for take care of your son?
it's best not to compare bcos after all diff family got diff capability to give like your sil she may have greater financial capaibilty. morever the $ she's giving for her mum is for her mum to save up in case of rainy days?
i'm sure your mil will understand if your hubby tries to explain the whole situation to him.