should i go for union dinner?

[sugarcookie]

All the best deborahlkl! I think you are doing the right thing

 

[1568mummy]

Deborah,

don't you feel a super heavy weight has gone off the shoulders, now that you have decided? ~ now that's happiness in another form....

Good Luck girl!
Good for you to make up your mind!
and I can tell your hubby is a VERY nice hubby....you are one fortunate lady.... :tlaugh:

yup, keep us updated ok? *wink*

Hi mummies...

really thanks for all yr support... yr msg has brighten up my day... thks...

umm.. actually i do agree that my MIL is not the problem maker but i am upset and angry because she didn't protect me... she knows that i didn't do things as my SIL said.. she juz kept quiet and let my SIL put up a big scence... she used to say she treat me like her own DD.. i never expect her to treat me as gd as her own DD, i juz want fairness... haiz.... honestly, i m still very affected whenever i recalled the "big scence" that day... i really angry with them.. i know i should have a big heart as a mother.. but they r really too much.

i know my MIL wants to pactch back.. i just cant force myself to forgive them... after i read yr msg... i m now telling myself to force myself to be nice to them on surface...

last night i talked to my HB finally, i asked," honestly, do u want me to go?" he said," no, because i dont want u to be unhappy." but few mths ago, when we mention abt CNY dinner, i said i might go, and he was happy...

although i decided not to go last night, after reading yr msg, i change my mind now.. i'll listen to u guys.. i should go.. go to show them i have a big heart.. go to show the relative that i m not the problem maker.. go for the sake of my HB...

hey, fellow mummies... i'll update u all how's the dinner next monday...

 

[deborahlkl]

ya.. my shoulder is lighter now...

u r right... he really dotes on me alot... and we went through alot together.. we have been together for 8 yrs.. we laughed, we fought, we broke up, patched back, stay beside one another when he hospitalise and i was sick, we went to holiday together... lots of happy moments... juz a little bit of sad moment...

juz talked to my hubby last night...

i told him striaght to the face, "i m going for the dinner." he looked surprise and said, " no la, i dont want u to go becoz of me and ended up not happy." and i told him, one day i still have to face them, touchwood, if his parents pass away i still have to attend, isn't it? so why not i face it from now? i will juz take it as going for a free dinner... and he said, " since the day they chased u off, they already know they had lost u as their DIL, so i nvr think of forcing u to go" so i told him, "it doesn't matter to me whether they take me as DIL or outsider, i go because of u and our marriage, i dont want to cause any unhappiness btw us becoz of this kind od issue and i dont want my girl to ask me y am i not attending the reunion dinner one day." finally he smiled and said, " i am glad if u r thinking in this way, let's go together then."

after thinking for so long and so much, i realise marriage really can change one's mind... and i wouldn't allow myself to go to the stage where i need to salvage my marriage, i'd rather protect it, maintain it, and improve it..

haiz...women very "xin kou" wor....

 

[kintaro]

i agree with 1568 mummy.. you should get ur hubby to go test water. It not really up to you.. what for go if the sight of you anger your inlaw? But if they really forgotten, you should go cos i believe ur hubby wouldnt feel sandwiched that way

 

[kintaro]

ya.. my shoulder is lighter now...

u r right... he really dotes on me alot... and we went through alot together.. we have been together for 8 yrs.. we laughed, we fought, we broke up, patched back, stay beside one another when he hospitalise and i was sick, we went to holiday together... lots of happy moments... juz a little bit of sad moment...

juz talked to my hubby last night...

i told him striaght to the face, "i m going for the dinner." he looked surprise and said, " no la, i dont want u to go becoz of me and ended up not happy." and i told him, one day i still have to face them, touchwood, if his parents pass away i still have to attend, isn't it? so why not i face it from now? i will juz take it as going for a free dinner... and he said, " since the day they chased u off, they already know they had lost u as their DIL, so i nvr think of forcing u to go" so i told him, "it doesn't matter to me whether they take me as DIL or outsider, i go because of u and our marriage, i dont want to cause any unhappiness btw us becoz of this kind od issue and i dont want my girl to ask me y am i not attending the reunion dinner one day." finally he smiled and said, " i am glad if u r thinking in this way, let's go together then."

after thinking for so long and so much, i realise marriage really can change one's mind... and i wouldn't allow myself to go to the stage where i need to salvage my marriage, i'd rather protect it, maintain it, and improve it..

haiz...women very "xin kou" wor....

I feel you are very closely bond with your hubby. All the best for this new year....:red:

 

[Kym_Heng]

I think you make the right choice (from a guy's pt of view)

Good start for the new year & I believe many good yrs will be awaiting 4 u
ancing_tongue: ancing_wub: ancing_biggrin: ancing_: ancing_tongue:ancing_: ancing_tongue: ancing_wub: ancing_biggrin:

 

[charliesangel]

ya.. my shoulder is lighter now...

u r right... he really dotes on me alot... and we went through alot together.. we have been together for 8 yrs.. we laughed, we fought, we broke up, patched back, stay beside one another when he hospitalise and i was sick, we went to holiday together... lots of happy moments... juz a little bit of sad moment...

juz talked to my hubby last night...

i told him striaght to the face, "i m going for the dinner." he looked surprise and said, " no la, i dont want u to go becoz of me and ended up not happy." and i told him, one day i still have to face them, touchwood, if his parents pass away i still have to attend, isn't it? so why not i face it from now? i will juz take it as going for a free dinner... and he said, " since the day they chased u off, they already know they had lost u as their DIL, so i nvr think of forcing u to go" so i told him, "it doesn't matter to me whether they take me as DIL or outsider, i go because of u and our marriage, i dont want to cause any unhappiness btw us becoz of this kind od issue and i dont want my girl to ask me y am i not attending the reunion dinner one day." finally he smiled and said, " i am glad if u r thinking in this way, let's go together then."

after thinking for so long and so much, i realise marriage really can change one's mind... and i wouldn't allow myself to go to the stage where i need to salvage my marriage, i'd rather protect it, maintain it, and improve it..

haiz...women very "xin kou" wor....

Hi,

You have courage and you are brave. Let bygones be bygones and hope for the best! I am sure your hubby is sensitive enough to assist you!

 

[rainypink]

bow in admiration!!
you did all mummies proud! :red:

to be angry is v easy, but to be forgiving is not!!

your family , your hubby and MIL so blessed to have you in the family.

 

[elmo493]

I think most of the DIL can't get along with the MIL or SIL.
But since it is union dinner, the least for you is to attend the dinner with a forgive and forget attitude. It is New Year, everythings should be started fresh. Luckily you still have a DD to hang on. If nobody wants to talk to you, then you can still play with your DD and not behave like an pathetic soul. Ask your DH to drive you home with your DD after dinner if you don't want to stay. Then he can stay longer abit without you. I believe they are more than happy abt it.

Actually your situation is quite similar to my mother, sister, SIL and brother. We just don't understand why my SIL don't like one of my sister after they married. Well, she will still come and joined us for dinner abt twice a week, but she will keep to herself and don't speak to any one of us. We give up after several attempt to talk to her. Sometimes my brother will drive them home first then come back and joined us again.

 

[1568mummy]

Deborah dear,

I was a little teary as I read the conversation between the 2 of you...

*big hug*
Good job girl, you have done well!

keep us updated after the dinner ok? *smile*

Happy Chinese New Year to You........and your family! :tlaugh:

ya.. my shoulder is lighter now...

u r right... he really dotes on me alot... and we went through alot together.. we have been together for 8 yrs.. we laughed, we fought, we broke up, patched back, stay beside one another when he hospitalise and i was sick, we went to holiday together... lots of happy moments... juz a little bit of sad moment...

juz talked to my hubby last night...

i told him striaght to the face, "i m going for the dinner." he looked surprise and said, " no la, i dont want u to go becoz of me and ended up not happy." and i told him, one day i still have to face them, touchwood, if his parents pass away i still have to attend, isn't it? so why not i face it from now? i will juz take it as going for a free dinner... and he said, " since the day they chased u off, they already know they had lost u as their DIL, so i nvr think of forcing u to go" so i told him, "it doesn't matter to me whether they take me as DIL or outsider, i go because of u and our marriage, i dont want to cause any unhappiness btw us becoz of this kind od issue and i dont want my girl to ask me y am i not attending the reunion dinner one day." finally he smiled and said, " i am glad if u r thinking in this way, let's go together then."

after thinking for so long and so much, i realise marriage really can change one's mind... and i wouldn't allow myself to go to the stage where i need to salvage my marriage, i'd rather protect it, maintain it, and improve it..

haiz...women very "xin kou" wor....

 

[deborahlkl]

hi mummies & kym_Heng(r u daddy?)

umm.. u all make me feel that i really made a right choice... i dont know y i would made such decide.. all i know is to protect my sweet family... hope everything will go on smoothly next yr...

wish u all happy new yr and yr husbands love u & dote on u more n more each day.....

 

[Porukadotzu]

hi mummies & kym_Heng(r u daddy?)

umm.. u all make me feel that i really made a right choice... i dont know y i would made such decide.. all i know is to protect my sweet family... hope everything will go on smoothly next yr...

wish u all happy new yr and yr husbands love u & dote on u more n more each day.....

deborah, hope your reunion dinner will turn out smoothly!

ancing_tongue:

 

[deborahlkl]

thanks.. i hope so.. will update u guy whether i have a gd time or bad time... really not looking forward to it..

 

[SH74]

dun think so much n dun expect anything.

just go n u'll realise things r not as bad as u think.

ur hubby will b there. n w ur kid ard, things wont b as bad as u think.

 

[deborahlkl]

Hi mummies

Happy new year to all of u..

reunion dinner is over... things wasnt as bad as i thought.. my hubby was very happy.

on that day i felt that:
MIL---trying so hard to patch back with me
FIL---act like he cares for me alot
2nd-SIL---looking forward to watch free show
eldest SIL (problem maker)--- showing me a black face, comment on whatever i answer others..

i didn't greet them or address them. When i see them, i juz said " baby, say hello to ah ma, ye ye.. happy new year.." that's all.. and i let them carried my baby.. MIL and FIL kept trying to talk to me, i just answered them but didnt say much.. can tell that they really want to patch back... but i seriously don't want to patch back, also don't want to make it worse.. i juz want to keep a safe distance as now and maintain it... i know they do feel it... i felt that my eldest SIL is trying to create problem soon.. dont know y, i juz can feel it..

thoughout the dinner, they didn't do anything to me.. 2nd SIL invited me n my hubby to go to her place, luckily my hubby is so clever.. he said we have other programme... her intension was not to invite us to join the fun, but to show off how lucky she is (cos she re-married to a rich man who is having monthly salary of S$20,000).. so sickening... she is juz trying her best to show off whenever she has chance..

anyway, i m happy now, and my hubby is happy now... i told myself juz to bear with it since it only happens once a year.. but i can feel that my eldest SIL wont let me off.. so scary!!!

 

[1568mummy]

I trust a woman's 6th sense.
so I trust that your eldest SIL probably have something up in her super long sleeve....

anyhow, you survived!!!! and left the house unharmed!
That's what's important!
hooray for you!
really!
*clap clap clap*

you are happy cos' YOUR HUBBY was happy that day right? *wink*
that's how wonderful being a wife is, isn't it? cos' your little sacrifice is appreciated by the love of your life. *wink*

Great Update! *big smile*

Have a Happy Moo Moo Year!!!!ancing_wub:

Hi mummies

Happy new year to all of u..

reunion dinner is over... things wasnt as bad as i thought.. my hubby was very happy.

on that day i felt that:
MIL---trying so hard to patch back with me
FIL---act like he cares for me alot
2nd-SIL---looking forward to watch free show
eldest SIL (problem maker)--- showing me a black face, comment on whatever i answer others..

i didn't greet them or address them. When i see them, i juz said " baby, say hello to ah ma, ye ye.. happy new year.." that's all.. and i let them carried my baby.. MIL and FIL kept trying to talk to me, i just answered them but didnt say much.. can tell that they really want to patch back... but i seriously don't want to patch back, also don't want to make it worse.. i juz want to keep a safe distance as now and maintain it... i know they do feel it... i felt that my eldest SIL is trying to create problem soon.. dont know y, i juz can feel it..

thoughout the dinner, they didn't do anything to me.. 2nd SIL invited me n my hubby to go to her place, luckily my hubby is so clever.. he said we have other programme... her intension was not to invite us to join the fun, but to show off how lucky she is (cos she re-married to a rich man who is having monthly salary of S$20,000).. so sickening... she is juz trying her best to show off whenever she has chance..

anyway, i m happy now, and my hubby is happy now... i told myself juz to bear with it since it only happens once a year.. but i can feel that my eldest SIL wont let me off.. so scary!!!

 

[deborahlkl]

you are happy cos' YOUR HUBBY was happy that day right? *wink*
that's how wonderful being a wife is, isn't it? cos' your little sacrifice is appreciated by the love of your life. *wink*


u r right... i agree with u totally...

i dont care abt my SIL... i already told my hubby.. i even taught him how to handle his sis... to me, everything is over now..

 

[CanCanMum]

wow!!! it feels like u were just saved from a dangerous cliff!!!

hahahahahahha

congrats to the sucessful dinner outing!