what will you do when someone harass or blackmail you ?

Discussion in 'Home Life, Relationships & Finance' started by LadyInRedOne, Sep 28, 2011.

  1. LadyInRedOne

    LadyInRedOne Member

    what will you do when someone harass or blackmail you ?

    is my ex colleague N we had short relationships before, both of us is married too.

    please advice ?
  2. angelababi

    angelababi Member

    hmm.. depends on the sitiuation ,if he doesnt even know the address im staying i will delete all my contact or change another hp no that he unreachable to me, if its serious i will give warning to him and if he still the same i will make police report on him.. i think when things become serious police need to be involved .
    Last edited: Sep 28, 2011
  3. Phoebii Cheng

    Phoebii Cheng Well-Known Member

    Does ur hubby know abt it? I mean if someone harass or blackmail you, and if it gets serious like what angela said.....you need to get the authorities involved
  4. LadyInRedOne

    LadyInRedOne Member

    he knows all, as he is my ex colleague N we had short relationships before, I cant change my contact number as I got my others friends number in also, my hubby doesn't know this, how to tell him this, I having relationships outside with someone, if he knows, "die" lah me then, Divorce too later can be, then hows my baby daughter going to be, me or my hubby later ?

    please advice ?
    Last edited: Sep 28, 2011
  5. Gem2505

    Gem2505 Member

    hmm.. how the person harass or blackmail you? he calls u? come to your home?
    he knows your hubby? i think even u change ur no. he will have his ways to find it..
  6. angelababi

    angelababi Member

    that is a past relationship or not long ago... ?? he so free to harass and blackmail you , what about his wife .. do nothin or keep in secret ? Did he come to your home ? If yes i think you should tell your hubby about it.. worried he mind do something bad.. if he doesnt knw now you stay and you dont want to let your hubby know about it the best is change no. no choice and updated your friends your new no. then.. or before you tell your hubby , when things getting serious you can go report police yourself see what the police can advice you.. thats what i do
  7. LadyInRedOne

    LadyInRedOne Member

    can say 2 years +++ back relationships, I dont know his wife know or not, my hubby know him as he is my ex colleague, we use to work togather, I resign N work in another place because I want to stop this relantionship, as I think is much better to break up early then later, as is a short relantionship only.

    please advice ?
  8. angelababi

    angelababi Member

    means you are with your hubby already at the same time in a relationship with him .. is it...?? Already 2 yr ago ,Now what he wan from you ??
  9. LadyInRedOne

    LadyInRedOne Member


    as usual, $$$ N S** , last time, when we are togather, just S** only.

    please advice ?
  10. Kylerisprince

    Kylerisprince New Member

    If i were u i will make a police report. Do u have any sms that he threaten u? Get the police to call him and warn him. U may want go police station alone to avoid letting ur hub kw. I dun think the man wants the wife to kws too. Some man are bastard.. They think u scare of them so they threaten u.. I wasn threaten before by a married man when i wanted to leave him as after being lied by him for few yrs. I make a police report with all the sms and the policed called him down to the station for interview. After that he no longer dare to harass me anymore as the IO warned me that if he appear anywhere near my block or near me or sms me, they will arrest him and charge him in court.
  11. angelababi

    angelababi Member

    me too totally agree i do the same thing too make police report to the person and he scare out of hell ... the police will advice you what to do .. he may be jail as harass and threaten can be a serious case too...
  12. LadyInRedOne

    LadyInRedOne Member

    I deleted some sms or emails he send to me.

    he always dare me to make the police reports but I scared, he says, he knows every move I make, he watching me every second etc.

    I dont dare to tell my hubby, my past relantionships with him, scared my hubby will get "mad" N fight or even kill him out of angry or temper.

    please advice ?
  13. circumstance

    circumstance New Member

    I'm sorry to hear of your situation. Trusting someone and having them betray you is always devastating. First, ignore the comment from Undisputed, who is almost certainly this "Samuel Panzio" himself, trying to get a few more jollies from dishing out a last batch of emotional abuse. Con artists like Samuel are sociopathic. They are incapable of normal human feelings, like love, compassion, and empathy. However, while they don't actually feel or understand normal human emotions, they are very good at mimicking them. They are also incapable of feeling guilt or remorse, or of accepting personal responsibility, making them very effective liars and manipulators.

    Unfortunately, your options with regard to the blog are limited. You can request the content be removed, but even if you succeed, nothing will prevent him from putting it back up again somewhere else. And even if he doesn't, the damage he's already done can't be undone.

    My first recommendation is that you not call attention to this issue in public anymore. Minimize your online presence as much as possible. If you use social media like facebook, etc, make everything private, and never friend anyone who you do not personally know. Better yet, get off the social media system entirely, it's a powerful weapon in the hands of an enemy like Samuel.

    Second, under no circumstances should you try to contact or communicate with him. Document anything he sends you, but do not respond. Don't dwell on it or try to make sense of it, just file it away. Give copies of everything he sends to a trusted friend or family member.

    Third, inform law enforcement of your situation. They are unlikely to take any action until a law is broken, but having a police report on file may help you down the road.

    Fourth, although it's not certain that he is a physical threat to you and your daughter, you cannot exclude that possibility. Samuel has already demonstrated a complete disregard for your privacy and your physical safety by publishing not only your personal photos, but also your personal information. At the very minimum, he exhibits a complete lack of concern for your safety, and significant anger management issues. If you're not averse to the notion, consider getting a gun, and firearms training. Aside from the physical protection it provides, going through the process of getting a personal firearm and getting training can help some people regain a sense of control over their personal security.

    Finally, consider crisis counseling to help you deal with this situation. You're experiencing the emotional equivalent of being badly injured in an accident. Something happened to you that's unfair and painful. You can't undo the damage, but you can try to start the healing process and return to a normal life as soon as possible.
  14. angelababi

    angelababi Member

    That he lie one he say he know your moves is only say for you to fear he dare is because maybe he know you wouldnt report him as you will nv want to let your hubby know.. but this person if nv report him he will continue and continue using this matter to harass you .. asking money will be more and more... you may choose not to tell but report him to police is a must. Let his wife settle him.
  15. LadyInRedOne

    LadyInRedOne Member

    he not only asking for $$$, but S** too.

    I going to keep all the sms, emails, "rubbish" he send to me, as a proof for my police report later.

    what will you think or re-action, if you are my hubby, I tell you this ?

    please advice ?
  16. xiaodaisy

    xiaodaisy Active Member

    just change number and update ur frens ur new number , i tink its not that hard?

    since everything u feel u cant do , cant tell ur hubby , dont dare report police ..

    changing number is the easy way to go , copy down the contacts to ur hp den change a number and hope he will leave u fm den ..
  17. angelababi

    angelababi Member

    Depends on how you going to say , you have to think and plan on how you going to tell your hubby.. dont be so directly as most guy will go mad . Yes dont delete those rubbish he send you and dont have to warn him too after you made report the police will settle him .
  18. Kylerisprince

    Kylerisprince New Member

    Dun need to tell him what is ur next step. Just go to the police. He can say all he wants to threaten u.. U have to do it if not ur life will continue to be in his control.
  19. Gem2505

    Gem2505 Member

    hmm.. i think its really difficult on you having to face this alone. I guess, 1 other way, is to just confess to your hubby? just say it was before his time? will he clarify with that crazy guy?

    i would rather my hubby ( as a man ) stands up for me and talk to that fellow.

    my case was different. my ex-bf ( during my poly days ) de current gf, sot one. knowing the guy still likes me alot, she posted alot alot alot of nasty and inhuman stuffs ( more like criticizing and defaming me with her own accusation ) in her blog about me. which is totally untrue. all my friends read about it also bth her action. i didnt want to let me hubby know coz i think its a small matter. trust me, its near impossible to find another bitch with such dirty and sharp tongue.
    everytime i read those words she wrote about me, the words kept staying in my mind. like, whole day, every moment. somehow, i was very concerned about such false accusation. so i blogged about her ( somehow like a fight back ). ok, this sounds childish. but i really cannot just take it and let it be.
    end up, i bth liao, i told my hubby about it and also find my ex bf's sis out and told her everything. after the talk, she went back to scold her bro ( of coz, he told the gf about it ), then she started blogging about me telling the sis about it, etc. sad part, the bf cant control her at all.
    my hubby stood up and called that guy up and scolded him. ask him to come out talk if he wants. but the guy dont dare. he is the timid kind. but the gf fierce kind. stupid guy, went to gave that bitch my hp no and ask her settle with me. wtf. such a loser.
    i reported police against her and found out, im not the only one kenna such thing from this girl. they took my records and asked me if i wanna get a lawyer to pursue this case. i didnt la. dont wanna spend $ on such person. but at least, i left a record there. if 1 day, a victim kenna again from her, and that victim report police and pursue, maybe my records could make a different.
    i printed out all her blog entries and gave it to the police. they kept it.

    so, start keeping all your supporting evidences, if sms, take a pic of it and print out. emails all that, print out. report it to the police. in case * touch wood * anything happened, the police already have a record and that fellow cant run away. best is, let someone u trust know about it and have the evidence. i dont think that person really 24/7 follow u de.. so just go ahead and make a police report. if u got strong evidence on his threaten like *he know your every move and ask u not to report police *, maybe u wanna try calling 999 and see if they can come to your house instead? not too sure how the police force works.
  20. LadyInRedOne

    LadyInRedOne Member

    thanks all for your kind advice N supportive, I know what to do now, report to the police this case.

    both of us is married too N having some short relationships, both of our spouse dont know about this, I'm the 1 who wanted to end this, as I'm few months pregnant that time, I want to led a happy family life later when my baby is born but he dont want to end up till now, thats the problems now, I facing.

    just 1 BIG problem now, how am I going to tell my hubby this, I'm having relantionships outside ?

    please advice ?

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