My mother-in-law, Mdm L rom hell

[Excited Mummy]

One of my buddy commented that my parents-in-law have a 'kiam pak' face. 'Kiam Pak' means so irritating that they 'deserve a slap'. hahahha

haha... my friend too! in fact, she commented on that after we met up to catch up after my wedding. she was one of my bridesmaids!

xiaodaisy, my hubby is already >30 years old but his mum still sees me as snatching away him loh.
in fact, she has never rushed him to get married! my hubby and I dated for several years ok. she chased away his previous gf! kept telling him that the gal was not good etc. she's one evil woman.

 

[peppermint]

I finally give my husband K, another piece of my mind yesterday.

I told him that his cousin's wife (Y) 'complained' to me about his mother. And it worries me that his mother, Mdm L may do the same to me when I give birth. Which most likely she would, I kena from her before during CNY.

What happened then was during CNY, we invited his parents and extended families over. As usual, days before their visit, I am already preparing the house, hiding things away from the kapo MIL, fear that she will 'steal' again or feed me with sacarstic remarks like I am so lucky if she sees my chanel, sheisedo, lancome products unlike her has to use Loreal products from Watson because she retired now, she so poorthing, etc. So the whole house must be cleared from her evil eyes!! And I will wake up early that day, just to prepare and dress myself two hours prior to their arrival, set the drinks, food. Yes, very very stressful.

K told his parents that he will go over at 1.30pm to pick them and grandparents, then drive over, even when we are just staying across a two-lane road. But because grandparents can't walk much. Guess what?? Slightly pass noon, our door bell rang, it's the MIL and the grandparents. She didn't even bother to call us to say that she has decided to walk over instead!! Grandparents look so tired after walking over - poorthing la. Then she told us that grandparents need to excerise more, so make them walk over. I was fuming mad because she should have called to tell us that she is coming over earlier, but because it is CNY, I kept cool. Luckily, I am all dressed in outdoor attire. When she is at my house, I try not to spend time away from her, which means, my toilet break should be ultra quick too. I need to watch over her.

What happened with the cousin's wife -
During Y's confinement period, my mother-in-law, Mdm L appeared suddenly at Y's house. Everyone was shocked, Y, her husband, her MIL....they were not expecting any guests!

(Note that all of us were invited once to Y's house at Punggol during their house warming. And we drove there from Mdm L's house. Mdm L didnt have Y's full address)

Y and everyone was very very surprised to see her, ask her how did she even remember the address!! Mdm L said she doesnt know, but she just try her luck and if really she cannot find the house, then she will call. The reason was she wanted to give a small ang bao to the baby - and she doesn't want to give later when everyone (like us and the extended families) are around because she doesn't want them to kapo. Ahem! Pot calling the kettle black.

Y and Y's MIL then asked her to carry the baby, Mdm's L reaction was "No, NO, No, I don't know how to carry baby. Last time when K (her son, my husband) was young, I also didn't carry him much. It was grandparents that looked after K." Y's MIL then ask her to try carry so that she can practise and next time can help look after her grandchild (that is my kid). Mdm L replied that she is not going to look after our kid, because she wants to enjoy her old age. What a lazy bitch!! Anyway, I also don't want her to touch my baby. Anyway, Y told me that she didnt touch or play with the baby, she sat in the living room for a very very long time and whisper to Y's MIL. After she left, Y's husband came out from bedroom and ask what they gossiping about. Hahahha. Y's MIL said she can't really hear what my MIL is saying because most of the time she's whispering. hahahha!!

Here, I am also trying to drive the point across to K that his mother already commented to others that she WILL NOT look after our baby. And not the other way round that I DON'T ALLOW her to look after. HEE~~

I told K that I am concern that next time, his mother would do the same to me, appearing infront of the house without letting us know in advance. Because, my mum will always let me know whenever she's coming over. K said that his mother will not do such things to me because she knows that I am fussy. Hello?!!! You mean, like that is fussy?? Isn't it basic manners to call before you come?

 

[babymoo]

Hahahaha !!! My MIL has tt face oso... N not forgetting at first my FIL is a very nice guy and he was brainwashed by my MIL till he is very angry with us nw oso... Feeling damn sucky... Cos my MIL likes to say till she do pitiful ... Her son don care her anymore... All listen to wife only .... Doesnt go Hm c mummy...

One of my buddy commented that my parents-in-law have a 'kiam pak' face. 'Kiam Pak' means so irritating that they 'deserve a slap'. hahahha

 

[Excited Mummy]

Agree it's basic manners to call the host before dropping by! i don't understand why some people like o turn up uninvited.
esp with a newborn baby, doesnt mean the mother is always prepared or ready to have guests in the house.

 

[Excited Mummy]

yes, i'm working now, xiaodaisy...
hubby says let his mum help to look after. sigh.

 

[babymoo]

Some ppl just do idiot... Just like my MIL did Once... She even brought guests up to my house without telling me.... N ya she very got manners.. Wait till reached downstairs then call my hubby say they coming up.... All these kind of Ppl really dunno their manners

 

[peppermint]

Some ppl just do idiot... Just like my mother in law did Once... She even brought guests up to my house without telling me.... N ya she very got manners.. Wait till reached downstairs then call my hubby say they coming up.... All these kind of Ppl really dont know their manners

Gosh! Babymoo, your MIL and mine exactly the same...long lost twins? hahaha.

You should just sabo her, tell her you are going out for an appointment. No time to entertain her and her friends. And why is she bringing guests up without even telling you in advance?!! Hiyo

 

[peppermint]

His mother will always use this statement. "I am the mother what, why I cannot do this?" "This is my son's house, why I must call?" She always abuses her authority.

Oh did I tell you, now that I moved out of my condo, she has been walking over there to swim weekly!! Unbelievable right?? Seriously, why so hard up on swimming?? Grandma said, and I bet you these are his mother's words, "last time when you all (me and K) stayed there, she seldom go over to swim. now she goes over weekly, she is so happy." Maybe I should burn her a swimming pool next time. *evil*

And they say we must try to communicate with MILs right? You tell me, my MIL will always treat me as 'not there'. Like when we were shifting house, etc. She will ask only the son, "Do you need mummy to come over to help you?" She wouldn't talk to me.

Actually some MILs are quite stupid. They think that by attacking the DILs, they can get away with it and perhaps can get rid of the DILs. Actually, they give us the upper hands to deal with them even better!!

I hope when our generation becomes MILs next, please please don't behave like them, the nasty ones. Work things the smart way!

 

[babymoo]

Ya seems so hahahah... Cannot ley... It's near cny n she brought over in nite time.... Is my hubby sis in law... Tt time ont gf... N she brought her up to our place to c c ... Damn sux la... Dunno wat she up to

Gosh! Babymoo, your MIL and mine exactly the same...long lost twins? hahaha.

You should just sabo her, tell her you are going out for an appointment. No time to entertain her and her friends. And why is she bringing guests up without even telling you in advance?!! Hiyo

 

[babymoo]

They think they very smart only... Seriously dunno wat r all these MILs trying to do... She go there weekly trying to show? Saying u all very mean nv let her swim when u all staying there? N shit her la... Is u n ur hubby house... Wat her son house... Without u can he buy tt hose? Don come n bullshit all this man..... Haa....

I won't do all this shit things... I would treat everyone as family... Wat for make everyone draw lines.... Rite??

His mother will always use this statement. "I am the mother what, why I cannot do this?" "This is my son's house, why I must call?" She always abuses her authority.

Oh did I tell you, now that I moved out of my condo, she has been walking over there to swim weekly!! Unbelievable right?? Seriously, why so hard up on swimming?? Grandma said, and I bet you these are his mother's words, "last time when you all (me and K) stayed there, she seldom go over to swim. now she goes over weekly, she is so happy." Maybe I should burn her a swimming pool next time. *evil*

And they say we must try to communicate with MILs right? You tell me, my MIL will always treat me as 'not there'. Like when we were shifting house, etc. She will ask only the son, "Do you need mummy to come over to help you?" She wouldn't talk to me.

Actually some MILs are quite stupid. They think that by attacking the DILs, they can get away with it and perhaps can get rid of the DILs. Actually, they give us the upper hands to deal with them even better!!

I hope when our generation becomes MILs next, please please don't behave like them, the nasty ones. Work things the smart way!

 

[xiaodaisy]

haha... my friend too! in fact, she commented on that after we met up to catch up after my wedding. she was one of my bridesmaids!

xiaodaisy, my hubby is already >30 years old but his mum still sees me as snatching away him loh.
in fact, she has never rushed him to get married! my hubby and I dated for several years ok. she chased away his previous gf! kept telling him that the gal was not good etc. she's one evil woman.

aiyo , so jealous mil .. my mil knows her son too well , cos my hubby give her attitude more den me LOL !! my hubby married previously also , until now my mil still bad mouth abt the ex wife -.- keep blaming her for the divorce where she didnt see her son had fault also ..

yes, i'm working now, xiaodaisy...
hubby says let his mum help to look after. sigh.

discuss with ur hubby again before u due , kinda worry whether if the little girl will ill treat ur baby or not wen nobody notice or not .. since she's already damn spoil and might worry abt losing attention to the new baby in family , she might hurt the baby without knowing its serious .. should really be careful , i'm pregnant with my 3rd baby and my little cousin got so jealous that she told me i better dont bring my baby to her hse , else she gonna strangle my baby =.='' tats how a kid thinks and they donno its wrong , so play safe .. u really should not let ur in laws look after

 

[Excited Mummy]

oh dear! xiaodaisy, what u say is a possibility!
that little girl is a spoilt brat and she is very good at twisting words and telling lies.
she messed up her own bedroom and when her grandpa asked who did it, she said it was me and my hubby!!!
crazy right?! no manners. her mum and everyone else spoils her, that's why.
she used to scream at the top of her voice too until people complain! even the tv crew which came to do some shooting in their neighbours' house on one day only also went to complain. can you imagine?!

 

[babymoo]

Omg this kind of kids I feel like slapping them sia... Haa... Pardon me for saying Tt... Cos I hate spoilt brat....

oh dear! xiaodaisy, what u say is a possibility!
that little girl is a spoilt brat and she is very good at twisting words and telling lies.
she messed up her own bedroom and when her grandpa asked who did it, she said it was me and my hubby!!!
crazy right?! no manners. her mum and everyone else spoils her, that's why.
she used to scream at the top of her voice too until people complain! even the tv crew which came to do some shooting in their neighbours' house on one day only also went to complain. can you imagine?!

 

[peppermint]

They think they very smart only... Seriously dont know what r all these MILs trying to do... She go there weekly trying to show? Saying you all very mean never let her swim when you all staying there? N shit her ... Is you n your hubby house... what her son house... Without you can he buy that hose? dont come n bullshit all this man..... Haa....

I won't do all this shit things... I would treat everyone as family... what for make everyone draw lines.... Rite??

Ya, you tell me. She asked repeatedly for the condo card even before we settled in previously. I bet she has been going over to swim but refuse to admit so she use an excuse that she has to travel to the Civil Servant Club or even Bishan stadium to swim. And now, she create this shit about going over to condo pool to swim when we are no longer staying there. Was, she so poorthing right?!!!

 

[xiaodaisy]

oh dear! xiaodaisy, what u say is a possibility!
that little girl is a spoilt brat and she is very good at twisting words and telling lies.
she messed up her own bedroom and when her grandpa asked who did it, she said it was me and my hubby!!!
crazy right?! no manners. her mum and everyone else spoils her, that's why.
she used to scream at the top of her voice too until people complain! even the tv crew which came to do some shooting in their neighbours' house on one day only also went to complain. can you imagine?!

so really do consider and discuss with hubby again , actually if ur hiring a maid , i dont really feel there is a need to let them go over ur in laws hse

maybe leave to ur maid alone is better den with so many ppl .. since she can twist her words all tis and everyone believes her , if she ever hurt ur baby , she might push the blame to the maid or wat ..

double consider really !!

 

[peppermint]

so really do consider and discuss with hubby again , actually if your hiring a maid , i dont really feel there is a need to let them go over your in laws house

maybe leave to your maid alone is better then with so many ppl .. since she can twist her words all tis and everyone believes her , if she ever hurt your baby , she might push the blame to the maid or what ..

double consider really !!

Or maybe leave the helper at your house and get you parent to go over and supervise. Have cams ard the house to monitor. Or can you work part-time?

 

[Excited Mummy]

i hv thot abt using web-cams... i see how 1st... sigh.

 

[noelsmum]

After reading all the posts, I'm so glad that we live 3 and half hrs away by flight from my in laws. The last time we were back in Spore, we did have clashes, especially now that we have a son. My MIL is nice to a certain extent but I can't deal with the way she says certain things and some of the stuff that she says to my mum. She thinks that she's doing a great job raising hubby's niece but the reality is that she's doing a shit job! And there's no way, she'll be raising my son. We're heading back for Christmas in a couple of weeks. Just praying for no friction.

Got to add this. A few months ago, in laws came to HK to visit us as we just adopted our son. He was around 6 or 7 months then. We have different views of bring up kids from them. And obviously we clashed on a couple of issues but I don't think in anyway i was rude. They went back to Spore and she mentioned to someone and someone told me mum that she said that I didn't have family upbringing (loosely translated from mandarin) I was pissed! I was the one that picked up her sister from hospital when she was discharged, I brought my son to see his great grandma (her mother) when husband was still in HK working when I headed back for summer. And her precious granddaughter who is more than 3 years old can't even call me or my husband! And I'm the one without family upbringing?

 

[babymoo]

Hw I wished I live away from my in law like u.... Haa.... No need to visit them at all... Lol.... Sometimes mil r like tt... They think they r the greatest mum and just cos they brought up kids before they noe hw to n they think their method is the best....

 

[noelsmum]

They think they r the greatest mum and just cos they brought up kids before they noe hw to n they think their method is the best....

Like the Op, my in laws never raised their sons. My husband was outsourced to his grandma and uncle and aunty and only moved home at 14. Their other son, outsourced their 12. But saving grace, they're from lower middle income and they managed to save enough money for my husband to go to Australia for 4 years of his education and he never had to worry about money whilst he was there and they paid for our wedding dinner. But then again, money isn't everything is it?