stay with in-laws or not?

X

xuezhen09

Member
Chewysee said:
I try to feedback to him everynight, but he gets very annoyed. Then when I explode all at once, he say I'm being mean. Then when I ask him to be empathetic, he says he don't mind if my mum was like his. Then I will tell him "ofcourse you're saying things so easy la! Cause it's just an example what, and my parents are very understanding, they don't nag at you or scold you" i was scolded by his mother several times you know, like she literally shout at me infront of hubby but he does nothing! He just stand there and keep quiet. And because I have to respect that she is his mother, I keep quiet, then I go toilet and cry. You see, what kind of person I am with? She can go around scolding other people's daughter like that? As If I don't have mother or father? I don't even dare to tell my parents about this. What the hell?! You think this kind of husband can mah? Arbo I ask his mother to come up to my house and I ask my parents to scold her son infront of her la. See how she feels.
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The other nite my mil force me to drink barley, but i drink any kind of liang teh except barley, so i was just being honest.. but she was like 'dun wanna drink dun drink' in a v angry tone.. then i gt so upset and swallow the drink, only to vomit out ltr.. coz i admit i have a bad habit, if i dun like to eat or drink something, i will vomit out regardless how small the amount is.. tts y even my family dun force me to eat things i dislike..

i told my hubby, he was keeping his doubts about wat i say until one fateful day.. my mil was complaining about my picky diet and intake of rice.. (coz i belong to the chubby side, so i try to eat rice only once a week, nothing more than tt) she just kept gg and gg on abt it.. then i was txting my hubby abt it.. but i didn't noe that he was actually standing outside the main door.. so he came in and say tt everyone has their preference, not everything has to go w her theory.. his mum's face sunk and was trying to explain tt she wasn't scolding me, she is just concern n yada..

so pretty lucky for me tt day.. coz i was about to break down at hm and wanted to tell my hubby tt i wanna get my sis to pick me up to go to my mum's place to slp.. so in the end he say he is hungry, say he wanna go supper, and brought me to buy magnum ice-cream (my habit of destressing when i am upset) from 7-11..
 
X

xuezhen09

Member
myusha said:
Why mus it always be us to stay wif husband family? I oso haf to stay with husband family. We cannot apply for new flat haf to wait for at least 4-5 yrs. even If we apply Liaw, his parents have to move in with us, as e current place is under his & his mother name.
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my hubby n i have been trying to ballot for BTO.. all along his plans was to let his mum move in w us and let her rent her house out for extra income.. but as of recent months, he seems to change his mind abt it and say most prob we will move out alone.. think i m the factor for the change of mine..

Chewysee said:
Wah.... Why must move in tgt with you all? Very stress leh. He no other siblings to take care of his mother?
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i guess sometimes not much choice for us ladies.. female n male r not exactly equal when it comes to marriage..
 
Chewysee

Chewysee

Member
xuezhen09 said:
The other nite my mil force me to drink barley, but i drink any kind of liang teh except barley, so i was just being honest.. but she was like 'dun wanna drink dun drink' in a v angry tone.. then i gt so upset and swallow the drink, only to vomit out ltr.. coz i admit i have a bad habit, if i dun like to eat or drink something, i will vomit out regardless how small the amount is.. tts y even my family dun force me to eat things i dislike..

i told my hubby, he was keeping his doubts about wat i say until one fateful day.. my mil was complaining about my picky diet and intake of rice.. (coz i belong to the chubby side, so i try to eat rice only once a week, nothing more than tt) she just kept gg and gg on abt it.. then i was txting my hubby abt it.. but i didn't noe that he was actually standing outside the main door.. so he came in and say tt everyone has their preference, not everything has to go w her theory.. his mum's face sunk and was trying to explain tt she wasn't scolding me, she is just concern n yada..

so pretty lucky for me tt day.. coz i was about to break down at hm and wanted to tell my hubby tt i wanna get my sis to pick me up to go to my mum's place to slp.. so in the end he say he is hungry, say he wanna go supper, and brought me to buy magnum ice-cream (my habit of destressing when i am upset) from 7-11..
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You are blessed that you have your husband. I don't think I am picky with food either, i've always liked home cooked food from young, no matter whose cooking is it. But I really don't know why I just HATE what his maid cooks, but I try to eat at home everyday, but when I was in my first trimester I literally want to vomit Everytime I see the dinner his maid cooked for us. Then he say I am very picky with food. Throughout this pregnancy, other than the bills we have to pay for bb, I feel like I am alone. Like I am already pregnant and need to lead a healthy lifestyle yet his mother can ask her mahjong kakis to come and play mahjong from evening all the way to next morning. Then I cannot sleep, until 5am or whenever they stop. I ask him to go talk to his mother, she said okay will stop at 12am latest, but ofcourse, she continues to be so insensitive and play until midnight. I really think she's doing it on purpose. Because she knows her darling son will just give in whenever she gets mad. I think they should just get married with each other instead
 
Chewysee

Chewysee

Member
xuezhen09 said:
my hubby n i have been trying to ballot for BTO.. all along his plans was to let his mum move in w us and let her rent her house out for extra income.. but as of recent months, he seems to change his mind about it and say most prob we will move out alone.. think i m the factor for the change of mine..



i guess sometimes not much choice for us ladies.. female n male r not exactly equal when it comes to marriage..
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Ya lor, that's why before you get married, better open eyes big big.
 
M

myusha

Member
Husband siblings oso haf their own family already. He always say his mother dote on him e most as he is the youngest in e family so Bo bian.
 
Chewysee

Chewysee

Member
kimitsusei said:
no need talk anymore to this jerk... tell him to marry a slave... call off the marriage for your own good !!
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Huh... i think dont need to be so hush bah? Afterall, she still love him for who he is.
Just scream at him ask him choose 1, you or his mama. kekeke. kidding!
 
K

KAmum

Member
Iqa:663342 said:
Guess what mummies....now we have some issues for the wedding..i am super3 pissed off..pfftpfft..everytime must listen to him..my suggestion abit oso dowan to consider..u knw wad he said?'Later i ask my mum.' Wth..its our wedding mah..n i cnt have the final say..
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Hi Iqa. I suggest u talk things over w him nicely or put plans for.marriage on hold. I may nt be in the best position to advise u but thts what im doing.now b/c bf's mum controls him TOO much and I dont want to be alone w no one to stand up for me when an argument starts at hme in the future. You're the one who is suffering, not him. Make tis point very VERYVERYVERY clear to him.
Also, you have a right to hv a say in this wedding too. Tell him tht narriage is btween u and him NOT you him and his mum.

but whatever you do, never never never make it sound like his fault. I think he'll be angry w you and you dont want that.

All the best!!!
 
Chewysee

Chewysee

Member
myusha said:
Husband siblings oso haf their own family already. He always say his mother dote on him e most as he is the youngest in e family so Bo bian.
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Aiya, all this is talk c*ck one la. My hubby's mother also say dote him alot. In the end? Always take money come out and talk. Then she also clever, she knows hubby will always give into her, so she will climb up on his head and shit. I always ask my husband to at least defend himself la... but he always say "later she will be very upset and cry and cry" walau... this one is excuse meh? Siao!
 
K

KAmum

Member
Chewysee:663614 said:
myusha said:
Husband siblings oso haf their own family already. He always say his mother dote on him e most as he is the youngest in e family so Bo bian.
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Aiya, all this is talk c*ck one la. My hubby's mother also say dote him alot. In the end? Always take money come out and talk. Then she also clever, she knows hubby will always give into her, so she will climb up on his head and shit. I always ask my husband to at least defend himself la... but he always say "later she will be very upset and cry and cry" walau... this one is excuse meh? Siao!
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i feel u . My bf also worry fr his.mum alot -.-
 
I

Iqa

Member
Guess what mummies....now we have some issues for the wedding..i am super3 pissed off..pfftpfft..everytime must listen to him..my suggestion abit oso dowan to consider..u knw wad he said?'Later i ask my mum.' Wth..its our wedding mah..n i cnt have the final say..
Hi Iqa. I suggest u talk things over w him nicely or put plans for.marriage on hold. I may nt be in the best position to advise u but thts what im doing.now b/c bf's mum controls him TOO much and I dont want to be alone w no one to stand up for me when an argument starts at hme in the future. You're the one who is suffering, not him. Make tis point very VERYVERYVERY clear to him.
Also, you have a right to hv a say in this wedding too. Tell him tht narriage is btween u and him NOT you him and his mum.

but whatever you do, never never never make it sound like his fault. I think he'll be angry w you and you dont want that.

All the best!!!Alyssa - 19May2012

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U know wad kAmum..
No matter how nice i talk to him,there's always a thing or 2 that he says to make me upset..

i ever told him,'i got feelings oso ok.'
He answered,'other pple oso have feelings.U want to do things bt nvr care abt pple's feelings.'

Means wad?ive never ever cared abt pple's feelings?like hello..i everytime must sacrifice my feelings..Gosh!!! Upsetting or wad..

Sorry babes..jux need to rant out..
 
I

Iqa

Member
i think perhaps Iqa is afraid to offend her fiance and in laws ?
but he treats her like dirt. i will dump him if i were her.
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Dearest kimitsusei..
He treats me well honey..he buys me things n takes care of me well..only when it comes to this that he sucks..blearghh..
 
M

myusha

Member
If he can't even agree with me for our marriage, or even bother to care for my feelings, I might put the wedding on hold....
 
Chewysee

Chewysee

Member
Iqa said:
i think perhaps Iqa is afraid to offend her fiance and in laws ?
but he treats her like dirt. i will dump him if i were her.
—--------------

Dearest kimitsusei..
He treats me well honey..he buys me things n takes care of me well..only when it comes to this that he sucks..blearghh..
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SAME! X2 Really tak boleh tahan the mother liao leh..
 
K

KAmum

Member
Iqa, he sounds like a really nice man :) but.until this problem is solved i suggest putting marriage on hold. I knw you must love him a lot but if no one is to stand up for you after marriage i think you'll suffer even more than you are now. Just a thought!!! dont have to listen hehehe im still v young, just saying whatever comes.outta my mouth :p
 
I

Iqa

Member
So true..n yes im putting it on hold..if he still doesnt want to listen to me,i might consider telling him to marry his mum or other girls..hahaa..

still waiting for him to talk to his mum tho..my mum is ok with anything..bt i dono la when he will talk to her.. *roll eyes*
 
KiBin

KiBin

Member
Iqa said:
So true..n yes im putting it on hold..if he still doesnt want to listen to me,i might consider telling him to marry his mum or other girls..hahaa..

still waiting for him to talk to his mum tho..my mum is ok with anything..bt i dono la when he will talk to her.. *roll eyes*
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I think he still does not know how difficult it is to be "traffic controller" in future if you all stay together...

need to direct "traffic" from you and his own mom... and it's going to be frustrating for you if you and MIL dun get along well...
 
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