did you feel immediate LOVE for your baby?

[meiteoh]

ok phew. im not very weird after all. so many mommies didn't feel immediate bond.

Damn articles in magazines made me worry.

When i told my mom about it ...you ladies know what she said?

You csect case thats why you dont't love her. Never push your baby out. If you go for natural birth, SURE sayang the moment you see baby cos all your hard work is paid off. Same like your sister ...csect...where got sayang her son? At night can go out with husband, leave son at home to sleep.


O_O

That's total bull! As if c-sec means it's easier for us. =.=

To be quite frank, I wasn't very happy to get pregnant - I mean I was trying and when I did get pregnant, I was more worried because my first pregnancy resulted in a miscarriage and some drama. Then my hubs got retrenched and my parents became very meddlesome to the point where I couldn't even buy clothes for Eva without my mum having a say in it. I felt that I was pregnant not for me but for other people. You know how some women cry when they first hear their baby's heartbeat? Me? I just went "That's it ar?". :/

When I had her - how is beside the point - I instantly felt a connection with her. It wasn't love per se but this thing where you want to give your best and all for this little bundle. I felt proud at having brought such a lovely creature into the world...but it still wasn't "I love you, etc, etc".

THEN when the reality of me being a mum sank in, you could say that I wasn't so proud anymore. The move to Singapore, the confinement, having to put up with two meddling old people plus taking care of a newborn who was having difficulties transitioning from day to night...all that made me really down and I started to wonder if I was mother-material because I didn't feel the "gushy", "teary eyed" love at all. I got annoyed at her for crying non-stop a few times - even my hubs wasn't like that. =.=

Today, four months on, you could say that what I feel for her is more of a practical, "motherly" love and not so much the whole Hollywood type of love one should have for their baby (don't really know if this makes any sense - I'm drugged out on charcoal pills, Panadol and Smecta on the moment).

 

[chelle]

Hmm, then does that mean i am abnormal, coz i felt LOVE for my BB when i first saw him on the ultrascan, just a little sac at 4 weeks!
As he grow, the anticipation & excitement & love grow! I will talk/sing and sayang my tummy everyday.
When i finally "push" him out, my 1st thought was that he is the cutest thing and the greatest achievement i ever had!
I felt so blissful when i 1st held him in my arms and he gaze back at me...HEE

 

[chelle]

my mum also somehow said something like this also.:nah:mayb old ppl old thinking?

I read on Mother&Baby magazine that indeed results have shown mothers who deliver via natural feel more for the baby!
Anyway, all mothers in this world love their babies, even though strangers will not find your babies cute, but to mothers they are the most adorable things in this world. At least that how i feel!:tlaugh:

 

[CanCanMum]

all along i felt love for baber when he was inside me, and i was so excited during US scans, when i reached home will still stare at the US scan pic lols

but when he was delivered i felt a sudden distance between us, like he felt so alien to me lols~~~~like a stranger~~~

only when i was pushed to my ward and after i woke up from a 2-hour sleep and when the nurse brought him to my arms to suckle, den i started loving him and feeling motherly~~~esp he was like shivering due to the aircon in the ward and i told him dun be scared horr, mummy hug u, den i started "accepting" him.:001_302:

 

[hakisumi]

ok phew. im not very weird after all. so many mommies didn't feel immediate bond.

Damn articles in magazines made me worry.

When i told my mom about it ...you ladies know what she said?

You csect case thats why you dont't love her. Never push your baby out. If you go for natural birth, SURE sayang the moment you see baby cos all your hard work is paid off. Same like your sister ...csect...where got sayang her son? At night can go out with husband, leave son at home to sleep.


O_O

my mum also said that.. she say C-sect wouldnt feel that push so baby n u wouldnt soo bond.. infact she ask me go for C-sect...she also C-sect us.. but also we so bond... is the upbringing.. not the push or not push mahh

 

[tika]

I hate to say this but what your mother said is just crazy.

I had a natural birth but I didn't feel a thing for my baby when she was born. I just felt relieved that my pregnancy and labour was over.

she does say the craziest illogical things sometimes (which is why i hardly get along with her!)

I felt that way too when i had my 1st. The relieve of not being pregnant anymore overwhelmed me. I was really thrilled. For my 1st pregnancy, I couldn't walk for 4 months. It was horrible. Then 1.5 years later... pregnant again laahh. But luckily 2nd time pregnancy not as jia lat as my first. I thought maybe that's why i felt love when i saw 2nd dotter. Cos I did not spend most of the 9 months in pain and could bond with her when she was in my tummy. I did not really bond with my 1st cos I was too much in constant pain.

my love for the both of them is equal now. so i guess it doesn't really matter whether there was that feeling when i first saw her. cos the feeling DID grow steadily over the many months. Especially when she started to respond to my voice! I get a warm fuzzy feeling when that happens. Heehee.

 

[tika]

LOL!! I did that too!!! Hahahaha. Went out with hubby at night and left baby at home to zzzz...

I think it's perfectly ok. Our babies will feel secure when they know that mummy and daddy has a strong relationship.

this is another thing i never understood abt my mom. If my sister were to bring son along my mother would probably disagree too! Isn't it better to leave baby at home to zzzz then to drag baby out with us. Plus we need quality time with hubby. Can't be with baby 24/7.

 

[Ting]

I did not for my first baby. I read so many articles saying first time mommies will feel so much love for their babies the moment they see them. I did not have such a feeling. In fact i remember i was shocked by how ugly she was. 2 weeks after delivery, I still did not feel the love for my child. I only started loving her when she turned 3 months. I felt so guilty for not loving her sooner. It was really odd. Any other mommies felt same way as me? Or was i weird?

for my second baby, wahhh the love i felt was so intense the moment she was born. I felt more normal the second time round.

hmmmm, not really, i guess i did feel the love. i was pretty excited for her to get out of me! lol!
n when i carried her the next morning, i was thinking, dang, this lil beautiful baby is like, MINE!? hahahaha. sometimes til now, i cant believe i gv birth to this lil monster..
but i hv to agree, in the beginning, i didnt care n love her as much as i do now, the love n bond just grows much more each day.

last time, i can leave her at home while i went out with my frens to shopping/partying. but now, the moment i step out of the hse i miss her alr... sometimes will stand at the door n sneak a few more glances at her b4 i go... hehe.

 

[tika]

hmmmm, not really, i guess i did feel the love. i was pretty excited for her to get out of me! lol!
n when i carried her the next morning, i was thinking, dang, this lil beautiful baby is like, MINE!? hahahaha. sometimes til now, i cant believe i gv birth to this lil monster..
but i have to agree, in the beginning, i didnt care n love her as much as i do now, the love n bond just grows much more each day.

last time, i can leave her at home while i went out with my friends to shopping/partying. but now, the moment i step out of the house i miss her already... sometimes will stand at the door n sneak a few more glances at her before i go... hehe.

haha i also sometimes wonder. i still can't believe i gave birth to 2 girls already. They look very different from each other too. Also when hubby and i go dating outside, we will still talk abt the girls. I will ask hubby wonder what they are doing at home. They occupy my mind almost 24/7.

 

[suicul]

Hmm, then does that mean i am abnormal, coz i felt LOVE for my baby when i first saw him on the ultrascan, just a little sac at 4 weeks!
As he grow, the anticipation & excitement & love grow! I will talk/sing and sayang my tummy everyday.
When i finally "push" him out, my 1st thought was that he is the cutest thing and the greatest achievement i ever had!
I felt so blissful when i 1st held him in my arms and he gaze back at me...HEE

guess you are normal.. same as you, i oredi luv my baby when my gynae cfm of my pregnancy at 5 wks :wong19:.. luv him till i nearly wanted to quit job and stay hm to look after him by myself but financial dont allow sigh.. feel very sad (even cry) on the 1st day i left him to the care of my mom to go back to work.. only nw am starting to get used the idea of only seeing him once or twice on wkdays, and back home on fri nite till sun evening cos my mom's place is too far from home to fetch him home everyday

 

[annie]

hmm when my girl just came out, the moment i see her, i smile widely. cos she looks soooooooo much like hubby! like a mini version of hubby! so i felt it was funny n also felt that i finally can see her after so many mths.. i dunno if thats love but i felt really great n i request to have her in my rm 24hrs a day. so basically she dun return to the nursery unless for shower.. then i remember.. immediately after they bring her away n tell me they will bring her back after showering her n do the necessary things, i kept asking how long it will take n when she will be return to me. then after i went back to the ward, i called the nursery a few times to check when she can come to me lol. think they sure feel im so annoyed! LOL. i keep looking at her though she kept sleeping. just looking at her made me felt so bless.. hehe

when i saw my girl's 'shape' during my 16th week scan. i just felt life is so amazing.. lol.

tika, y u say your first bb ugly? lol. so your 2nd one looks better? i felt my girl looks.. mature.. she has no bb fats at all when she was born! face sharp sharp..

 

[chiro]

when i saw johanan at the first time... It was a feeeling of so familiar yet so unfamiliar hehe, his little hand grabbed my finger and that moment was magical as our eyes met, looking at each other. Hehe, gynae placed him on my chest as they stitched up my c section wound and so on. Johanan was making timid noises as he can feel he rolling down towards my face. And he did rolled down and kissed my cheek haha

 

[annie]

arrgg.. life is soooooooooo amazing... just imagine.. a sperm n an egg forms a life! a life which is created by u n hubby n looks like u both in some way or another. character also similar to u both in some ways... growing from an embryo to a bb n finally out to see the world.. n from a fragile bb who knows nothing n even cant control their own hands to an adult. learning slowly as they grow up. learn to control their limbs, sit, stand, walk, talk etc.. isnt that amazing? hehe. though all the above said are wat everyone knows, i cant help but always felt life is amazing when i look at my girl. whahahahah

 

[uddermummy]

understand what you mean, annie! I actually teared when i first saw dd's heart beat when she was about 6 weeks old! And it was just a pulsating dot in the scan! Hahaha. So paiseh!

I also delivered dd through c-section, and it was a painful and traumatic c-section. When the doctor told me that dd was out, I actually told him, "Finally!" :001_302:

But the first time i saw her after the anaesthetic wore off, I was so amazed at the tiny little thing that the nurses handed to me. The funny thing was, i was so excited that it didn't occur to me that i should unwrap her and check her carefully. In fact, i didn't think of that until the third day, and when i did, i was so worried that something might have been missing and i hadn't realised it.

 

[hueychye79]

My baby is almost 7 weeks, love him so much since day 1..

I still remember when I discharge from hospital, can't sleep and kept think about my baby. (We put him sleep with another room with confinement aunty)

Now, my baby can 'play' with us. He like to smile.

Even sometimes he is sleep in his baby cot, every time I see him sure tell my hubby - our baby so cute.. ^_^

So amazing that 2 months before he is still in my womb and now is already 5kg plus...

Getting heavier and heavier.. :tlaugh:

 

[tika]

tika, why you say your first baby ugly? lol. so your 2nd one looks better? i felt my girl looks.. mature.. she has no baby fats at all when she was born! face sharp sharp..

haha my 2nd one looks just as ugly. All white with mucus and puffy. But for my 2nd one i know what to expect you see. So i wasn't shocked. My 1st pregnancy, I really thought baby will come out and nurse will bathe her first, comb her hair nice nice, put powder then bring her to me. So gullible horr. haha.

 

[HoneyLicious]

i'm already in love with my baby since i know he's IN me. my pregnancy was quite tough with morning sickness up to 5months and nausea all the way till i give birth, kept having threatened pre-term labor etc. but i love my boy so much i kept telling myself it's worth going thru all the pain.

the moment he's born i kept tearing and can't take my eyes off him, even when i feel the stinging pain while doctor stitch me up (no epi). i felt so in love But i do admit he looked kinda weird, so pale and puffy and his head was really long.. but nonetheless i still can't take my eyes off him. that night after delivery i wanted the baby to stay in the room with me but the nurse told me to sleep, haha.. but the next morning after his injection, bath and check up baby is with me the whole time..

 

[annie]

lol i totally never check my bb leh. i didnt know have to check.. i thought nurses never say anything wrong means ok lo hehe.

my girl came out very clean leh. no white dots or watsoever...she looks powdery though. as in her skin colour. looks like applied powder lol. snow white. i heard some ppl say their bb looks purple when born also. think every bb different...

 

[uddermummy]

my husband told me that my girl came out with her bum covered in poop. :001_302:

but by the time i was conscious enough to see her, she was very clean liaoo.

just that her eyes and face were v puffy.

 

[tika]

my first dotter was purple my hubby said. it was not a pleasant sight. she didn't immediately cry when they took her out so she was turning purple slowly. I saw her only after nurse smack her buttock and she cried. Then her face turned pinkish. But still ugly and white with mucus.

The nurse came to my ward and said..your baby so cute. then my hubby said how come all you ladies can always see the cuteness in newborn babies ah? I don't understand. To me all newborns are ugly. They'll only turn cute once the water retention goes away. so blunt one my hubby. Then the nurse replied... you dunno meh? Definition of Cute is UGLY but ADORABLE.

hahaha.