International Marriage

[annie]

I came to realise a few mummies here have hubby of different race or nationality. Im ont of them hehe. care to share your spouse race/nationalities here??

I shall start first. Im singaporean. hubby japanese. :001_302:

 

[tika]

i'm malay, hubby's ethnicity is sindhi.

is your hubby singaporean too?
i realise many ppl mistake nationality to be race as well.

do you face cultural differences/conflicts when it comes to your baby? either between hubby and you or your inlaws and you?

 

[annie]

nationality n race? lol. they are totally differnt! hehe. hubby is japanese (both race n nationality). we are staying in japan..

hmm... culture difference got but conflicts not really.. when it comes to my bb, my hubby let me handle almost everything n dosent really question or against wat i do.. hehe

 

[tika]

oh yah..i forgot you are in japan. i saw your blog. heheh.

that's good that your hubby lets you decide. my hubby has to keep correcting his parents abt our dotter's mixed race. they keep referring to her as a Sindhi baby...completely ignoring the fact that her mommy is malay.

Old mentality...*rolls eyes*

 

[annie]

ooh.. hmm.. my girl is both japanese n singaporean. she holds both passport.. but im the one who always refer her to a japanese lol. she has only japanese name n no eng or chi name.. im ok with it. both me n hubby agrees that we will let her decide on which nationality she wanna choose after she reach 21yrs old. (its the rule to choose between 1 when she reach 21yrs old)

 

[HoneyLicious]

im indonesian chinese and my hubby is singaporean chinese-malay.

as he's half malay, his mom side is muslim, so there's a little conflicts here and there but hubby always stand strong for me.

 

[annie]

nice hubby u have! ancing_wub:

 

[shiseru]

Nationality - My hubby is neighbour, from Malaysia now Singapore PR.

Race - He looks awfully like a Malay so I kinda suspect his mother may have brought home the wrong baby.

We went ROM without parents knowing, forbidden love. Over the past 12 years, my parents had never met his parents.

 

[tinkerball]

Nationality - My hubby is neighbour, from Malaysia now Singapore PR.

Race - He looks awfully like a Malay so I kinda suspect his mother may have brought home the wrong baby.

We went ROM without parents knowing, forbidden love. Over the past 12 years, my parents had never met his parents.

same goes here.. my hubby is malaysian. his parents in spore. some of his siblings is in all over malaysia. imagine having your family scattered across two continents and getting a headache over where to spend the festive season..

 

[annie]

wah 12yrs never met each other! my side also! lol. i have met my hubby's parents n hubby has met my parents but then our parents have never met each other. not forbidden love though hee. jsut that they are too far from each other (japan n sg) n old ppl travel 7hrs in plane a bit xingku thus didnt purposely ask them to meetup... hhe

 

[MomoMummy]

Nationality - My hubby is neighbour, from Malaysia now Singapore PR.

Race - He looks awfully like a Malay so I kinda suspect his mother may have brought home the wrong baby.

We went ROM without parents knowing, forbidden love. Over the past 12 years, my parents had never met his parents.

Woah... so cool you.. realli deep in love with your hubby.

my husband malaysian and me singaporean. to me it affects me a lot!
i dunno y they dun like singaporeans. even hubby thinks we singaporeans dun have manners la, all we think abt is money money, young tt time nv learn moral all that. even his msia friends although kidding la but keep saying "see la, you all singaporeans" then say if not for money, i also dun wan stay here. :nah:

MIL from the start know i pregnant say she dun wan stay in singapore for long. say not use to the life here. ask if can bring baby to malaysia while i stay in sg work.

hubby cousin whu is working in sg send her son to her mom in msia for 2 years. after that then study here put to nanny. ( i dunno what she say is the truth or helping my MIL )
MIL ask me if can bring up to msia den 3 years old return to me back. i was v angry inside but i calmly tell her.. what if my daughter falls sick? she say there they have doctors what. then i say i dun bare for her to leave me. she say aiyah dun think baby will fall sick then she leave the rm.

to me, i think if my daughter fall sick or anything happen to her, she wont let us know also. dun let us worry.. if not how we going to see our daughter?? is a 8 hour drive up there.

there was once MIL was changing pampers for DD. Petpet which we bought in singapore finish so i pass to her i think drypers which we bought in msia. she say eh how come different. i say this want bought in msia.
then she say " she is malaysia blood wat, not singapore blood "
Can u imagine my pain inside? i carry her for 40 weeks and u say she is not singapore blood. u meaning that she is not my child lo? i quarrel with hubby when i told him what happen. so angry i went downstars and he chase me behind.

hai so many lo.. i didnt know this international relation will affect me. but one thing i know for sure.. since now im taking care of DD myself, i ABSOLUTELY will not let her leave me and b so far away from me.

 

[tika]

then she say " she is malaysia blood what, not singapore blood "
Can you imagine my pain inside?

I can understand your pain. My mother in law says the same things about my dotter. Everything about my dotter is sindhi/pakistani. But lucky for me, my hubby has realised how RACIST his family is. So he supports me and always tells them off if they are insensitive to my ethnicity. We even quarreled with his parents because of that.

As a mixed race family, my hubby and I really do not encourage racial talks in front of our dotter. To us, we're all SINGAPOREANS. Doesn't matter what ethnicity we all come from.

But no....hubby's side keep praising their own ethnicity. Dare to put down my ethnicity at times. I used to keep quiet about it but now...I just tell them off for being racist. To prove our point that our dotter came from the BOTH of us and not just HER FATHER, our dotter's name includes both my name and her daddy's.

 

[yellowpudding]

I am a taiwanese (my dad) + indonesian dutch (my mom) whereas hubby is a singaporean chinese.

conflicts: differences in culture / upbringing.

 

[stonston]

I can understand your pain. My mother in law says the same things about my dotter. Everything about my dotter is sindhi/pakistani. But lucky for me, my hubby has realised how RACIST his family is. So he supports me and always tells them off if they are insensitive to my ethnicity. We even quarreled with his parents because of that.

As a mixed race family, my hubby and I really do not encourage racial talks in front of our dotter. To us, we're all SINGAPOREANS. Doesn't matter what ethnicity we all come from.

But no....hubby's side keep praising their own ethnicity. Dare to put down my ethnicity at times. I used to keep quiet about it but now...I just tell them off for being racist. To prove our point that our dotter came from the BOTH of us and not just HER FATHER, our dotter's name includes both my name and her daddy's.

You should film them down & send it to police post for racist remarks. This is what my neighbour (Indian) did to her FIL (Malay). First time he got stern warning from police & if there's a 2nd time, he'll have to go to court.

 

[annie]

wah stonston u so fierce.. lol. do things like that destroys her family n makes things worse n more difficult for her hubby wor.. sandwich in the family..

 

[Ting]

hmmm, my race is malay, but im also chinese.
hahahaha, very complicated family tree from my dad's side!
more like baba/pernarekan.

but i cant speak malay or anything, only race stated malay in IC.


bf is pure chinese.

 

[apollo]

Woah... so cool you.. really deep in love with your hubby.

my husband malaysian and me singaporean. to me it affects me a lot!
i dont know why they dont like singaporeans. even hubby thinks we singaporeans dont have manners , all we think about is money money, young that time never learn moral all that. even his msia friends although kidding but keep saying "see , you all singaporeans" then say if not for money, i also dont want stay here. :nah:

mother in law from the start know i pregnant say she dont want stay in singapore for long. say not use to the life here. ask if can bring baby to malaysia while i stay in sg work.

hubby cousin whu is working in sg send her son to her mom in msia for 2 years. after that then study here put to nanny. ( i dont know what she say is the truth or helping my mother in law )
mother in law ask me if can bring up to msia then 3 years old return to me back. i was very angry inside but i calmly tell her.. what if my daughter falls sick? she say there they have doctors what. then i say i dont bare for her to leave me. she say aiyah dont think baby will fall sick then she leave the rm.

to me, i think if my daughter fall sick or anything happen to her, she wont let us know also. dont let us worry.. if not how we going to see our daughter?? is a 8 hour drive up there.

there was once mother in law was changing pampers for dear daughter. Petpet which we bought in singapore finish so i pass to her i think drypers which we bought in msia. she say eh how come different. i say this want bought in msia.
then she say " she is malaysia blood what, not singapore blood "
Can you imagine my pain inside? i carry her for 40 weeks and you say she is not singapore blood. you meaning that she is not my child ? i quarrel with hubby when i told him what happen. so angry i went downstars and he chase me behind.

hai so many .. i didnt know this international relation will affect me. but one thing i know for sure.. since now im taking care of dear daughter myself, i ABSOLUTELY will not let her leave me and b so far away from me.

ur mil is CRAZY!!! just tel her, ur dd's blood is from ur hubby and urs... not msia or SG....

 

[shiseru]

then she say " she is malaysia blood what, not singapore blood "

Typical Malaysian mother in law. I will get very offended if she ever said this to me.

My hubby's parents are very easy going, the only thing is they dont't have good impression of a hairstylist which I was, they said gal working in salon is flirtatious, but they never really force us to break up.

As for my side, typical singaporean parents, my dad said his education only sec 3 so not good enough, he seemed to forget I also O level niaz *roll eyes*, only took diploma after that.

My mum said he not rich, so not good enough but to me, he is down to earth and works hard for family. Most importantly, he is likely to listen to me than his parents so I am #1 *evil grin*

Both his parents had passed away and still our parents had never met, not even seen photos before. The time we went ROM, only 4 persons, my hubby and me, and my friend and her hubby, thatz all lohz.

These 12 years, his attitude has been the same as before marraige. I think God has given me the greatest gift knowing my husband.

 

[annie]

wah.. envy u shiseru.. so far my hubby haven change also la but then we only married less than 3 yrs.. together for 4yrs before married. so consider 7yrs? how many yrs u know your hubby(as in dated) before getting married? how i wish me n hubby can maintain like this till 12yrs or more like u n your hubby too! may god bless us.. hehe

 

[MomoMummy]

oh .. if me i know he is the one for me i will also like you.. forbidden love.
if u marry a guy super rich and got masters, he may not treat u as well as how yr hubby treat u now also. n when some guys are rich, got a lot of problems..