need mummy's opinions

[cinx]

mummies ... need your opinions

if your in laws want to take your son out, do they need to ask your permission ? and if yes, how i have to tell them, that they have to ask my permission before take my son out even its only going down to 7/11 .........

my biggest problem is MIL again ..... she likes to take him out ... yes, it's only going down to the garden and playground ... but she never ask me, she just said i'm going to take him down or if my son wear short sleeves, my MIL will ask me why i make him wear so short, she's going to take him downstairs

i really want to say something to her ... but my mum said, they have all the rights ... but for me ... they're just grand parents and I'm the mother .. if something happen then how... whose going to responsible ...

it seem my MIL thinks ... she got all the right with my son .. it really pisses me off ... :bmad::bmad::bmad::bmad::bmad::bmad::bmad::bmad::bmad:

 

[candy_ian]

My mil doesn't stay with me but she ever call my hubby say wanna bring my son out..hubby didn't even have chance to ans n sHe came knocking.. I told her straight at her face that she won't b able to handle my son n I'm not ready for anyone else other than my hubby to take him out.. I think I was rude but I think no need to b too polite to my mil after whatever that she did to us before n during preggie.. If u r on gd terms with mil I think a notice frm her before bringing son out is still necessarry

 

[DELvy]

My mum is looking after my nephew and my SIL is totally cool about her taking my nephew out. As long as you trust your in-laws, I guess should be ok ba. Else, my mum can't possibly keep calling my SIL at work just to tell her that she's bringing her grandson downstairs. Just my personal thoughts. :001_302:

 

[Phoebii Cheng]

I think it is basic courtesy to ask....even your in law

My in law does not stay with me, and she seldom want to bring my son out, cos' my son not tht close to her...as for my mum, there was once that she brought him out without my permission and I told her next time must let me know, what if I could not find my son and I report police how? Since then, she will tell me if she bring my son out.

You hv to trust the person bringing your bb out, if you don't trust them even if you allow it, you will not feel peaceful....

 

[Ting]

if u really dont feel comfortable letting her bring your baby out, perhaps u can tell her nicely?
or maybe get your hubby to let his mum know.
hmmm or maybe,u can do something like when she wanna take your boy out, then u tell her, oh, u nvr tell me, im bringing him out today. see if she gets the hint?

for me, my parents always bring pin out w/o informing me, but im ok with it lahs, cos they do it on a daily basis, esp my dad who brings her to the aquarium shop almost every other day.
for me, im comfy with them bringing her out, i know they can handle her well.

 

[apollo]

i dun stay with inlaws but my FIL will bring ds out to the corridge door for a walk. tt time during CNY at relatives' hse, my MIL brought ds down for a walk, she also didnt ask me just told us she was bringing him down for a walk.. hmm so far i'm okay with it, at least she got let me know and not bringing him down without letting me noe. my parents more jialat, they will just open the door, bring ds out, den when i come out from the toilet, my son disappeared alrdy! haha... but cos i noe must be my parents bringing him down so i'm okay with it too lahh.. haha..

lik wat Ting said, if u're uncomfy over this, mayb tell ur MIL dun bring him down too often? lik tt she will know what u mean and next time she will ask u b4 bringing him out?

 

[pink_daisy]

tat time when my mil was still staying with us, i told her not to bring my son out..not even downstairs.. she said ok ok but i noe she brought him out behind my back... sigh...nothing much we can do.. i talked to her nicely but she just orr orr orr but still do things her way

 

[pineappletart]

if she can handle your baby in all possible situations, then by all means. lol.
i think even if they dont ask, at least they'll have the courtesy to just let me know.

imagine u go around searching for your baby in the house, then they suddenly come back from outside. wahh... confirm TL one right? hehe.

my mil is a gann cheongg spider, so she herself too nervous to bring my baby anywhere. :tlaugh:
as for my mom, she'll definitely ask me or let me know laa. and even if she doesnt, im ok with it.

if your in laws are ok or nice folks, then let it go laa. unless they give you attitude or think that you r "nobody", then diff story

 

[stonston]

My parents do inform me when they bring my boy out. There was once they did not and I actually blew up cos I told them I got a shock when I reached home and he was not home. I mean, I'm expecting him to be home since no one said that they are bringing him out and when he's not there, I'm very worried!

My mum will send me a SMS to inform me.

 

[Renzie]

IMO,I think its better for your in-laws and your parents to inform you when they are bringing the child out. Especially when you are the primary caregiver.

Imagine you are getting ready to bring your kid out, then when you turn around she/he is no longer there, you'll probably get worried especially when they start to learn how to crawl and/or walk. Even though they are the in-laws, but at the end of the day, you are the parent. I don't mind them taking her out, but would really appreciate it if they tell me, at least if there's anything, I know where to find them, secondly, at least I don't need to get worried and search the whole house for nothing.

Maybe you can talk to your husband about it, about informing the parents before bringing out the child. Its not about having rights or not rights, but about consideration, especially when what if she comes over, take your child out, without notification, and your husband is not home, you'll be extremely worried at where your child is and who is he/she with. Plus what if you have plans for your child that day? and because of their inconsideration of not informing you beforehand, you had to cancel your plans?

 

[Fisherman's Friend]

As my girl was being look after by my mum over the weekday, so i trusted her all, coz she cun possibly call me at my office and tell me she is bringing my girl out all the time. As over the weekends, since im home, i do expect anyone to at least ask me for permission if they are brining her out.

There was once my sil brought my girl over to her in laws house (over the street) without telling me, i was like super gan jiong duno where my girl was, went dowstairs to find oso dun have. Till when she came back, i told her to at least let me know my girl is with her and not just went over lidat. Since then, they will always ask for my permission or tell me they are bringing my girl downstairs to the playground or go dowstairs to buy things.

I think these are all just basic courtesy that they should practice. Try to tell your in laws in a nice way bah, at least you dun always have to worry that they might bring your kid out without your knowledge.

 

[AugBoyz]

As a basic courtesy, shld let the parents know that they are bringing the child out, even to the playground downstairs.

When son was younger my mum look after him n I have to persuade my mum to bring him out coz mum dun dare to then tell me tt no veggies to cook for dinner blah blah hahaha~ So I told her to bring son to the NTUC which is 5-10mins walk fm her hse.

Now tt son is older, i dun stop my ILs (who moved in with us) fm bringing him to the coffee shop a street away. BUT I train son to ask for MY permission before he can go out of the house with anyone (except his dad lah kekeke)

 

[littlehelper]

hmmm i don't think it will be convenient for you to keep answering calls from her just to get permission for her to bring ur son out.
However, i think there is a need to let you know where they will be.
I suggest you let her know where and when do you allow her to bring ur child out.
So you set the rules not her.Tell her that she can eg bring him to the playgrounds on monday wed and fridays at 5.30 pm only,come back by 6.If she's going to bring him elsewhere please call to let u know.

 

[TANZHENZHI]

As a basic courtesy, she should tell you that she wants to bring your son out. For me, i staying with my MIL. She dun like to bring dear son out becos very troublesome. So usually if she want to buy things from market also will wait for us to come back then go down together. It's a mutual trust btw you and MIL.

 

[orchids]

I'm not sure what's your reservation about your mother-in-law bringing you child downstairs (not far from home), but at least she did inform you. Dont't worry if she can manage and is in good health cos it shows that she loves your son which is a good thing.

Honestly, most people (myself included, paiseh) tend to treat their parents better than their parents-in-law. :302: But I do remind myself not to overstep, after all, they brought up my husband and they are old.

All the best to motherhood! :wewink:

 

[flyaway]

I used to be uptight about my in-laws bringing my child out when I went back to work after my maternity leave. I wonder what if my child had an accident outside etc? Who should be responsible for it? Will they bear the consequence if anything is to happen to my child? Was very mad with them initially cos I am the Mother and how dare they took my child away without informing me?? :001_302:

They don't bother to inform me cos I think they think they are taking care of her so no big deal. Anyway, after that, I LL have to let go slowly. Just tolerate since they are taking care of her, once she goes CC, they can't do anything to her too. :001_302:

 

[cinx]

i'm a little bit worried .. coz my MIL's hand got little problem ...

i think i'm gonna tell my husband to tell his parents and sis, if they want to bring him out they have to ask permission from me ... may be not permission, but at least telling me 'hey i'm going downstair with ur son' or teach my son to say 'can i go down for a while' ... not just going out like that ...

becoz eventough now i already had my own son, but everytime i came back to my parents house .. and going out somewhere .. i'm sure gonna call my parents to inform them that I'm going out ..

may be it's different habit ... but i still expect them to do the same ... how i supposed to tell them

 

[Renzie]

Maybe it'll be better to just get your husband to tell them?

This type of matter, I usually ask my husband to tell them. I also wouldn't know how to open my mouth to ask them how to do it as well. Plus I know that hubby might throw a temper especially if we or I get worked up if I don't know where the child is. Just explain to them that it's good to inform you when they are bringing out your boy, or else you might get worried what happened and where is he and where is he, if something came up and you need to find him.

 

[apollo]

i'm a little bit worried .. coz my mother in law's hand got little problem ...

i think i'm gonna tell my husband to tell his parents and sis, if they want to bring him out they have to ask permission from me ... may be not permission, but at least telling me 'hey i'm going downstair with your son' or teach my son to say 'can i go down for a while' ... not just going out like that ...

becoz eventough now i already had my own son, but everytime i came back to my parents house .. and going out somewhere .. i'm sure gonna call my parents to inform them that I'm going out ..

may be it's different habit ... but i still expect them to do the same ... how i supposed to tell them

but, get ur hubby to tell them to at least inform u so u will not get worried when u see ur son not ard. =)

 

[shopaholic]

I dont expect inlaws to inform/call me (I'm at work) if they bring my kids to the market or downstairs to buy something. But if I'm at their place and they wish to bring my kids downstairs, then I think it's basic courtesy to inform me that they're going out.