Offended being a SAHM

[MomoMummy]

Hi all SAHM mummies!

Got no place to vent except here cos everyone is SAHM whu will know my feelings.

Got another crude remark from someone whom i dun relli know.. my BIL ex gf to b exact.. remark: " So u whole time at home do nothing lo "
Do any SAHM got this type of remarks from relatives or friends?

Seriously everytime pple say "aiya so gd no need work stay at home", i will feel like giving the person 2 tight slap n say u are not a mother u wont know how tough it is...

being a SAHM is harder than being in the working life.. but i do salute mummies whu have to work but come back and have to look after their kids at nite.

im looking after my girl alone as mom is super busy with work and mil in msia whu tells me not use to living in singapore. but honestly i would rather tt i look after my dd alone than i go work and have to live with her.

going toilet and doing housechores my girl have to sit in the walker and follow me everywhere i go.
Imagine sweeping the floors n my girl follow me everywhere chasing the broom.
N not forgetting that when im sick, i have to pluck all the energy that i have to look after my girl. cos there is so such thing as taking MC being a SAHM alone.

so much to do that i think all SAHM would know and pple can say so free being at home..

so all i can tell those pple is u are not a mother, u wont know. :embarrassed:

 

[pineappletart]

huhh? nothing to do?? that means they are the lazy ones at home lorr. lol. because it tells u that when they are at home, they have nothing to do. . wont help out even. tssk tssk tskk. hehe
im not a SAHM but 4 months of maternity leave at home is enuf really.
i rather go back to work to be honest. the work at home never seems to end. everyday almost the same some more. many times cant even bath as
i wish. must see if baby ok/ asleep/ crying/ safe or not, etc, cant take an hour lunch like at work, no adult to chit chat gossip, everyday think of what to cook for hubby when he comes home, wash dishes, bath baby, feed baby, clear dog poop, laundry hang, dry, fold, etc etc etc.
not that work will end at my workplace, but at least when time's up, i pack bag go home, got off days, spend my own salary, etc.
i think those who passed that kind of comment r just comparing
-no need to report to work on time
-no need to see boss's "face"
-no need to take in sh*t from customers/ colleagues
-no need to strive for $$, hubby will always give BIG allowance every month

true to some extend and i believe there are pros and cons for everything, but dont say words like SO FREE AT HOME laa...
but honestly, they just have to be in a SAHM's shoes then they'll realize its not a shake leg job lorr


:embarrassed: really cant wait for helper to arrive...

 

[CanCanMum]

i dddink pple who passed such remarks are really pple who have not went thru it to really noe how to take good care of a family.

i m FTWM but my attention and time is only so much. I cannot divide myself into 2, meaning i can only concentrate on either Baber or my work at any time. My house is always cleaned on weekends only OR worst alternate weekends if we are both so tired. My dirty laundry gets piled up if i dunn wash it every 2 days. My house is always in need of tidying, documents lying around, dirt here and there.......

whereas SAHM can concentrate and divote all her time to her family and children. Doing housework can take up one whole day already, let alone take care of baby, buying groceries, and COOKING!!! Who says SAHM = do NOTHING???!!!! I ddink its really a terrible thing to have said tat.

 

[MomoMummy]

im not a stay at home mum but 4 months of maternity leave at home is enuf really.

huhh? nothing to do?? that means they are the lazy ones at home lorr. lol. because it tells you that when they are at home, they have nothing to do. . wont help out even. tssk tssk tskk. hehe

i rather go back to work to be honest. the "work" at home never seems to end. everyday almost the same some more. many times cant even bath as
i wish must see if baby ok/ asleep/ crying/ safe or not, etc, cant take an hour lunch like at work, no adult to chit chat gossip, everyday think of what to cook for hubby when he comes home, wash dishes, bath baby, feed baby, clear dog poop, laundry hang, dry, fold, etc etc etc.
not that work will end at my workplace, but at least when time's up, i pack bag go home, got off days, spend my own salary, etc.
i think those who passed that kind of comment r just comparing
-no need to report to work on time
-no need to see boss's "face"
-no need to take in sh*t from customers/ colleagues
-no need to strive for $$, hubby will always give BIG allowance every month

true to some extend and i believe there are pros and cons for everything, but dont say words like SO FREE AT HOME laa...
but honestly, they just have to be an stay at home mum's shoes then they'll realize its not a shake leg job lorr


:embarrassed: really cant wait for helper to arrive...

exactly pineappletart mummy.. sometimes i feel realli stress up that im lock in the house and esp when hubby overseas.. i breakdown cos there is realli nobody at home to even talk to me.. xcept for my DD whu blah blah to me.

least i come back from work thats the end of my day.. i get to slowly walk to bus stop listen to music, see the scenery.. last time sick of it.. now miss it! n yes most impt the salary part!!!

bank $$ is getting lesser n lesser month by month.. :wong13:

 

[pineappletart]

well, unless she's passing the comment on a SAHM who has 2 maids, a cook and a full time nanny laa. :001_302:

 

[MomoMummy]

i dddink pple who passed such remarks are really pple who have not went thru it to really know how to take good care of a family.

i m full time working mum but my attention and time is only so much. I cannot divide myself into 2, meaning i can only concentrate on either Baber or my work at any time. My house is always cleaned on weekends only OR worst alternate weekends if we are both so tired. My dirty laundry gets piled up if i dunn wash it every 2 days. My house is always in need of tidying, documents lying around, dirt here and there.......

whereas stay at home mum can concentrate and divote all her time to her family and children. Doing housework can take up one whole day already, let alone take care of baby, buying groceries, and COOKING!!! Who says stay at home mum = do NOTHING???!!!! I ddink its really a terrible thing to have said that.

everytime someone says this to me i wont just go numb and i dunno what to even tell them. because by their remarks it sounds like an embarrasing thing..

if i goes back working when dd is old enuff to b in childcare.. i would definately be in the situation like u too..

 

[pineappletart]

exactly pineappletart mummy.. sometimes i feel really stress up that im lock in the house and esp when hubby overseas.. i breakdown cos there is really nobody at home to even talk to me.. xcept for my dear daughter whu blah blah to me.

least i come back from work thats the end of my day.. i get to slowly walk to bus stop listen to music, see the scenery.. last time sick of it.. now miss it! n yes most impt the salary part!!!

bank $$ is getting lesser n lesser month by month.. :wong13:

ya ya lock up is the feeling to describe sometimes! my hubby sometimes early early go work late late come back. i feel even more "crappy" & bored. like screaming inside for some kind of relieve or freedom inside. LOL. :001_302:
BUT that does not mean we dont like to spend time with our angels. i believe we try to give our best to our children but we also need time off sometimes.

*hugs* dont screw your head into the wall anymore. LOL!

as for the $$$$, i guess cant be helped? dont talk about rich SAHM or some successful / founders/ inventors/ blah blah SAHM like those featured in oprah's show laa, but most SAHM i know have to depend largely on their hubbys.

 

[stonston]

There are "nothing to do" type of SAHM. Those are TAI TAI.
They got many maids to do housework, nannies to look after kids, kids go to enrichment classes the whole day.

Different type of SAHM. Cannot compare with HANDS ON SAHMs!
You are spending quality time with your children which many FTWM would also like. So IGNORE IGNORANT PEOPLE. Enjoy your time with your kiddos and be happy

 

[Phoebii Cheng]

I really salute all stay at home mums, that is the reason why I choose to work and not stay at home cos' if stay at home, you get no rest days, work work work 24/7 and yeah like what you say, even MC oso hv to take care of bb, hv to cook, do housework, play & teach bb...and many more

There is no me time, at least at work you get to talk to colleagues and friends and enjoy lunch time.....

And to all mummies out there, whether you are stay at home or working mum, jia you! you are the best!

 

[jasobias]

yup SAHM is no bed of roses.I miss the times when i was working.Can go toilet pee in peace,eat lunch quietly n socialise at work. Its tough.Those big mouth pple r probably just shaking legs at home n letting their kids rot.Let kids do wht they want fr day to nite.Hungry..just open fridge n eat whtever!!N i bet their places r filthy.
As a SAHM i have very little privacy left..go pee 1 min also very difficult.When showering i am still answering kids questions"mummy..wht is 5 +5=...where do monsters go in the day?etc
Lunch or breakfast is eating on the move.I actually take 5 mins to eat anything..becomes such a habit then even when i am out i eat so fast.
N multi tasking can get tiring after a while too.
Even my hubby said its better to go to work than stay at home..hahhaha
ya dont bother wht those lazy pple r saying..just say"wah..u mean when u at home..u sit down shake legs ah..who look after kids n do housework n cook?"

 

[Ting]

ignore the ignorant.
though im a full time working mum now, i used to be a stay at home mum (though working parttime at night) for 18 mths before pin was in CC.
everyday have to wakey early to cook for baby, do laundry, pack up after baby makes a mess, entertain baby, wah, so busy everyday = nth to do at home?
for me, im lucky cos my mum told me to leave the hsewrk to her, i just focus on takin care of pin.
but i'll try to vaccum n make the place clean for pin, esp after she learns to crawl n walk.

these ppl r just plain ignorant n give comments b4 processing it thru their brains.
we know what we hv been doing, so just ignore bahs.
when it is their turn, they will hv someone saying the exact things to them.

 

[PinkDiamonds]

Actually I beg to differ that SAHM are more tiring than FTWM.

I think FTWM are more tiring than us SAHM because they are like holding 2 FT jobs - 1 to earn money, 1 to look after kids. They morning prepare kids for school/nanny, bring them there, go to work, knock off fetch them home, prepare dinner and still have to do some chores in the house. Which is why I'm quite reluctant to go back to work Hahahaha.

But of course I do believe some working mums will have some extra income to get a part-time cleaner to help out with chores, but it's still not very easy!

I have to thank my lucky stars that my daughter is quite independent to play on her own. Now that I'm pregnant as well I need a lot of rest so my girl is very understanding and plays on her own.

I did get such remark before, and i replied, "Yah lor, I stay at home do nothing. So good life you also want right?" And the person just kept quiet. Usually people say such things I just give them back the reply that they want.

 

[wenz]

being full time working but i can understand how diff it is for SAHM cos i'm a part time SAHM during weekends and need to look after my 3 kids on my own + 1 whole week of compile house work etc...

and u are right that once we are mother there's no room for falling sick, even FTWM also same, thou we can take MC from work but we cannot take MC from home else who is gonna look after my 3kids?
whenever i'm alittle unwell i will quickly take watever med i can find to not let it get worst....

and for those who had tat kind of thinking as in SAHM is like taitai then i can only say they will have their share of how TAITAI it is when its their turn...

 

[wenz]

Actually I beg to differ that stay at home mum are more tiring than full time working mum.

I think full time working mum are more tiring than us stay at home mum because they are like holding 2 FT jobs - 1 to earn money, 1 to look after kids. They morning prepare kids for school/nanny, bring them there, go to work, knock off fetch them home, prepare dinner and still have to do some chores in the house. Which is why I'm quite reluctant to go back to work Hahahaha.

But of course I do believe some working mums will have some extra income to get a part-time cleaner to help out with chores, but it's still not very easy!

I have to thank my lucky stars that my daughter is quite independent to play on her own. Now that I'm pregnant as well I need a lot of rest so my girl is very understanding and plays on her own.

I did get such remark before, and i replied, "Yah , I stay at home do nothing. So good life you also want right?" And the person just kept quiet. Usually people say such things I just give them back the reply that they want.

its really not easy being both, i would say as long as u r a mum, its not easy either way...
and u r right abt FTWM, basically we work from 6am till 11pm and still gotta wake up in between for feed/fuss from baby... and on weekends its 7am till 11pm... 24hours a day, 7days a week... still gotta feel stress over work and after work stress at home...

 

[CanCanMum]

yupppp

like i feel working has its pros and cons as well

staying at home has its pros and cons too

the only thing i fear most is

1) Baber next time gets distant from me when he grows up (u noe, teens tend to do tat to their mums, not so cute oredi) coz i only spend time with him after work and weekends.

2) my NEVERENDING HOUSEHOLD CHORESSSSSSSSSSSSS..........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz my laundry is piling up AGAINZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz

 

[meiteoh]

One of the reasons why SAHMs get this comment in this part of the world is partly from media stereotype. How many shows are there depict the housewife in its true nature - looking after kids, taking care of a home, cooking and so forth? Even the TV series Desperate Housewives does not accurately portray all its housewives with the exception of perhaps Lynette who has to care for three kids and a baby plus manage a home.

I was on the SAHM front for a good eight months and will soon join the working full time mums here. Just preparing for a job and all those pumping sessions is tiring enough. I used to think that it was tough being a SAHM but being a working mum who is breastfeeding and not paying for help (in my case) is harder. I can't take afternoon naps (like what I do now) and I'll definitely have daily housechores like Eva's CD laundry and all.

It's tough being a mum either way but whichever camp you're in, a thick skin is needed because when you're a SAHM, you'll get comments like this ("Oh, so nice, at home do nothing") but when you're a working mum, you'll get this like "Wah, you can give your kid to bbsitter ar? You should take care of her yourself, etc". Either way, you'll never please anyone so better to please yourself first.

 

[pineappletart]

yup stay at home mum is no bed of roses.I miss the times when i was working.Can go toilet pee in peace,eat lunch quietly n socialise at work. Its tough.Those big mouth pple r probably just shaking legs at home n letting their kids rot.Let kids do wht they want fr day to nite.Hungry..just open fridge n eat whtever!!N i bet their places r filthy.
As a stay at home mum i have very little privacy left..go pee 1 min also very difficult.When showering i am still answering kids questions"mummy..wht is 5 +5=...where do monsters go in the day?etc
Lunch or breakfast is eating on the move.I actually take 5 mins to eat anything..becomes such a habit then even when i am out i eat so fast.
N multi tasking can get tiring after a while too.
Even my hubby said its better to go to work than stay at home..hahhaha
ya dont bother wht those lazy pple r saying..just say"wah..you mean when you at home..you sit down shake legs ..who look after kids n do housework n cook?"

hahhahahhaahhah! thats a funny! :tlaugh:

 

[apollo]

i often receive such comments, esp i'm staying with my parents and ppl always have the mindset that i can just throw ds to my parents and they do EVERYTHING for me! there was a few occasions when my mum also got fed up and told my relatives "i only take care of my grandson once in awhile, and i do it WILLINGLY!"

ppl, esp relatives, wrose still, they were once a SAHM, came telling me "wow u very good horr, everyday stay at hm do NOTHING!" WTH is NOTHING???!! u mean i dont bath me son? i dont feed him? i dont tuck him to bed? i dont wash his bottles? i dont cook for him? i leave him unattended???

you see, ppl who have been thru being a SAHM can pass such sickening comments, let alone those who have not!

and personally i feel that in SG, many ppl LOOK DOWN on SAHM! i dunno y! I enjoy been one but the ppl ard me, parents, relatives, frens has been pestering with "when r u going to wk? it's not healthy to be a SAHM" WTH! my hubby didnt even ask this qns, not even once! who are they to care so much? healthy anot, depends on personal. i ebjoy the time with my son, i'm possesive over him. haha! :tlaugh:

 

[jojoki]

One of the reasons why SAHMs get this comment in this part of the world is partly from media stereotype. How many shows are there depict the housewife in its true nature - looking after kids, taking care of a home, cooking and so forth? Even the TV series Desperate Housewives does not accurately portray all its housewives with the exception of perhaps Lynette who has to care for three kids and a baby plus manage a home.

I was on the stay at home mum front for a good eight months and will soon join the working full time mums here. Just preparing for a job and all those pumping sessions is tiring enough. I used to think that it was tough being a stay at home mum but being a working mum who is breastfeeding and not paying for help (in my case) is harder. I can't take afternoon naps (like what I do now) and I'll definitely have daily housechores like Eva's CD laundry and all.

It's tough being a mum either way but whichever camp you're in, a thick skin is needed because when you're a stay at home mum, you'll get comments like this ("Oh, so nice, at home do nothing") but when you're a working mum, you'll get this like "Wah, you can give your kid to bbsitter ar? You should take care of her yourself, etc". Either way, you'll never please anyone so better to please yourself first.

meiteoh, u decided to go back to work? whos gonna take care of eva??

I actually enjoy being a sahm sooo much! Yes theres a lot to do but its not at all strenuous, unlike work. After 10 over years of working, I am so glad to take a break.

 

[shiyi]

SAHM is the lowest pay job in the world.. 24hrs of work + low salary!! i will slap anyone who says dat sahm does nothing at home.. all thought that sahm = taitai