mamapenguin
Member
Why doesn't she consult a marriage councillor? Sometimes a qualified 3rd party can see better & give reasonable advice.
Why can't you accept that she and i are JUST FRIENDS?
- Thread starter CanCanMum
- Start date
CanCanMum
Moderator
mamapenguin > yes she did. But she said the advices and suggestions are mostly what we have told her, if not alike but similar. She even asked her hb to go face-to-face counselling sessions with her but he refused to.
oh dear! My gf just broke into tears!! She thinks she is unable to provide the kids with a happy family and feels guilt stricken...
oh dear! My gf just broke into tears!! She thinks she is unable to provide the kids with a happy family and feels guilt stricken...
autumn82
Well-Known Member
Aiyoh, not her fault also.. dun need to feel guilt stricken la.. *shakes head* She kanna poison by her DH oredi..
She can provide the kids with a happy family de!! Dun worry, she has the means to do so! I believe every mum have this very special "powers"!! Tell her dun worry too much..
WeeFee's_Mummy
Member
his mamapenguin. thx for sharing your exp.
actually, i'm not surprised. men ARE by nature, visual creatures. & men ARE by nature spiritually weak. it IS a man's nature to have his cake & try to eat it too. this is the reason why, if you don't mind me saying so, some religions allow men to marry more than 1 wife - so he does not commit sin by having adulterous sex with other women. BUT this thread is not about religion so moving along ...
as women & as wives, we must be aware of all this. do not be too quick to assure yourself "thank God my hb is not like that", because one day, you might face the same issue. & if you're not prepared, it will hit you like a bomb.
as wives, the best we can do is keep our husbands interested, entertained & sexually excited. if the romance & passion is kept alive, hopefully he will not stray.
nothing is forever in this world. i like to think that a marriage is the WORST guarantee that you & your hb will be together. becos if you think that way, then you will become complacent ... & well as you know, men will stray.
it's easy to say this & say that, i know. i'm a woman too. i work, i look after bb, i get tired ... it's so difficult to be attentive to your husband's needs all the time when you're juggling so many things ... but we must never let the ball drop.
becos if we do, we will lose the game.
CanCanMum
Moderator
she is feeling this way becoz she said nowadays the hb did not talk much to the kids either.Aiyoh, not her fault also.. dun need to feel guilt stricken la.. *shakes head* She kanna poison by her DH oredi..
CanCanMum
Moderator
ancing_tongue:like tat very stressed hor. We now have 101 things to look after. No wonder we are from multi-racial society and also multi-task experts.
WeeFee's_Mummy
Member
Lol ... that's why women are superhumans!
mamapenguin
Member
It'll be terrible to go tru life forever worrying abt hb's fidelity. I want to have faith in my partner. I want to believe he loves me as much as I love him. Naive I know but why can't I have what my parents have?
So far my hb quite honest with me. Told me if I turn into an unkept Ah Soh, don't blame him for looking at other girls. I told him he must b reasonable oso mah. Can't expect me to immediately look like pre-pregnancy after birth. And if he wans me to look good he has to fork out the $$ for my gym session etc. Think I Angelina Jolie ar? Pregnant with twins still so skinny.
My hb is oso stricter than me. He say chatting guy or girl up over irc is considered cheating, especially more so if it's in a flirtatious manner. In fact, to him, any kind of flirting is considered cheating. Makes me very scared to talk to any guys!
I really don't know if closing one eye is a solution. Sometimes if a guy thinks he can step on a girl, they kind of lose respect for her and step harder.
So far my hb quite honest with me. Told me if I turn into an unkept Ah Soh, don't blame him for looking at other girls. I told him he must b reasonable oso mah. Can't expect me to immediately look like pre-pregnancy after birth. And if he wans me to look good he has to fork out the $$ for my gym session etc. Think I Angelina Jolie ar? Pregnant with twins still so skinny.
My hb is oso stricter than me. He say chatting guy or girl up over irc is considered cheating, especially more so if it's in a flirtatious manner. In fact, to him, any kind of flirting is considered cheating. Makes me very scared to talk to any guys!
I really don't know if closing one eye is a solution. Sometimes if a guy thinks he can step on a girl, they kind of lose respect for her and step harder.
SH74
Member
BIG BIG BIG BIG SIGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! really sad.
i alw tell my hb, 'dun do wat u dun wan me to do to u.'
hope ur gf can stay strong, ignore wat her hb say or do, concentrate on herself n kids.
cancanmum, y not ask ur gf join this forum? at least if she feels down, got us to SUPPORT her.
many ppl nowadays relate food w wife. will say things like 'everyday eat same food, also will sian. c wife or make love w wife also will sian. so must try diffi dish at times.'
so disgusted to hear ppl say that. some gals hv this thinking too, not just guys.
wat logic rite?
anyway, i feel that this is just an excuse ppl use to stray. how can compare food w wife?
it's really selfish that the guy say things like 'wife cant excite him'. his wife also nv complain abt him. he dare complain. his figure n looks still as good as b4 meh? stamina n performance still as good meh? SO ANGRY!! hahahaha...
realised that usu the party who has strayed will refuse to c marriage counsellor. i think 'cause they dun dare to b scolded by outsiders, knowing that they've alr done something wrong.
i alw tell my hb, 'dun do wat u dun wan me to do to u.'
hope ur gf can stay strong, ignore wat her hb say or do, concentrate on herself n kids.
cancanmum, y not ask ur gf join this forum? at least if she feels down, got us to SUPPORT her.
many ppl nowadays relate food w wife. will say things like 'everyday eat same food, also will sian. c wife or make love w wife also will sian. so must try diffi dish at times.'
so disgusted to hear ppl say that. some gals hv this thinking too, not just guys.
wat logic rite?
anyway, i feel that this is just an excuse ppl use to stray. how can compare food w wife?
it's really selfish that the guy say things like 'wife cant excite him'. his wife also nv complain abt him. he dare complain. his figure n looks still as good as b4 meh? stamina n performance still as good meh? SO ANGRY!! hahahaha...
realised that usu the party who has strayed will refuse to c marriage counsellor. i think 'cause they dun dare to b scolded by outsiders, knowing that they've alr done something wrong.
autumn82
Well-Known Member
Ya, its tough to keep on wondering if DH's flirting ard or not. U can trust but not total trust.. I feel that there must still be some kinda "spot check" at times.. Coz of the society nowadays. Jus my 2 cents worth
Wahsei.. Ur DH very strict hor? Cannot talk to guys & not even gals?? *faintz* How old is he? Duhz. But frankly speaking, I feel as wives, cannot live w/o frens & family members. U seriously won't know whether it will happen or not. *touchwood* So its always good to contact frens once in a while.
SH74
Member
hb treat wife good, also got chance to stray.
hb treat wife no good, confirm stray.
that's y that time i go fortune teller, when he talk abt marriage, i ask him how many marriages i'll hv. n whether it'll b a happy 1 or not. just to make myself feel better. hahaha...
my friend was shocked to hear that (esp. when i ask how many marriages i'll hv) when i'm not even married that time (still single).
luckily the fortune teller nv say anything bad abt marriage (like, i'll not b happy,...). if not, now sure will b more paranoid.
really backside itchy.
hb treat wife no good, confirm stray.
that's y that time i go fortune teller, when he talk abt marriage, i ask him how many marriages i'll hv. n whether it'll b a happy 1 or not. just to make myself feel better. hahaha...
my friend was shocked to hear that (esp. when i ask how many marriages i'll hv) when i'm not even married that time (still single).
luckily the fortune teller nv say anything bad abt marriage (like, i'll not b happy,...). if not, now sure will b more paranoid.
really backside itchy.
WeeFee's_Mummy
Member
it's really selfish that the guy say things like 'wife cant excite him'. his wife also nv complain abt him. he dare complain. his figure n looks still as good as b4 meh? stamina n performance still as good meh? SO ANGRY!! hahahaha...
men can don't care becos got china women & batam women maahhh ... they can be as fat & ugly as they want as long as got $$
WeeFee's_Mummy
Member
scary right? my ex bf was sooooper possessive. cannot even LOOK at other guys. what crap. thank god i left him! becos i was becoming very emotionally clingy & left all my friends etc
it's true what autumn82 said - never leave all your friends & family, even if ur hb demand that you do. becos one fine day you will surely need them.
mamapenguin
Member
It's not that he doesn't allow friends, he just frowns upon flirting. Or chatting with strangers online. My married gf does that alot. Chatting with strange men online.
SH74
Member
i believe in tao hua. my fortune teller got ask me dun b too nice to married men / attached guys also. but dunno is it every1 will kena.
but on my wedding day, my mil did pray fruits to get rid of my hb's tao hua. my mil say my hb has. dunno how true la. so far ok.
SH74
Member
true... so unfair. sigh........ :nah:
SunShine07
Member
yup, he looked like me, most ppl said this. And i feel proud of it :001_302:
CanCanMum
Moderator
hi mrs puppy,
can u share how to catch them red handed? (And not get seen?) coz u know my gf's hb is not spending weekends at home and my gf asks him he says he has his own plans...and he doesnt want her to tag along...
coz last night my gf canx sleep and called me. She found a carpark summon in his wallet few days ago, on the day before he told her "i hv no feelings for u.." (coz he took half day leave that day) and that area was in yishun....and that girl oso lives in yishun....
coz she still feels something wrong, but no proof? So i told her y not follow him today and see if he is really alone or with some other friends? If that then she can be rest assured, so that if her hb is cold towards her or dun spend time with her its also ok. And she can let him have his own way 100%. As long as he dun take this transitional period to go out with that girl.
CanCanMum
Moderator
hahaha! why u feel proud hah? Becoz ur hb is ugly izzit???
anywayz can pm me yr company's name?