Maids-The New Age of Slavery

[jasobias]

hehhee...wah loves this whole thread ah mostly me n u!!!

 

[potato]

I've had good and bad experiences with maids.. I think at the end of the day, it's how we treat each other?

 

[tika]

i'm more puzzled how some agencies can ignore and show total disrespect for a maid's religious obligations. I met a maid who worked for my sister 7 years ago, Teri, on Hari Raya day. She came to visit us. She's working for another family now. She said based on her observations, many of her indonesian Muslim friends who are maids, are told to cook pork, take care of dogs, not allowed to fast during ramadhan, etc. She said some agencies forced them to agree to such jobs or else they wouldn't get an employer here. So logically most maids would agree to do them. Teri herself now, have to handle pork on an everyday basis. She thought if she used gloves, her skin willnot come in contact with the meat and she could still carry on with cooking pork for her employer but her employer screamed at her for doing so.

Evil agencies. Can't they get a non-muslim FDW to do such jobs, eg workers from Philippines, Myanmar, Sri Lanka?

 

[jasobias]

i'm more puzzled how some agencies can ignore and show total disrespect for a maid's religious obligations. I met a maid who worked for my sister 7 years ago, Teri, on Hari Raya day. She came to visit us. She's working for another family now. She said based on her observations, many of her indonesian Muslim friends who are maids, are told to cook pork, take care of dogs, not allowed to fast during ramadhan, etc. She said some agencies forced them to agree to such jobs or else they wouldn't get an employer here. So logically most maids would agree to do them. Teri herself now, have to handle pork on an everyday basis. She thought if she used gloves, her skin willnot come in contact with the meat and she could still carry on with cooking pork for her employer but her employer screamed at her for doing so.

Evil agencies. Can't they get a non-muslim FDW to do such jobs, eg workers from Philippines, Myanmar, Sri Lanka?

Totally agree with u .We have to respect other religions doesnt matter the person,be they kids maids or even construction workers!

 

[Ashbaby]

I have seen cases where maid being abuse and the maid is the abuser. I have seen many maids in my neighbourhood area sitting on man laps when their employer not ard.

There is alway 2 side of a coin, u only said 1. Everyone is different, not every woman love to be a SAHM but that doesnt mean they not good mothers.

Of cos I dont agree with children being 100% taken care by maid and the parents are totally not involved.

I know many working mothers juggle btwn home, child, Hb and work. This is not any easy task. They just want more $$ for a better quality of life for their family.

My close family's friend has a very bad experience with maid. The maid dump the BB down the rubbish chute and BB didnt survived..... The maid then committed sucide. The family didnt ill treat the maid, but well guess the maid couldnt handle the stress of taking care of a BB. Becos of her, they lost their first child. Even she die, the BB doesnt come back anymore.

Personally, I dont like the idea of maid. I grew up with my mom around, although we were very poor but I did enjoy my mom's companion during childhood time.

To each his own on maid issues. If everyone can treat each other well, then its alway happy ending. But one side come up with problem, then its hell lots of story.

 

[Ashbaby]

Totally agree with you .We have to respect other religions doesnt matter the person,be they kids maids or even construction workers!

I believe most employer will state what they need from maid before employing them. I guess the maid have the right to reject the job if she think its not suitable for her.

If she need the $$ for a job, then there is something she need to look pass, becos her priority is the $$ for survival.

Just like lying is wrong, tell me how many sales dont lie? Its all against our religion to lie, but becos of $$ we have to surpass certain principal in our life. Sales alway have to boast abt their service and products, but as long as they dont causes any harm its still acceptable.

Same case for pork and dogs. If they dont consume the pork or clean up after touching the dogs. I believe God will not punish or discriminate her for being hardworking for the income for the needy family back in hometown.

I know of muslim who keep dogs as pet and train dogs in the police force.

Sometimes its good to know how to look beyond certain things in life, instead of harping on certain rules and regulation. The road the lies infront of us is alway there, but we as human have to learn how to be flexible in handling issues in our life.

 

[tika]

What you say is true. However you are on a different page altogether. I'm talking about the agencies here. Not whether the maid has the choice or not to reject a job.

Alot of agencies are unethical in this matter.

 

[chachaleo]

I know this topic wld stirr a cord with many.
I was reading some posts regarding maids n how some mummies are having some problems with them.
I am actually against this idea of having maids.I think it has made many people really slack,mean n self righteous.N the way the maids are being treated is hardly any different fr tht of a slave.
Everyone wants a maid with no off days.How wld you feel if your employer does the same to you n you are left with no choice but to comply given the circumstances.
Maids are suppose to have minimal contact with their family for fear tht they may be easily influenced.Again how wld we feel if our In laws decide oooh your family influencing you too much pls cut back on communication.
N maids are to eat only certain specified food.Again how much can one posibbly eat?
Some want maids to say yes 'am,no 'am.Lets just reserve tht for the military shall we.
N maids get up waaay earlier to do chores n are expected to do them well.How many mummies get up at 5am to do chores even if they are stay home?
N i often think maids have their hands full.If mummy is not able to do housework,look after baby n cook,to expect the maid to do all tht when mummy is at work is double standard.
In many parts of the world,they are suppose to be "house helpers". They are human too..they need rest,to be treated like you wld a guest or an employee in your own office.
I have 3 kids .Never needed a maid well actually to be honest i wld love help with housework n all but i cant bring myself to get one.Dont want kids getting lazy.Or me getting lazy.Its easy to fall into tht trap.N all the abuse cases we read about.Its so easy to "lose it" esp when you have the upper hand n see the maid ..well as a "maid".
So why this thread when i have no maid?Well i have seen too many terrible employers n too many maids suffering.I have actually gotten to see the "maids point of view" many a times n its often so heart wrenching tht i wonder why tht even happened.
Mummies pls treat your maids as you wld an employee.No doubt you are responsible for her but to treat someone with so much animosity under the same roof?no patience when we are able to bear the worst of it fr in laws n other people? Why then this double standards?
No doubt there are bad hats.When i read articles about how the maid killed the kids under her charge or attacked her employer,i think she must have been pushed to the brink.
Mummies wht are your opinions?Those mummies with no maids...if its not financial reason holding you back then wht is?
This shld pose for some interesting discussion.:001_302:

I think most of the cases whereby the maids attack their charge or employers are mentally nt sound n nt the employers who push them to the brink.

However Jasobias if u hv a maid, i think u wouldn't be writing the above for discussion at least nt all. Majority who has a maid are those who need someone to look after their babies n children especially working irregular hours or need to work OT most of time. nannies n childcare/infant centres only till 7 pm, they are not able to fetch them in time. so it wouldn't be fair to say that we/they are lazy becos by the time, most of us would b exhausted n nt forgetting nt all hubbies will be able to 'help' us.
and while u mention that maids shld be treated like an employee ..i agree w u. However some of them do nt treat u like an employer, they will talk bk n challenge u .some of them do not respect u as an employer..how do u feel abt tat.

**I'm nt aware tat almost each mth a maid has passed away and I'm sad to learnt tat.

i guess each employer will 'strive' to b a good employer but it will oso depends on the maids' attitude.

 

[elmo493]

Why not participate, get involve before you give any comment.
How can you ensure that you have seen the full pic when you are always standing FAR FAR FAR.....away and SEE,SEE,LOOK,LOOK only. Try to put yourself in others shoe. Imagine we (employer) have to stay with a total stranger for 24hr 365days. We have to bear with our employer during working hours and put up with maid when we get home. In fear that they will ill-treat the kids/elderly when we are not at home. Who would wants a total stranger if there is a choice.:nah:

I have always been an observer.Always seeking to see full pic before i draw my conclusion.

 

[elmo493]

And what about the statistic of local workers who die due to stress from work?? Some employer allow maid take a nap in the afternoon when they are tired but do you think we can take a nap in the office? I got a schoolmate who got married this year, celebrate his son shower early this year but we went for the wake mid of this year.

Not many pple know this but my friend who runs a funeral home have to send home at least 1 maids body home a week.N thts just one funeral company.He said many died of suicide n others accidents at home..how sad is tht?

 

[jasobias]

Why not participate, get involve before you give any comment.
How can you ensure that you have seen the full pic when you are always standing FAR FAR FAR.....away and SEE,SEE,LOOK,LOOK only. Try to put yourself in others shoe. Imagine we (employer) have to stay with a total stranger for 24hr 365days. We have to bear with our employer during working hours and put up with maid when we get home. In fear that they will ill-treat the kids/elderly when we are not at home. Who would wants a total stranger if there is a choice.:nah:

Pls u make me sound like an imbecile.Like i mention earlier i know alot of maids who r abused on a daily basis n i am never too far away.I do not LOOK LOOK SEE SEE..i react..which is more than most pple wld do.I report maid abuse n likewise if i see the maid abusing her charges u can be sure i am gonna inform the employer too.
On a different note,U put up with 1 stranger in the house..the maid puts up with so many more of ur family members who r "strangers" to her too.Expecting a stranger to take great care of ur old/really young who wld be unable to speak out if abused..how gd an option is tht?Yet many choose too..out of desperation?no other options perhaps?
True tht maid might not be one of the choice to run a family but its a choice none the less.N why wld anyone ill treat someone out of no reason?unless like u said they r of unsound mine.Then again how many of these maids r of unsound mind?

 

[jasobias]

I think most of the cases whereby the maids attack their charge or employers are mentally not sound n not the employers who push them to the brink.

However Jasobias if you have a maid, i think you wouldn't be writing the above for discussion at least not all. Majority who has a maid are those who need someone to look after their babies n children especially working irregular hours or need to work OT most of time. nannies n childcare/infant centres only till 7 pm, they are not able to fetch them in time. so it wouldn't be fair to say that we/they are lazy becos by the time, most of us would b exhausted n not forgetting not all hubbies will be able to 'help' us.
and while you mention that maids shld be treated like an employee ..i agree w you. However some of them do not treat you like an employer, they will talk back n challenge you .some of them do not respect you as an employer..how do you feel about that.

**I'm not aware that almost each month a maid has passed away and I'm sad to learnt that.

i guess each employer will 'strive' to b a good employer but it will also depends on the maids' attitude.

Like they say it takes 2 hands to clap.Respect has to be earned n it has to mutual in order to breed harmony.Thts not too difficult to understand.
U too speak as if u r part of a group..may i quote "ouldn't be fair to say that we/they are lazy becos by the time, most of us would b exhausted n not forgetting not all hubbies will be able to 'help' us."
If u have basis in making a majority statement..so do i

 

[zazaziya@gmail.com]

wow..you are nice..takes someone with a big heart to welcome a stranger to the house n treat them the way you do..hope there are more pple like you !!!ancing_tongue:

I think I am just doing what is right, and in a way, following in my mum's footsteps as she has always treated her maids well. I have heard of people who count the number of biscuits they have left,so as to check whether the maid have eaten their biscuits. I find these people unbelievable. For someone having to do so many chores in the house, what is the problem of letting them having free reign over the food?

My first maid, despite her monthly wage of $330, would always buy yakult for my kids out of her own pocket to dote on them on her sundays off even tho i have told her not to...the maids who followed also doted on my kids with little gifts of food and sometimes even clothing..this is an example of the genorisity and goodheartedness maids can demonstrate despite their little income, surely we as employers earning so many times more should not be so calculative over things such as food?

Having said that, I am also wary of horror stories of dishonest ,cruel or insane maids..i guess it is good luck that i have had good maids so far and i hope my good luck don't end

 

[tika]

Having said that, I am also wary of horror stories of dishonest ,cruel or insane maids..i guess it is good luck that i have had good maids so far and i hope my good luck dont't end

it takes more than just good luck to get good maids all the time. plus, i'm sure your good maids have flaws just like all of us. but good on you if you let those flaws slide, because you know they are human afterall.

 

[chachaleo]

Like they say it takes 2 hands to clap.Respect has to be earned n it has to mutual in order to breed harmony.Thts not too difficult to understand.
you too speak as if you are part of a group..may i quote "ouldn't be fair to say that we/they are lazy becos by the time, most of us would b exhausted n not forgetting not all hubbies will be able to 'help' us."
If you have basis in making a majority statement..so do i

u r free to make a statement, i'm nt stopping u. i tot u r prepared for ppl to speak up for their side to highlight their situation so to speak. u seems to b very quick to judge ppl too when u said "u too speak as if u are part of a group"

 

[jasobias]

you are free to make a statement, i'm not stopping you. i thought you are prepared for ppl to speak up for their side to highlight their situation so to speak. you seems to b very quick to judge ppl too when you said "you too speak as if you are part of a group"

Well you did use"we".."we" as we all know refers to more than 1 person.

 

[Ting]

hmmm, i do agree that some employers do think their maids r supermaids.
i hv come across some tt r slinging one baby, carrying diaper bag, n tryin to chase the young toddler, while the parents r empty handed shopping arnd.
n some even request a no off day for maids, wake at 5 am (if wake at 530 am then complain she woke up late), n slp at 11 plus 12 am.
i think, its pure torture to the mind n body.
i mean, there r mean emlpoyers who think they hold a reign on their maids, cos they r paying them (a pathetic sum of money).

BUT, of cos i know of maids tt r dishonest.
my gf's dad owns a maid agency so she hv maids living in her hse. they always use her shampoo n soap finish they wont say anything, also use her sanitary pads n nvr inform her too. n also some other stuffs.she find out cos some of the maids will inform her.
of cos, it is not right for them to be dishonest at work. but, one thing we need to ponder, are we ourselves 101% honest?
at work, do we print our own stuffs using coy printer n ink, take some of the coy's stationary, use coy telephone to make personal calls, etc.
we do too right???? its human nature.



JUST TO SHARE. my mum, she was a SAHM who looked after me n my sisters til my younger sis reach sec sch, so she was a SAHM for almost 20 years.
she did all hsewrk by herself, with no help (not even from us), including, cooking 3meals a day, mopping n sweeping the floor everyday(i live in a 5 room flat last time), washing clothes (my mum used to handwash only after she worked then use washing machine).
after she came out to work (working hrs from morning 830am she leaves the hse, earliest 6 plus pm reach home, latest can be 9 plus pm then reach home) she stil does the hsewrk all by herself.
occasionally my dad will help her sweep/mop the floor.
so it is not impossible to do w/o a maid, SOME ppl, might be just lazy to do it (i admit, like me!) or perhaps hv been in a comfort zone for too long.(again, like me!)

 

[diymummy]

I've heard my fair share of good/bad maids and good/bad employers. And I know there're many bad maids/employers going unreported.

For me, my mum employed maids when I was younger. And we had sooo much trouble with them. It's sad that kindness does not beget kindness all the time. And I think to a certain extent, my mum also "gave up" on maids. We had maids who ran away saying that they wanted to go home coz they miss home just after 2 weeks of work... And had maids who called the police saying that we abused her where she inflicted the injury on herself... We even had a maid who got a man to come sleep with her IN OUR HOUSE and was found out by my mum... Gosh...

But so far among the people I know, I've seen more maids "abusing" their employers than the other way around.

 

[jasobias]

hmmm, i do agree that some employers do think their maids are supermaids.
i have come across some that are slinging one baby, carrying diaper bag, n tryin to chase the young toddler, while the parents are empty handed shopping arnd.
n some even request a no off day for maids, wake at 5 am (if wake at 530 am then complain she woke up late), n sleep at 11 plus 12 am.
i think, its pure torture to the mind n body.
i mean, there are mean emlpoyers who think they hold a reign on their maids, cos they are paying them (a pathetic sum of money).

BUT, of cos i know of maids that are dishonest.
my gf's dad owns a maid agency so she have maids living in her house. they always use her shampoo n soap finish they wont say anything, also use her sanitary pads n never inform her too. n also some other stuffs.she find out cos some of the maids will inform her.
of cos, it is not right for them to be dishonest at work. but, one thing we need to ponder, are we ourselves 101% honest?
at work, do we print our own stuffs using coy printer n ink, take some of the coy's stationary, use coy telephone to make personal calls, etc.
we do too right???? its human nature.



JUST TO SHARE. my mum, she was a stay at home mum who looked after me n my sisters til my younger sis reach sec sch, so she was a stay at home mum for almost 20 years.
she did all hsewrk by herself, with no help (not even from us), including, cooking 3meals a day, mopping n sweeping the floor everyday(i live in a 5 room flat last time), washing clothes (my mum used to handwash only after she worked then use washing machine).
after she came out to work (working hours from morning 830am she leaves the house, earliest 6 plus pm reach home, latest can be 9 plus pm then reach home) she stil does the hsewrk all by herself.
occasionally my dad will help her sweep/mop the floor.
so it is not impossible to do w/o a maid, SOME ppl, might be just lazy to do it (i admit, like me!) or perhaps have been in a comfort zone for too long.(again, like me!)

hahha..well said Ting!I think our mums were mostly supermums!!No help n still managed to raise us n th ttime not say got 1 kid or 2..my mum has 5 of us n wld work at home till late at nite as seamstress!Had to do everything !!But not bad tht they somehow managed to n very efficiently as well!

 

[isabelandrew]

it's a chicken and egg thingy. im 1st timer. i hv never thought abt leting a stranger come into my house (some more brand new).

some pple have bad experiences with the maid while some don't. their culture is really different from ours.

you hv to experience to understand why some people like myself are commenting about bad experience and why some are praising their maids.