so hurting

[PinkDiamonds]

How come mother-in-laws always get on our nerves?

Yesterday I left my girl at my parents' place and when I went to pick her up, the moment I open the door she cry already. N when she saw me she keep making those excited movements. Is it because she don't like me?

NO! She wants her mummy!

My girl also don't cry when she sees daddy. She will either stare at him or smile at him. even when my hubby is carrying her, she will keep staring at me if I am in sight.

Maybe ur MIL got empty nest syndrome so treat your child as her own child like that so possessive.

 

[smurf]

thanks for all the support.

actually my MIL is very susipicous and insecure person. she also dun like to hear things like bb looks like me. my bb has my hubby's eyes - so my parents in law everytime happily kept talking about their eyes ... :nah:

 

[apollo]

thanks for all the support.

actually my mother in law is very susipicous and insecure person. she also dont like to hear things like baby looks like me. my baby has my hubby's eyes - so my parents in law everytime happily kept talking about their eyes ... :nah:

my inlaws are totally oppo. ds inherit my big eyes and double eyelids so grand mil keep say lucky his eyes inherit me, if inherit hubby not nice.. haha

 

[sean-tan]

is ur mil sick????
y is she doin such thing to hurt u n ur child. i believed ur child will be feelin sad too. be strong n tk her bk frm ur mil e nxt time. tel her u noe wat ur child wan. jia you jia you...

 

[meiteoh]

The conflict DILs face with MILs is mostly because of a power struggle. MILs have issues with another woman in their son's life and like to prove that they are still needed/wanted; and often their actions conflict with their DILs. If you get an insane MIL, then no matter what you do, she'll continue to drive you nutty.

 

[Jo'an]

My MIL ssprayed Baygon into my baby's milkbag, snatch my baby away from my arms and don't let me feed my baby when she's hungry!!

 

[isabelandrew]

My mother in law ssprayed Baygon into my baby's milkbag, snatch my baby away from my arms and dont't let me feed my baby when she's hungry!!

OMG! Baygon? How poisonous it is! How come snatch away?

 

[-jOanna]

Bring your baby back to your own mother place for the time being or to ur aunties to take care of it when u are working (if u have nice/close ones), and let ur MIL think abt what they have done! Terrible.. My mum welcome me home always if my hubby bullies me (she said so haha)

 

[tika]

where she stay? i go beat her up.

 

[isabelandrew]

where she stay? i go beat her up.

Baygon leh! to an infant - only a BABY!

 

[tika]

Baygon ! to an infant - only a BABY!

errr... i think she sprayed the milkbag...not the baby. if she sprayed the baby then im sure we'll either read her story on stomp or the newpaper. or better still, straits times front page news.

 

[SunShine07]

wow...very 'ke buo' leh!!!! @#$#%@

 

[-jOanna]

Why spray baygon in the milkbag ? I dont understand ... Does she really love the baby or just wanna torture it ? That's why baby cry when see mummy finally come home and can save her !! Feel so sad for baby..

 

[LynetteLoh]

i think you all should like ban your MILs from your babies man....

carry back your baby ask your mum to take care. should also ask hubby to control their own mothers. if mother in law kick a big fuss, let them. they should know who is boss. if no one control them then they will control you.

jia you mummies! keep the fussies away from baby.. dont't let mother in law pass on their insecurities to them! sometimes insecure people will pass comments like "you must love your grandma... your mummy dont't love you so much"... so must be careful. they dont't understand the impact and consequences of their actions.

at the end of the day, it's YOUR baby!!!!

 

[Ting]

yah i agree!!
sometimes my mum will say to pin, your mummy dun care abt u right? always go gaigai.
then i will tell my mum why u say this kinda thing to her, she understands n will feel sad.
then i will go to pin n say no mummy loves pin pin alot!!
then she will hug me.
haha sometimes pin will shoot back my mum n say NO~~~~~ mummy loves kaipin! kaipin is mummy's baobei.
wahahahah~!

 

[wenz]

if my mil is like tat i will snatch my bb away n move out immediately..
i will not return if this issue is not resolved by my hubby with his mother...

 

[MomoMummy]

agree 100% to let them know that WE R THE MUMMY! confinement time she dun realli let me carry. onli let me carry when after bathe which she already want to sleep liao. the rest of the day, she feed she bathe.. baby cry at night.. no words just take her away.

i dunno my ger at all. she look at me but i felt like crying cause i dunno how to use my action to love her. she wanted to bring baby back to msia but i insist i take care.

wen i go back work n she take care, if above thing were to happen. i will immediately ask my hubby to speak to her.i take baby away and lock my door. i dun care whether she going to complain to whuever she sees.. or she knock on my door ask my open. i will shout at her and say i take care first. if i reali pek chek infront of my hubby i will v seriously talk to her.

if things were to go out of hand, den no choice.. i bring baby to infant care or nanny already.

for me i ask hubby if i can quit my job to look after her. he say ok. return workforce probably when she is older to b in childcare.

probably try asking hubby if can stop work for a while...

 

[shulyn]

ya. thanks for your support.

that day i felt really HURT. i went into the room and wanted to cry already. my hubby was there. he tried to say - baby wants mummy. but my mother in law just ignored him.

maybe that time, baby is taking cereal. she scare my baby refuse to eat.

but im her mother. i noticed she is really 'sticky' to me during the weekends (weekends i take care myself). plus at night, my baby dont like my hubby to craddle. but she calms down if I carry.

my poor baby.

actually how come daughter in law rarely can agree w mother in law?

i can understand me and my mum dont agree sometimes. but she never reject my baby from me.

sob sob

Hi Smurf,

A few times i had the same scenario with you, my mother in law seldom see my boy so when i bring him back (twice a week) she is so excited esp its first grandson. When my baby cry, i step forward to carry him, my mother in law would just ignore me and keep trying and continue to carry him. When i told hubby about it, hubby would say she wanted to try and the reason why she is like this cos she seldom see the grandson. To me, we have to bring back the grandson twice a week is kind of much cos i also have other commitment too. I'm so pissed off and we almost quarrel so many times over other issues too. I do understand we should give chance for the grandparents to carry but the fact is my boy is crying so fiercely, how can a mother just ignore everything? Even my own parents wont do this to me, whenever i want to carry the baby, my parents would just return back to me. My mother in law give me that kind of action like going to snatch my child away from me.

Another scenario, one day when i go back for dinner, sister In law finish her dinner, hubby talking to brother-in-law, mother in law in the living room carrying my boy. When i finish dinner, went to rinsh my mouth, when i come to the living room, nobody is there. My mother in law and sister In law bring my boy dont know go where...after that i guess they should be upstair (in my mother in law room), Cant imagine my loneliness and emptiness. When i told hubby, again he dont understand that kind of feeling. Now i must act smart, show my displease AND INSIST!

 

[snowbear]

Hi Smurf,

A few times i had the same scenario with you, my mother in law seldom see my boy so when i bring him back (twice a week) she is so excited esp its first grandson. When my baby cry, i step forward to carry him, my mother in law would just ignore me and keep trying and continue to carry him. When i told hubby about it, hubby would say she wanted to try and the reason why she is like this cos she seldom see the grandson. To me, we have to bring back the grandson twice a week is kind of much cos i also have other commitment too. I'm so pissed off and we almost quarrel so many times over other issues too. I do understand we should give chance for the grandparents to carry but the fact is my boy is crying so fiercely, how can a mother just ignore everything? Even my own parents wont do this to me, whenever i want to carry the baby, my parents would just return back to me. My mother in law give me that kind of action like going to snatch my child away from me.

Another scenario, one day when i go back for dinner, sister In law finish her dinner, hubby talking to brother-in-law, mother in law in the living room carrying my boy. When i finish dinner, went to rinsh my mouth, when i come to the living room, nobody is there. My mother in law and sister In law bring my boy dont know go where...after that i guess they should be upstair (in my mother in law room), Cant imagine my loneliness and emptiness. When i told hubby, again he dont understand that kind of feeling. Now i must act smart, show my displease AND INSIST!

I've come to realise that sometimes we need to stand firm on our own ground and do what we think is right and best for our child. Most of the time my hubby will side me but there were a couple of times that he told me later in private that he felt i was rather rude to his mum. I told him that if he had any idea of how it is like for me whenever his mum comes over (she comes over at least twice a wk and hubby's still working), he'd know that i've tried my best to be civil with her already! She's always insinuating that i'm not doing something right and ransacking thru my things and repacking them without permission and sometimes when my hubby tells her not to do certain things like keep the laundry while baby's asleep (coz she always drops the aluminum pole and makes a super loud bang and that of coz wakes my baby), she'd still insist on doing it secretly until she gets stopped by either of us or when she drops the pole on the floor. Gosh, I just dont know why mils are so annoying!

 

[shulyn]

I've come to realise that sometimes we need to stand firm on our own ground and do what we think is right and best for our child. Most of the time my hubby will side me but there were a couple of times that he told me later in private that he felt i was rather rude to his mum. I told him that if he had any idea of how it is like for me whenever his mum comes over (she comes over at least twice a wk and hubby's still working), he'd know that i've tried my best to be civil with her already! She's always insinuating that i'm not doing something right and ransacking thru my things and repacking them without permission and sometimes when my hubby tells her not to do certain things like keep the laundry while baby's asleep (coz she always drops the aluminum pole and makes a super loud bang and that of coz wakes my baby), she'd still insist on doing it secretly until she gets stopped by either of us or when she drops the pole on the floor. Gosh, I just dont know why mils are so annoying!

Yap snowbear,

Truly agree...This is the only way we can vent our frustration here. I been tolerating for so long until 8 mths later, i just burst myself out, got angry and bring my boy back home with me. My hubby is so angry, saying my action is so childish, no matter wat happen i should have respect him and talk abt it after we leave mil place...

I know wat i did is really not right, but can imagine, my boy is 8 mths = to 8 mths of tolerance. So many mths of inbalance caused me to burst out...so much action has cause me to feel so inbalance towards his family! But i love my hubby alot and i wont want him to feel sad so will just try to ignore...But if there is anything in law do to make me upset, i will just tell her off nicely too...This is wat hubby taught me rather than approaching him...