Why can't you accept that she and i are JUST FRIENDS?

[SH74]

liangjia > mayb u still hv love for him la. jus that it's not like last time alr lor. moreover married many yrs alr (rite?) n now got son. u'll sure divert more love to him instead of hb. mayb ask urself, if 1 nite, u receive a call fr police / hospital that ur hb *touchwood* met w serious accident, u'll worry, heartpain,...?

take ur time to think wat u want. meanwhile, let this matter cool off 1st, in case he knows abt it also. mayb he's waiting for u to mention abt it, so he can scold u or wat.

cancanmum > ya... some guys got ego. would rather tell 3rd party than wife. but funny lor. nothing to b proud abt, still tell 3rd party. tell own wife better mah. more trustworthy also. esp if it's abt $$.

anyway, 1 type of rice feed many diff types of ppl.

 

[SunShine07]

Dear All,

You know what happen on friday nite??? My HB told me the truth. He said that they were really having something..............

I was being cheated by the both of them! This married woman make up stories telling me that they were always in a group of friends. She can even tell me this group of firend's names.....I tot what she said was true....

I feel so hurt.....especially when i tot of them on bed..........i really feel like cutting myself....they are so cruel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[CanCanMum]

liang jia,

do not feel upset. (or at least too upset) u have done nothing wrong, except to put yr trust into someone unworthy. no point making yrself miserable with that. We must look forward.

Put yr focus back to your hb. But since what is done cannot be undone, so has yr hubby said anything or done anything to repent for his mistake? Or did he say whether he will stop the affair/apologize and come back to u? If he does, then it all depends on whether u are able to forgive him for what he has done.

Theres a thread in this forum that reads "what to do if u found out that yr spouse is unfaithful" . U may want to take a look...

take care.

 

[CanCanMum]

Feel sorry for liang jia, yes, and the truth hurts. Whatever that happened, hope u will be strong and make the right decision that u think will be the best for u and yr dear son.

I do have something to add to my friends trouble. Yeah u can call that episode 2.

1) She has tried to ignore some smses that still comes in, although her hb says will keep a distance. But last weekend he is still smsing. Worst still, coz the hp is on silent mode, he carries it with him everywhere he goes around the house. So the more she keeps quiet the more he will sms. So my gf confronts him and that makes him furious...(throw things, vent his anger)

2) He wans other activities, to live his own life, becoz he says he is living life "without a principle". And he wants to find himself back. My gf has allowed him to go out after work but after that she feels miserable and calls me and cries on the phone etc...sigh...

3) This morning my gf says she cannot take it anymore, becoz there is no ending, conclusion. So she asks me if she should go look for that girl. But her hb did tell her if she dare to, he will divorce her.

What do u all think? If he really divorce her how???? Should she go look for that girl to talk to her? :embarrassed:

 

[SH74]

liangjia> sigh... try to look on the bright side k? at least now u know the truth. no more guessing. no need to suspect.

now all u hv to do is to think wat u want to do. try to save the marriage? or divorce?

take care ya! b strong, for the sake of ur son.

cancanmum > i alw feel that if hb starts to want more privacy n more personal space, something is wrong. unfaithfulness might not happen yet. if haven happen, easier to handle. just need to hv a good talk w hb. but if hb dun want to talk, high chance unfaithfulness happen alr.

fr the way ur friend's hb reacts, i think he really got something fishy under his sleeves. i think the hb wants to have both (ur friend n that gal), wants to have as little problems as possible. but most probably heart is w that gal alr.

if i'm ur that friend, i'll try to catch them redhanded.

 

[CanCanMum]

u think so too? So she shouldnt talk to that girl issit? but from what i know him for so long i think think so many times also cannot understand why he will put his heart in other woman, coz he dont look like that kind. Or people will change? Wah they know each other since primary six....why like that? But she said before her hb said even if they divorce he will also not fall for that girl leh...what exactly is wrong with him???

 

[SH74]

u think so too? So she shouldnt talk to that girl issit? but from what i know him for so long i think think so many times also cannot understand why he will put his heart in other woman, coz he dont look like that kind. Or people will change? Wah they know each other since primary six....why like that? But she said before her hb said even if they divorce he will also not fall for that girl leh...what exactly is wrong with him???

world change. people change. everything change. moreover, now so many temptations. n some gals find married men more attractive. so wat if they know each other for vvv long alr. guys dun care abt all that. there's a saying, 'gals think w their heart, guys think w their d**k'.

if me, i wont make any harsh moves unless i catch them red handed. i hv an ex bf last time who is something like ur friend's hb. say won't fall for that gal, not her type,...

i caught him w that gal yet he still deny, cook up some story. nvm, i give him the benefit of doubt. i hv to catch him a few times w same gal then he admit.

 

[autumn82]

world change. people change. everything change. moreover, now so many temptations. n some gals find married men more attractive. so wat if they know each other for vvv long alr. guys dun care abt all that. there's a saying, 'gals think w their heart, guys think w their d**k'.

if me, i wont make any harsh moves unless i catch them red handed. i hv an ex bf last time who is something like ur friend's hb. say won't fall for that gal, not her type,...

i caught him w that gal yet he still deny, cook up some story. nvm, i give him the benefit of doubt. i hv to catch him a few times w same gal then he admit.

Zuo nu ren hen lei hor? Keep on catching & catching.. Suspect this & that.. Once in awhile, spotcheck.. *shakes head*

But if we don't do that, something happens how? Zuo nu ren bu rong yi..

 

[autumn82]

Dear All,

You know what happen on friday nite??? My HB told me the truth. He said that they were really having something..............

I was being cheated by the both of them! This married woman make up stories telling me that they were always in a group of friends. She can even tell me this group of firend's names.....I tot what she said was true....

I feel so hurt.....especially when i tot of them on bed..........i really feel like cutting myself....they are so cruel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Liang jia.. Dun get upset.. Although I know it's difficult. Pull urself up!! So after he tell u abt it, wat does he wants to do? Haiz.

 

[SH74]

Zuo nu ren hen lei hor? Keep on catching & catching.. Suspect this & that.. Once in awhile, spotcheck.. *shakes head*

But if we don't do that, something happens how? Zuo nu ren bu rong yi..

ya lor. then spotcheck must do discreetly. if not, hb will b angry, say we dun trust them. i feel that spotcheck is v impt. n must alw b v observant and alert abt our hb. if find something weird abt his behavior or feelings, then must find out b4 it's too late.

if any guys read this, they'll prob feel that we actu no need worry so much. they wont understand. they wont hv so much prob as us 'cause we gals once married, esp got kids alr, sure will put family n hb 1st priority. v faithful 1. unlike guys.

moreover, married women's stock market tend to dip but married men's stock market will rise. unfair. hahaha... :tlaugh:

 

[autumn82]

ya lor. then spotcheck must do discreetly. if not, hb will b angry, say we dun trust them. i feel that spotcheck is v impt. n must alw b v observant and alert abt our hb. if find something weird abt his behavior or feelings, then must find out b4 it's too late.

if any guys read this, they'll prob feel that we actu no need worry so much. they wont understand. they wont hv so much prob as us 'cause we gals once married, esp got kids alr, sure will put family n hb 1st priority. v faithful 1. unlike guys.

moreover, married women's stock market tend to dip but married men's stock market will rise. unfair. hahaha... :tlaugh:

Haha. Ya. Very unfair hor? Haiz. Walk left or right, so difficult decision. *shakes head*

 

[CanCanMum]

oh dear, i hardly check on my hubby leh, am i an alien?

 

[SunShine07]

Liang jia.. Dun get upset.. Although I know it's difficult. Pull urself up!! So after he tell u abt it, wat does he wants to do? Haiz.

He said that he is very sorry for what he did. He confessed because that woman control him and he felt that she is very cunning. She is the one who cook up stories, ask my hb to take charge financially, tell him how to lie to me!

I tell you all, she is a married woman, with 2 kids. I really pity her kids got such a slut mother! Nowasdays married woman look for married man because no commitment, they just want a fling....i really got the urge to go to her office and slap her!

Of cos i feel so disppointed with my hb.....now he is feeling depressed. But i dun know, if we will get better.....it hurts me when i thought of how happy and enjoy when they are together....

He ask what can he do to amend....i also dun know, i am also lost.....hate to go through this the second time again.........i also don know if i forgive him too easily already....sigh

 

[SunShine07]

Feel sorry for liang jia, yes, and the truth hurts. Whatever that happened, hope u will be strong and make the right decision that u think will be the best for u and yr dear son.

I do have something to add to my friends trouble. Yeah u can call that episode 2.

1) She has tried to ignore some smses that still comes in, although her hb says will keep a distance. But last weekend he is still smsing. Worst still, coz the hp is on silent mode, he carries it with him everywhere he goes around the house. So the more she keeps quiet the more he will sms. So my gf confronts him and that makes him furious...(throw things, vent his anger)

2) He wans other activities, to live his own life, becoz he says he is living life "without a principle". And he wants to find himself back. My gf has allowed him to go out after work but after that she feels miserable and calls me and cries on the phone etc...sigh...

3) This morning my gf says she cannot take it anymore, becoz there is no ending, conclusion. So she asks me if she should go look for that girl. But her hb did tell her if she dare to, he will divorce her.

What do u all think? If he really divorce her how???? Should she go look for that girl to talk to her? :embarrassed:

hi, from my point of view, i can be quite sure that ur friend hb is having affair. People change, woman are becoming more daring now to tackel on married man. You know this is what my hb do. His phone is always with him even in toilet and switch to slient mode, everytime call him never answer.

I am not the only one who had experience this b4. my sister, went tru this as well, it is exactly the same senerio. And this afternoon, when i told my close colleagues about myself, she told me that she is also experiencing this at the moment.....

Man are very weak, cant resist tempation nowsdays, woman are getting very daring and no respect for themselves!

Maybe, you can advise your friend to expect the worst thing to happen. Not trying to scare her, but based on what she is going tru, i think it is not that simple.

 

[WeeFee's_Mummy]

Feel sorry for liang jia, yes, and the truth hurts. Whatever that happened, hope u will be strong and make the right decision that u think will be the best for u and yr dear son.

I do have something to add to my friends trouble. Yeah u can call that episode 2.

1) She has tried to ignore some smses that still comes in, although her hb says will keep a distance. But last weekend he is still smsing. Worst still, coz the hp is on silent mode, he carries it with him everywhere he goes around the house. So the more she keeps quiet the more he will sms. So my gf confronts him and that makes him furious...(throw things, vent his anger)

2) He wans other activities, to live his own life, becoz he says he is living life "without a principle". And he wants to find himself back. My gf has allowed him to go out after work but after that she feels miserable and calls me and cries on the phone etc...sigh...

3) This morning my gf says she cannot take it anymore, becoz there is no ending, conclusion. So she asks me if she should go look for that girl. But her hb did tell her if she dare to, he will divorce her.

What do u all think? If he really divorce her how???? Should she go look for that girl to talk to her? :embarrassed:

cancanmum & liang`jia ... goodness i don't know wot to say. i guess nothing i say can make a difference. men will be men, & men will be @ssholes.

i guess wot is left now is just for us women to retreat ourselves, & look within - truly, wot is it that we want & wot do we need?

for liang`jia, it's not her first time. second time if i read correctly? & hubby has also abused her before. so where will you draw the line?

cancanmum ... your gf's hubby sounds like he's going through midlife crisis. tell him to grow up!! there are more important things in life other than his poor, miserable, pathetic feelings. wot abt their two children? they still have their lives ahead of them!! wot is he going to do abt that??

i guess it's truly ridiculous the level at which adults can think & behave like children. they think the world still owes them a living. someone please tell these MEN that the earth stopped revolving around them the second their stupid sperm fertilised our eggs!!!

 

[CanCanMum]

weefee's mum - i dont know what she has decided to do, coz she said will talk to me tomolo...jialat, dun think she has the mood to work. Scared she might suffer from insomnia...

liangjia - seems like u do want to save this marriage. See if he is really sincerely sorry for what he has done. Think he needs to do alot of things to make u trust him all over again.

I begin to wonder what actually makes a married man turn to infidelity? Is it just temptation alone? What is true love???

Very sad. Remembering all the vows that we took during marriage, and now, the promise does not stand the test of time. Really very very sad to know that...:wecry:

 

[SH74]

cancanmum > mayb u hv complete trust in ur hb alr or ur hb shares everything w u. for me, once a while, i'll still check. esp if i suspect something is wrong w hb, e.g. if hb quite quiet lately. then i'll check by asking him.

but now check lesser 'cause he shares more w me alr. last time i hv to check more. now sometimes got many sms, he'll tell me who he sms, wat it is abt,... if got any events (aft office hours), he'll share w me the details or bring me along if possible.

liangjia > at least he feels bad. mayb ask him wat he plans to do. cannot hv the best of both worlds. he wants u n son or he wants that gal? if he chooses family, then ask him stop all contacts w that gal.

this is the 2nd time ur hb did such things ah? 1st time also something like that? once bitten twice shy hor? let him know how u feel if he chooses family instead of gal. he'll hv to work harder to earn back ur trust n forgiveness.

take things 1 step at a time. if he really regrets n cares for u n son, he'll def try his best to earn back ur trust. i'm sure u wont hv any prob forgiving him then.

haiz.... married women also want to tackle married men. wat is happening to this world? so complicated. damn jialat. pity her kids also. dunno if her hb knows or not.

 

[CanCanMum]

aiyah, also cannot trust 100%, but i guess i am too lazy to check on this and that, just dont wanna make myself "yi shen yi gui", very miserable one leh. Might as well concentrate on other things.

wah yr hb also very sweet leh, will share everything with u...

 

[SH74]

hi, from my point of view, i can be quite sure that ur friend hb is having affair. People change, woman are becoming more daring now to tackel on married man. You know this is what my hb do. His phone is always with him even in toilet and switch to slient mode, everytime call him never answer.

I am not the only one who had experience this b4. my sister, went tru this as well, it is exactly the same senerio. And this afternoon, when i told my close colleagues about myself, she told me that she is also experiencing this at the moment.....

Man are very weak, cant resist tempation nowsdays, woman are getting very daring and no respect for themselves!

Maybe, you can advise your friend to expect the worst thing to happen. Not trying to scare her, but based on what she is going tru, i think it is not that simple.

i alw feel that if hb is alw v protective over his phone, something is v wrong n fishy.

how come so many ppl experiencing such things now? so scary. so wat did ur sis n ur coll do?

i think ppl nowadays r getting too modern n open-minded, unlike our parents' generation. dunno if reach our kids' generation, will get even worse or not.

 

[WeeFee's_Mummy]

I begin to wonder what actually makes a married man turn to infidelity? Is it just temptation alone? What is true love???

Very sad. Remembering all the vows that we took during marriage, and now, the promise does not stand the test of time. Really very very sad to know that...:wecry:

so many reasons. sad part is ... none of them is an excuse.

i strongly believe that marriage, as a constitution, deserve our best efforts. but it's sooooooooooooooooooooo incredibly difficult when it seems like YOU'RE the only one trying. how do you make applause when there's only one hand clapping?

my heart really goes out to liang`jia. i hope she stays strong for herself & her DS.

like somebody said - once bitten, twice shy. if you forgive him once, it's his fault. but forgive him twice, & it's your fault.

sigh ... how like that? it's so hard being a woman.