Why can't you accept that she and i are JUST FRIENDS?

[CanCanMum]

Hey Pretty~ Gal sleeping in a room w all guys is ok mah! Just sleeping not having sex mah! Brother brother! Wahaha

for ur info i oso went to chalet before with 3 guys in a room...geeee..in the end i din sleep for the whole night becoz just scared...must protect urself mah... got news some girls go chalet and then pregnant oso donno who is the father wat, rite???

eh, guys sometimes cannot control themselves hor...:shyxxx:Unless u r super tomboy lor then they will brother brother...

 

[CanCanMum]

eh, me is 80s baby ley.... but i not self-centred, rebellious, open-minded to go take ppl DH de wor... in fact, i scare 90s will come and want to stick on my DH loh.... LOL.

jialat!! i should have put 70s baby, now every1 noes my age...:err:

 

[SH74]

Ya, I guess so. Wouldn't it be so weird if ppl go ard posting I'm so happy with my marriage~ My DH is a darling~~ Haha.

actu if marriage happy, shld say mah. being asians, good things we shy to say. even daily life, how many times do we say the 3 magical words to our hb? or praise our hb?

U could be wrong le~ 90s will come stick on 70s guy coz of his $$$ & maturity leh!! Like me, lack of fatherly love~ Wahaha.

like that jialat alr lor. me 70s bb hv to worry abt 70s, 80s and 90s gals.

u 80s bb meanwhile only need to worry abt 80s and 90s gals.

Hey Pretty~ Gal sleeping in a room w all guys is ok mah! Just sleeping not having sex mah! Brother brother! Wahaha

see!!! that's the diff betw 70s n 80s thinking.

 

[SH74]

for ur info i oso went to chalet before with 3 guys in a room...geeee..in the end i din sleep for the whole night becoz just scared...must protect urself mah... got news some girls go chalet and then pregnant oso donno who is the father wat, rite???

eh, guys sometimes cannot control themselves hor...:shyxxx:Unless u r super tomboy lor then they will brother brother...

ya lor!!! i share the same sentiments w u. 70s bb more traditional. hahaha...

jialat!! i should have put 70s baby, now every1 noes my age...:err:
hahha...:tlaugh: too late alr.

 

[autumn82]

ur gf's hb say all these only now? or all the while he has been complaining abt it alr

apparently he din complain, coz all these while he is the quiet one. He will give in to anything she wants him to do, even like switching jobs so that he can spend more time with family/safer etc (prevs one needs to be on shift, something like those 特种部队, needs to be armed etc). She said that even if she asked him if something is alright he will say ok ok...But then now he said she has failed to be a good wife and that she did not notice the unhappiness on his face. He said "some things no need to be too direct and she is supposed to sense it".

of cos, he could b pushing blame on ur gf.

i think so too becoz actualli they are planning for migrating in the next few years, everything was going on quite well between them and all of a sudden he just blames her for everything...after she found out abt the sms thing...

ur gf's case is really similar to mine (w my ex bf). that time my ex bf also didnt directly say want break up. only indirectly suggesting a breakup. i suggested to change,... but he say no use,... it's only when i ask 'so u want to break up is it?' he just kept quiet. say sorry then left.

why are they like that?? Dun wan then say dun wan lah, waste pple's time. Especially if u had put all your life and heart and soul to love some1 then at the end this is what u get!
if u ask me, i'll say let the hb go. if hb is meant to b ur gf's, he'll realise, regret, n come back to her. if he really does that, he'll b a better hb. ur gf's family knows abt it? if they r supportive, then just let the hb go. really no pt keep hb physically but heart not there alr. everyday sleep together, kids see also not healthy.

she said becoz she dun have an answer now, and the hb doesnt want to admit whether he has really had a transfer of his affections or wanna salvage the marriage, she cannot really do anything now. Her family members are supportive so its still alright for her just that she is forever stuck wo an answer.

since ur gf still wants a complete family, n since her hb ask her think abt it herself, ask her tell her hb to leave that gal, n she'll change so as to give the kids a complete happy family. c wat he says. if he like not willing, that means his heart n soul w that gal alr. then really no pt keeping him alr.

but the hb did say a broken mirror is broken, cannot save it anymore, and she also apologize and say we start all over again but then he just smiled. (U know, like a cold smile in chinese) Does it mean putting it to an end? I dunno how to advise her becoz really scared to see anything bad happen...
what i can gather from all that she said was he is all the while unhappy in the marriage, but just tolerating...and that he is very unhappy in the job becoz its something he hates and dislikes to do, but he has to give up for the sake of the family becoz its too dangerous...but does that warrant a breakup??? Will we give up something we like to do to make a loved one happy??

I feel that ur gf's DH is just pushing all the blame on ur gf to make things easier for him. IF he said ur gf failed her duty as a wife, then he himself also wat! Jus becoz he THINKS that his wife dun understand him does not mean he can go ahead and find another gal who he think does right!?

Plain rubbish reasons he's giving. Wat mirror broken can't be mended, feeling very unhappy gotta do things that he dislike, she doesn't understand him. RUBBISH. He's not a baby, don't tell me he can't speak up if he REALLY REALLY DISLIKE it SO much after SO many years? Conclusion, I feel it's just coz he has fallen for someone else but no balls to admit.

 

[autumn82]

for ur info i oso went to chalet before with 3 guys in a room...geeee..in the end i din sleep for the whole night becoz just scared...must protect urself mah... got news some girls go chalet and then pregnant oso donno who is the father wat, rite???

eh, guys sometimes cannot control themselves hor...:shyxxx:Unless u r super tomboy lor then they will brother brother...

Erm.. of coz u have to know the persons well enuff to be sleeping wif them in a room mah.. Duhz. Not any stranger leh, pls.!

 

[CanCanMum]

I feel that ur gf's DH is just pushing all the blame on ur gf to make things easier for him. IF he said ur gf failed her duty as a wife, then he himself also wat! Jus becoz he THINKS that his wife dun understand him does not mean he can go ahead and find another gal who he think does right!?

Plain rubbish reasons he's giving. Wat mirror broken can't be mended, feeling very unhappy gotta do things that he dislike, she doesn't understand him. RUBBISH. He's not a baby, don't tell me he can't speak up if he REALLY REALLY DISLIKE it SO much after SO many years? Conclusion, I feel it's just coz he has fallen for someone else but no balls to admit.

then he still denies??? haiyah...really thinks the kids are the ones suffering from all these nonsense...

 

[autumn82]

actu if marriage happy, shld say mah. being asians, good things we shy to say. even daily life, how many times do we say the 3 magical words to our hb? or praise our hb?

U could be wrong le~ 90s will come stick on 70s guy coz of his $$$ & maturity leh!! Like me, lack of fatherly love~ Wahaha.

like that jialat alr lor. me 70s bb hv to worry abt 70s, 80s and 90s gals.

u 80s bb meanwhile only need to worry abt 80s and 90s gals.

Hey Pretty~ Gal sleeping in a room w all guys is ok mah! Just sleeping not having sex mah! Brother brother! Wahaha

see!!! that's the diff betw 70s n 80s thinking.

Asians are too humble. That's y sometimes, lose out to angmohs. But being outspoken doesn't necessarily means its good. Too much of anything also no good.

I got~~ I always say I lobe u after he applies moisteriser for me daily. and I'll praise him like "Dear, wahsei! U look so slim with this outfit!" Wahaha

Actually, depends on ur DH's "appetite" whether he likes xiao meimei or jie jie. Haha.

 

[CanCanMum]

anywayz i just sidetrack abit hor, most of us are 70s baby, why do 80s baby wanna settle down so early and have kids? Dont u wan to enjoy more of couple life 1st? Example if u r born in 1983 u will be a 25 year old mum, very young leh...?

 

[autumn82]

Jialatz.. going to rain again... I go feed my DS 1st, then go fetch DD.. chat later~

 

[CanCanMum]

see u! take umbrella.

 

[autumn82]

anywayz i just sidetrack abit hor, most of us are 70s baby, why do 80s baby wanna settle down so early and have kids? Dont u wan to enjoy more of couple life 1st? Example if u r born in 1983 u will be a 25 year old mum, very young leh...?

For me, coz I dun wait until 30yrs old then married, 32 then give birth, will be too old! Like, I'm 20yrs old, my mum will be like 50-60yrs old? Still need to work to support to Uni.?! Will faintz! Wanna retire early man! Efficient alittle, chop chop married, have kids, then when they grow up, at least u have the strength to enjoy life still!! Haha. Of coz, saying all this, u must be sure & not regret that u chose this person as ur DH loh.

 

[CanCanMum]

nowadays many pple dun think like u. I have other 70s gf still single and dun wanna get married becoz work comes 1st, no time to look for boyfriend...or just reject reject then left with no choice...

 

[SH74]

cancanmum > sigh.... like that v unfair to ur gf. he so quiet, definitely ur gf will leave him alone also lor. think they should hv a good talk. i think the problem w them is communication breakdown. hb quiet, keep everything to himself, happy or sad, just give in, expect wife to read his mind. ur gf thought everything ok 'cause hb quiet, so just live life as normal, let hb do watever he wants, dun ask much,... now hb stray, blame wife. sigh.......

guys r like that, expect us to know wat they r thinking w/o having them to say out. i thot only gals r like that. now guys also like that. i quarrel w my hb a few times 'cause he last time also alw like that. v frustrating 1 lor. that's y now he v open towards me. happy or sad things, impt or bo liao things, he also tell me. of cos, i must do my part also. 'cause 1 reason y he didnt want to share w me is 'cause my tone of voice. n sometimes tend to b too concerned (will nag). so i change the way i ask things. hv to ask nicely, cannot sound invasive n controlling, most impt is cannot nag aft knowing. can only say nice supportive things. so now everything well.

really think ur gf shld hv a good talk w her hb. really reminds me of my ex bf. such sudden 'bombs' r vvv painful n heartbreaking.

some guys feel bad to initiate breakup / divorce. sometimes they r sad, cannot tahan anymore, but if ask them to still stay on n try, they also dun wan. ask them initiate breakup/divorce, they also feel bad, guilty,... so in the end, they wait for the gals to initiate lor.

i dun think ur gf can hv any ans so fast. think it'll remain unsettled for quite a while unless both parties willing to sit down n talk. if the hb cont to keep quiet, ur gf sure headache 1 lor. dunno wat to do. if still want save, hv to talk to hb. 'cause it takes 2 hands to clap. marriage can only work out if both willing to work things out.

ur gf's hb might b finding ez way out. w that gal, he dun hv so much headache. no strings attached. easier to talk to. being lover n being wife is totally diff. lovers just for companion n enjoyment (fantasies). wife is abt problems, family, kids, $$$,... (reality). n some lovers will b affected if their guy is upset or stressed. but they wont sacrifice A LOT to solve their prob. but wife will. wife r willing to even take 2 or 3 jobs if they know their hb hv $$ prob. lovers will leave guy if he's diagnosed w cancer or some serious illness. but wife wont.

every gal will want a happy complete family. but to hv a complete family, also hv to depend on hb.

it's true that broken mirror once broken, even save, no matter how to mend it back, also wont b perfect alr, the crack will still b seen. but if both can accept the crack, the mirror will still look perfect in their eyes. but for us, aft reconcile w my ex bf, the feelings diff alr. aft another 4 yrs, we still broke up.

that cold smile... sigh.... it has been 10 yrs alr. now talk abt this, i can still rem the scene n look on my ex bf's face when i say want start all over again. that means hb dun believe that she will change or they can start all over again. that smile also means it's too late, no use alr.

my ex bf also like that. kept trying to give in, tolerate,... until finally exploded. cannot tahan anymore. it's like pressure cooker. if no outlet, sure explode wat. that's y in order not to explode, he find that gal. actu if ur gf didnt talk abt the sms thingy, her hb will cont like that all the way.

the main prob is ur gf's hb has been keeping all his probs to himself for too long. 14 yrs of secrets. i feel that it's a bit diffi to start all over. sigh!!!!!!!!

 

[SH74]

For me, coz I dun wait until 30yrs old then married, 32 then give birth, will be too old! Like, I'm 20yrs old, my mum will be like 50-60yrs old? Still need to work to support to Uni.?! Will faintz! Wanna retire early man! Efficient alittle, chop chop married, have kids, then when they grow up, at least u have the strength to enjoy life still!! Haha. Of coz, saying all this, u must be sure & not regret that u chose this person as ur DH loh.

:wecry:u say me ah? hahaha...

for me, want to marry in mid 20s but dun dare to take the plunge though alr got steady relationship 'cause seen too many real failed n unhappy marriages. scared. so in the end, reach 30 then married. actu i feel that such things sometimes really depends on fate. though marry late, i'm glad the guy i marry is my hb n not any of my ex bf.

 

[CanCanMum]

yeah, but as an outsider i dun know what actually happened betw them becoz it looks ok to me all these while, and they actually just went for a long retreat 3 months ago, then ok 1 leh, still lovingly together....very very sudden. Now thinking of her hb's face i oso cannot imagine he will do things like that coz he dont look that kind oso...quite honest, average looking guy...

i do belief guys hate nagging...so bottomline is no matter how we feel we shouldnt nag...aiyo wonder if sometimes i got become naggy anot...

 

[CanCanMum]

> mrs puppy, so how many bfs do u have be4 settling down???

 

[January84]

aiya!!! 11: kena fr 2 80s mothers liao. hahaha...

70s bb scared 80s gals will come n stick on hb.
80s bb scared 90s gals will come n stick on hb.

dun think 90s gals want to stick on 70s guy. less possibilities. a bit too old alr. hahaha... :err:

i think it's a common worry for all gals.

muahahahah.... common worry la,.... later 90s scare out children (00's) go and take their DH... never ending...

but, 90s or 00s still can opt for 70s, 60s. . . if they are $ and strong!

 

[autumn82]

:wecry:u say me ah? hahaha...

for me, want to marry in mid 20s but dun dare to take the plunge though alr got steady relationship 'cause seen too many real failed n unhappy marriages. scared. so in the end, reach 30 then married. actu i feel that such things sometimes really depends on fate. though marry late, i'm glad the guy i marry is my hb n not any of my ex bf.

Oops. Not u la. Jus my own preference. Hee. Marriage is like a bet mah.. see u win wat price or nth at all. Haha. I'm also afraid coz of my mum's late & failed marriage, but somehow see my mum's example, I guess take the bet la. Haha. Yeah, it depends on fate alot. I'm also! If I married tt disgusting rat that I mentioned earlier on.. die liao me.

 

[January84]

Ya, I guess so. Wouldn't it be so weird if ppl go ard posting I'm so happy with my marriage~ My DH is a darling~~ Haha.

wah lau eh.... u made me burst out laughing u know (I'm so happy with my marriage~ My DH is a darling)... then now my boss sure noe i am not working.....